To consider escorting?

[MakeItRainOnMe]

NC'd.

I'm so sick of being poor, I can't even save money to put in to a pension let alone for new and much needed clothes.

I'm (almost) 25 with a 1 year old DD studying at uni and if it wasn't for DD then I would work in the evenings and on weekends but with no family nearby I have no options.

Plus I plan to move back to London when I finish my degree and as there is no room at my mums I think that this will be the best way to survive in London.

Anyone got any suggestions? Help or advice?

Thanks

high no I'm not trolling. If I wasn't a lone parent I wouldn't even think of doing this, but the money sounds good. And let's face it, I'll never have a successful career. I'll probably have to work 7-7 everyday to live an ok life in London and to move up the career ladder whilst missing the best years of DDs life. She won't forgive me.

That's not what I pictured in my head

But it's the sort of thing that clients which is too polite a word for them would expect because 'escort' is synonymous with 'prostitute'. As someone said up thread, if they've paid the cash then they expect the goods. It's not Pretty Woman made real, it's men (who are quite often not very nice men) paying money for a collection of holes in which to shove it.

There is a basic rule with being paid well. There's a reason.

Either there are only a few very skilled people (not in this case), it's dangerous (yep), it's hard (yep), it needs serious qualifications (nope), lots of people want the service but not many offer it (this is why sex work is getting less and less lucrative, because desperate women are willing to do more for less). Consider that before you think it's good money.

So leave london if you can and live somewhere more affordable

I can't believe people are actually suggesting you do any sort of sex work.
So much for feminism and offering reasonable advice.
Seriously, read about what happens to women working in the sex industry, read about their lifestyles, the risks they take and put that into context of you as a mother.
There are many single parent students out there that achieve a good life without resorting to degrading themselves.

Whatever job you do your issue is childcare and earning enough to cover it. At the risk of sounding like a tedious accountant type (I am a tedious accountant) have a look at graduate training schemes and the like. Big companies offer great training opportunities to graduates and will likely offer other employment benefits such as a pension (that they also pay into), sick pay, childcare vouchers, etc. Not a quick fix and there is competition but your uni should be able to help you find and apply for opportunities. Whether or not you want to escort or do other work is entirely your call but universities tend to have fantastic resources to help get graduates into work (levels of graduate employment are how they attract new undergraduates ) it's got to be worth a chat with someone at least. Also if you are really struggling, hardship loans are available. If your decision is entirely driven by economic factors your university will try and help you.

I knew someone who did phone sex work a few years ago, and she said that even phone work is not just as simple as dirty talk any more - men can get that kind of thing for free anywhere online. If they're paying for it then they want the kind of talk that most of us have never even heard of. .

As for being a prostitute, what exactly are you going to tell your mum you do for a living when she's looking after your dd while you're out shagging men who are cheating on their wives?

And you say you want to move back to london when you've finished your degree? So you won't have afternoons when you're not at uni, presumably you'll be looking for a job in the field you have qualified in?

OP I would strongly advise that you don't consider this.

If you want to see the sort of men you would be doing business with - an informative place to start is the 'review' pages of punter sites. This website collates them the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/ for you. It is not nice reading.

I wouldn't consider web-cam work either - as sooner or later, you are likely to be recognised by someone who knows you/knows of you. And you have your child to think of.

If you're 24 and at university you don't need to worry yet about pensions.

Think about what prostitution would do you, OP. Not just physically - though of course the chance of rape, serious sexual assault and STDs increase massively if you work in that area - but to your sense of yourself.

Speak to your university. Tell them that you see no alternative but to sell your body. That will tell them how serious you are about your financial situation.

Forget London for now. Every major city in the UK is cheaper to live in than London. And what's the point of doing your degree if you're planning to have sex for money afterwards? What's your degree? You can always name change and ask for some advice in finding a job in that area - there are some very experienced people here.

As far as web cam work is concerned, wouldn't you worry that someone would have those images of you? Would you be able to rest afterwards?

Why will you never have a successful career? Don't worry about pensions for now if you're only 24.

"I'm not willing to have anal sex. That's not what I pictured in my head."

What exactly do you have 'pictured in your head' about prostitution? Good looking men, caring lovers?

You can browse the SAAFE forums for some first-hand accounts of what it's like. For the most part their clients are men that find it hard to meet partners and get sex in the regular world - disabled, elderly, for example, or restricted by religious barriers. Then there are those that find it hard because, well... they're the sort of men who use prostitutes. They're not exactly chiselled young studs in sharp suits who just haven't met the right girl.

If your mother can watch your kid at evenings and weekends, you can get a job in a shop, bar or call centre (and don't sneer at them. People sneered at me in call centre work, fuck that, I was sat in a glistening skyscraper in nice office clothes, well-educated colleagues dealing with complex financial law queries. Excellent job, excellent prospects, few entry requirements.)

wannabe I will be looking for a job but employers want more than a degree nowadays. They want work experience from internships and placements. None of which I have managed to secure plus would be impossible with being a mum and all.

