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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider escorting?

237 replies

MakeItRainOnMe · 10/03/2017 15:58

NC'd.

I'm so sick of being poor, I can't even save money to put in to a pension let alone for new and much needed clothes.

I'm (almost) 25 with a 1 year old DD studying at uni and if it wasn't for DD then I would work in the evenings and on weekends but with no family nearby I have no options.

Plus I plan to move back to London when I finish my degree and as there is no room at my mums I think that this will be the best way to survive in London.

Anyone got any suggestions? Help or advice?

Thanks

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2017 17:15

Vestal of course same for men!

The only reason I say that is I know of someone I used to work with who a friend saw out once and they said it looked like she was a "kept woman" and this woman who was kept looked totally different from how she used to look, very polished. The friend spoke to her by text and the woman confirmed she was indeed a mistress but quite happy with it.

WorraLiberty · 10/03/2017 17:17

Brazen if you're doing the same work as a street prostitute, why do you call yourself an 'independent escort'?

Genuine question btw.

Bloopbleep · 10/03/2017 17:20

I have a friend who started making money by wiggling her toes on webcam so they never needed or wanted to see her face. She moved into dominatrix work but strictly no sex (intercourse bj wanking etc) and does really well for herself and loves the job. She rents space in a dungeon and controls her own bookings.

SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2017 17:21

Worra maybe because she rents out a flat to carry out business? Rather than street and into hotels/B&Bs etc

SpookyPotato · 10/03/2017 17:21

If you are strong enough to handle it then go for it, it can pay well. But you can't put a price on your mental health.. I read forums where both punters and prostitutes post and the average price seems to be £120 for an hour. It makes depressing reading though... I would really research it before going ahead. SAAFE has hundreds of threads about the reality of it from a prostitutes point of view, there are also punting forums if you search for them which show the mans point of view..

msrisotto · 10/03/2017 17:23

You can do better OP. You're already working to better yourself by studying at uni, you can surely get some advice on opportunities which may not pay loads in the short term (although probably as good as prostitution) and with prospects in the longer term. This isn't the easy, lucrative solution you're imagining. Think of the risks (rape, assault for starters) and the long term consequences on your and your little one's lives. You can do better than this.

Dowser · 10/03/2017 17:24

I thought the same as Faye . Videoing your webcam to be used later :-(

OhHolyFuck · 10/03/2017 17:25

the-invisible-men.tumblr.com

That's the reality

prettywhiteguitar · 10/03/2017 17:29

That invisible man tumblr blog is so depressing

SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2017 17:31

pretty depressing but true.

NavyandWhite · 10/03/2017 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hungryhippo90 · 10/03/2017 17:38

OP, I knew a girl who got involved in prostitution at the age of 17-18. Years on she's still pretty damaged by it.

As a "new girl" you are like a magnet to the weird/creepy/dangerous ones.

In the year she did it and we were still friendly she had been robbed, sexually assaulted and was treated appallingly apparently.

Maybe hang around on SAAFE for a bit, see what you think of the posts and what goes on. It's an eye opener if only just to forewarn you about what to look out for. But I would seriously recommend doing anything but sex work unless you are 100% sure that it's something that isn't going to affect your mentality.

wetcardboard · 10/03/2017 17:38

I worked on the fringes of the industry in my mid-twenties. As a stripper, a receptionist/booker in a couple of (legal) brothels in another country, and a dominatrix for very short time. I wouldn't advise the industry. It's hard on your body and even harder on your mind. Studies show that prostitutes display the same amount of PTSD as combat veterans. I can honestly see why.

At the nice "safe" completely legal brothel I worked at I had to keep a kit full of tampons, pads, antiseptics, cotton swabs and wipes under my reception desk. This was for the women who were bleeding from the cervix or anus or had other injuries from rough sex. Twice when I was there we had a woman going to A and E.

The reality is that men go to prostitutes these days to get the kind of sex they see in porn which their girlfriends and wives refuse to do. Men will book you so they can jackhammer your cervix, face-fuck you until you choke and vomit, arse-fuck you hard enough to make you cry real tears. They want to get their money's worth, after all.

If you're not prepared to let men enact porn-style stunt sex on your body while pretending to enjoy it, shift after shift, you will struggle to make money. And even if you do you will still struggle to make good money as there's so much competition.

