To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

[TinfoilHattie]

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me.

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

People have children young tend to go on to have grandchildren young.

This ^ Despite the claim from a certain poster about having six university degrees between her and her MIL (6? really?! ) after both having babies just out of their teens, the fact is that if a woman has a baby young, (under 20,) she will probably not go on to do a SINGLE degree, let alone 3! And she will be unlikely to have a very successful professional career. And statistically her daughter will probably have kids at a very young age too.

And like it or not, people who become grannies by 40-ish, are much more likely to come from sink estates, and poorer backgrounds, and are not likely to be in a professional career - ever.

Say what you like - call me judgemental and snobby, but it's true.

I had my 2 children in my early 30's and would be mortified if they said they were pregnant in their late teens. Out of wedlock, no foot on any career ladder, no home of their own. I would actually feel they had probably ruined their lives.

As I said, say what you like about me, but that is how I feel. Your teens is NOT the time to be having children, and I would not be proud of becoming a granny at 35-40 years old!

YANBU, my DM became a granny in her late 40s (she had me at 19, I had my DD at 29), and she says she feels far to young to be a grandmother. This might be partly because I have a much younger DSis, so a lot of DM's social circle have 14/15 year olds.

My Sister because a grandma at 38 (and me a great aunt at 35), my mum became a great grandma at 58. I had my daughter when i was 40. I don't think it matters really, it's just family to me regardless of how old anyone is.

My mother became a nanny at 38

I will add that my DM becoming a GM in her 40's was certainly not the norm in her circle. Her friends/siblings have only become GP's in the last 5 years.

We had a school reunion the year we all turned 40 and there was more than one person that was already a granny/grandad.

(at that time I had one preschooler and one KS1 child)

I became a grandma at 38, just as I was settling into a new career and into a new marriage. Dd was 17, same age I was when I had my ds.
DH and I couldn't have children, and while we were initially upset at dd's pregnancy, we soon came around to the idea...and we absolutely loved being grandparents. GS is now 16,, and it has been a joy being in his life as he's gone from babyhood to teenager...hopefully, we'll have many more years left - though I definitely wouldn't want to become at great-grandmother at this stage...

I may not even meet my grandchildren I had my own kids so late. My mom never met 2 of her grandchildren. 41 is not TOO young, if that's what OP meant to ask.

Hattie - I think I'm right in saying that there are more babies born to mothers over 40 than there are to mothers under 20 now. I seem to remember it being in the news last year.

Im 48 and I have 12 year old ds and one of my friends has a 12 year old dgc. I never aspired to have a ds so late, she never aspired to be a gp so young.

Didn't Linford Christie become a grandad at 33?

My neighbour (male) is exactly the same age as stbxh. He and his wife became grandparents just as we had our second child.

In my social group I am the anomaly. Many of my work friends and colleagues had children when they were between 18 and 21. Those children are adults are now having children, some are on their second. I am in my 50's and still have a child who finished his GCSEs last summer!
So, no, 40 isn't an outrageously young age to be a grand parent and I have to add my friends who I am talking about are in good jobs and their children are in steady relationship and have employmnet. It's not a case of just having babies because there is nothing else to do.

My mum became a nan at 42, she was married at 19 and had my eldest brother at 21. He then also got married and had his eldest at 21. It doesn't seem that young to me. If you'd said 30 then I'd agree but I think YABU.

I married at 24 and had my first baby at 25. I plan to be done with babies by 30 so I can have a life when they've left home. Everyone is different.

My mum became a granny at 47, I had my son when I was 30.

Also I don't think what was the "norm" years ago is really that relevant in 2017. The age at which people have babies and the age people get married has been rising steadily as has the age people buy their first house. Years ago, the majority of people left school at 14 and only the very privileged went to further education. That's changed enormously too. A 18 year old in 1950 or 1960 might have been working full tine for 4 years, in a very stable job, with a secure income and a tenancy in a council house. That is a totally different ball game to today.

My mum was a granny at 40

My mum became a grandmother at 39 and a great grandmother at 58. My eldest niece had her son 9 years ago. Where as I became a mother 17mo ago at 40. I'd have 2 grandchildren already if I were my DM.

Well, I went to school with a girl that had her first child with 15. Her 2nd (this time planned....) with 18.

Her mother must have been something around 35 when her oldest daughter had her first one...

My mother became a grandother with... 58. (nearly 59)

" DownstairsMixUp

Im 30 and my son is nearly 8 so if he had a baby at 18 i could be a granny at 38..."
40, surely?

littlefrog your opinion may not go down well on here, but I agree with you. It's why so many people live in poverty.

Thanks Draylon. I know my opinion won't go down well, but it's true. I don't know why people get so angry and upset when someone is just speaking the truth. Maybe they see it as attacking the not-so-well-off, or maybe I am hitting a raw nerve, but I haven't said anything that isn't correct. I mean, there may be a few that go against the grain, but not many.

My mum became a Grandma at 41. She was 25 when she had her first child, 26 when i was born and 41 when she had her youngest though so it's certainly not a pattern in my family, I just had DS when i was very young.

But no, I don't think 16 year olds having babies is ideal. No, it's not, but whilst you are judging please try to remember that you don't know every teen mums story. I'd get flamed if i started making assumptions about older mums based purely on their age!

Posted too soon, she had me and 20, I had my first at 20, oh and also her mum had her even earlier. It seems just the 'norm' in our family.

Apart from my brothers who are in their 20's but still live at home and act like children!

My mum became a grandma at 51. I think thay will be about right for me too.
At almost 40 I still have a living grandparent and feel very lucky

Well I was a teen mum had my eldest at 15 and I'm now a mum to 4. I don't live in poverty and I'm not on the dole. I'm a happily married home owner and my children are doing very well. I hate assumptions that all teen mums are the same.