Please read the comments on the link TheWoodlander provided, OP. That's the reality of the job you're considering.

Use your university's career service. And consider moving to a cheaper region than London/SE.

OP you sound depressed and it is diminishing your capacity to think through the consequences of your suggestion. Life goes on and you need to start enjoying the journey!

Have a read on punter net for the sort of men who use Escorts and how they feel about women.

Once someone pays for your time they'll expect more than a nervous chat.

That's not what you pictured?

Then you'd better start picturing it, and much more.

You might have the odd punter that wants touchy feely "lovemaking", but lots, probably most will want hard, rough, porn style pounding, blowing them until you gag, style sex.

Merkel please read this before you make any decisions. This is the reality, that many escorts have.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/2799410-Guest-post-I-didnt-think-of-my-prostitution-as-traumatic-but-it-left-me-with-PTSD

OP, I’m an independent escort at the moment. ‘Independent’ as in not working for an agency (they’re just pimps with fancy websites in my view) and ‘escort’ as In not a street prostitute, but essentially doing the same thing.
I've been doing this work since I was 23 (I'm 30 now) and I absolutely love my job.

However, a few things to consider:

1.) I wouldn’t advise getting into escorting unless you can walk into every pub in your town/city, and very coolly imagine sucking the cock of every single man in there.
I don’t say that to be crass, you really must be ok with the idea of servicing men you might find physically repulsive.

2.) You must have a detached or unconventional view of sex to do this job without feeling any shame, remorse, disgust, or violation. You have to be able to separate your work sex from the sex in your personal life.

3.) You must be very mentally robust, self-assured and confident. You have to be assertive enough to throw a client out your working flat (or to leave his house, if you’re doing outcalls) when he asks for a refund at the end of the booking because you happen to have a tiny stretch-mark on your ass or because he came quicker than he thought he would.

4.) Review sites. There are several of them, and if you attract enough attention you will be reviewed on them by a certain subsection of punters. The reviews will detail what happened in the booking, every detail of your body (particularly your flaws) and they will rate you.
These tend to not have too much of an impact on business, but it can really fuck with your self-esteem if you’re already feeling low.

5.) Seriously consider whether escorting will affect your future job prospects or family life. You must pay tax on your earnings, and you will be leading a double life (unless you come out to your friends and family about what you’re doing.) It might also affect how you feel about men and relationships in general.

And that’s before we even get into the dangers of the job…

Escorting is very competitive and very emotionally and physically draining. If your only reason for considering doing the job is a desire to pull yourself out of poverty, then you are not going to survive in this industry and it won’t be good for your mental health.

If you really are desperate, try camming first. It’ll give you a taste of the sex industry and you can decide what you want to do from there.
If you are dead set on escorting, PM me. I can point you in the right direction to get some advice from other experienced escorts. Mumsnet really isn't the right place to be looking for advice on this.

Men don't just want you to escort them to dinner.

There are different types, the more classy ones or the one I recently saw on Commercial Road, East London who certainly was "touting" and had a fair bit of cleavage showing at that time of night. The vast majority I also saw round that area (worked there 6 years) had drug and alcohol problems too.

I also knew a friend of a friend who did "high class escort" (she had a DD who was away at boarding school) and it didn't take long for her lifestyle to get mixed up with drink, drugs etc. she eventually got out of it (now married) but had a few sleaze bags (including her boss who knew) on her case for ages.

Do you really want that? Or to know that someone may recognise you in later life and put two and two together?

Some women are raped anally by their boyfriends or husbands. Do you really think you would not, sooner or later, have a man who pays you as prostitute try to rape you anally when you have only assented to vaginal sex?

Stay out of London, move somewhere cheaper, work in something that is not your chosen career if you think you can't get into that without unpaid internships and the like.

But don't get into prostitution - the money you'd have to spend to feel good about yourself again, whether you develop shopping addiction or pay for therapy, would likely be more than you earn.

Actually i know of another woman who used to meet Arabs (this was about 15 years ago) we all used to work in Mayfair area, she was a "high class hooker", she was very well educated, she may not have had sex but I'm sure she did other stuff. It was nice eg dinners out at nice restaurants and hotels of the day but she did it for "a bit on the side" to supplement her salary and maybe to meet someone. On the whole they won't date or marry you you're "mistress" or hooker category.

Are you not leaving yourself wide open to blackmail if you do stuff over a webcam?

Anyone could record it or take screenshots and use it against you in future.

To be blunt, how would you feel if videos of you fingering yourself were sent to your family, future employers or just posted online for anyone to see, forever?

There must be a better way OP.

Or to know that someone may recognise you in later life and put two and two together?

If we lived in a fair world, men would have to consider that before paying for an escort.

OP I assume you are a single parent so you should be entitled to housing benefit while you study/work and tax credits. If you are so skint then you need to spend your free time looking at your finances and working out why you are so skint all the time and making sure you are claiming for everything you're entitled to and if you're still skint you are probably over spending on something.

Brazenhussy0 - do you really love your job or just the money? Is your post for real?