It's hard to understand the reality of the industry if you've never been exposed to it first-hand. This is in part deliberate, as the industry relies on having a steady stream of young women exactly like yourself who think it might be a good idea and why not give it a try. I would advise you not to fall for it and do something - ANYTHING - else.

Etymology23 · 10/03/2017 17:40

I know you think you need other experience, but I had only ever had normal jobs and then done bits and pieces of volunteering e.g. With the students union, when I was applying for jobs.

Fear is not a good reason to sell your body, it'll make it harder to get out the system. Could you go and see the CAB and see if there are any additional benefits you're entitled to? Or see if the uni careers service can help you smarten up your CV? Some internships are paid, could you take one of those? Can you take on any work you could do from home, like editing essays or proof reading or anything?

SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2017 17:47

wetcard actually you've reminded me, I knew a "maid" in a brothel, she basically answered phones and got the job through knowing a mother at the school her DC went to, who was a prostitute.

My friend unofficially fostered her friend's DD (the friend asked her to), years later the prostitute friend is now not in that industry as far as I know helps women etc. but there are lots of drugs etc and damaged people in prostitution no matter how you try to package it nicely.

WorraLiberty · 10/03/2017 17:50

Worra maybe because she rents out a flat to carry out business? Rather than street and into hotels/B&Bs etc

But she's still a prostitute.

I was wondering why she chooses to use a different phrase.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 10/03/2017 18:03

Everything wetcardboard said about men wanting that "porn experience". And don't think that webcamming is much different. True you have that camera between you and them so there is no touching of each other but the men that use the sites are equally demanding and even the "nice" ones don't respect women at all when you think about it. I'd say a lot of it's to do with hardcore porn being so readily available and now the expectations are higher than ever. About how you "should" look and definitely about what services you offer.

And webcam or prostitution/escorting taking it up the arse is standard. Most want that whether it's their dick or something else that you do to yourself. I really wouldn't advise any kind of sex work unless you have nerves of steels and you say it's out of desperation so you're not going to be so skint... don't do it. Please. Find another way to get by. Best of luck OP.

AdoraBell · 10/03/2017 18:05

OP is there nothing else you could do? As others have said it would have a negative effect on your mental/emotional health.

Also, being a cynic, I think wetcardboard wrote a more realistic post than brazen. Even if brazen has not had such negative experiences I can't help believing that more men will behave like savages with a prostitute than not.

TheresHensInTheSkirting · 10/03/2017 18:12

I've looked quickly at some of the links and this is a dark, dark industry.
I can't imagine anyone would seriously consider it after reading any of those reviews on that tumblr.
And this is the nicer stuff, we haven't even touched on the prostitutes that just go missing, or the ones that are found dead.
As someone else mentioned, the types of men that pay for sex are not the types of men that you'd want to be mixing with on a day to day basis. You would be accepting a "high risk" lifestyle that could potentially wind you up in a body bag.
Listen to the my favourite murders podcast, it's comedy, but discusses some of the darkest crimes ever committed. It might open your eyes to some of the weirdos out there. There are a lot of them. Keep safe.

Astoria7974 · 10/03/2017 18:15

Stripping is probably better money if you can get an interview at a reputable place.

joystir59 · 10/03/2017 18:21

Dear OP I strongly urge you to read some of the facts and stories of prostituted women found on this website:
nordicmodelnow.org/

joystir59 · 10/03/2017 18:23

And have a look at this website on which punters rate prostituted women as commodities- have a look at some of the reviews: www.punternet.com/index.php

EatSpamAmandaLamb · 10/03/2017 18:29

Just as a really brutal wake up FYI (and my post about phone work wasn't encouraging you btw) you can get herpes, crabs and live even without a split condom.

Ellisandra · 10/03/2017 18:29

I've seen a lot of website prostitute ads - when I discovered my cheating XH's bookings!
I can tell you that they were all offering anal.
It's still an extra in relationship sex I think - to be discussed, lubed for and gently tried.
Prostitutes - it's pretty much a basic from what I saw.

joystir59 · 10/03/2017 18:33

Prostitution requires you to be a set of fuck holes with which you will service men who will do what they want to do to you even if you are ill, even if you are under age, even if its obviously you have been illegally trafficked, and then complain at your lack of enthusiasm.

Anything, even going hungry and relying on food banks is better.

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