Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this an excessive amount for workplace money collection?

241 replies

StopBloodyClimbing · 05/03/2017 08:29

One of my colleagues is getting married next month. We're a small team, there are only 8 of us. We works shifts and because of the days we work I have only worked a handful of shifts with the person who is getting married. I like them though, just haven't spent much time with them. The whole team get on okay buy we're not really friends, just colleuges.

Normally when we do a money collection for gifts it is about £5-10. It's only ever been for people leaving/having babies though, there hasn't been a wedding one before.

My manager has decided for this one we should all put in £35. I was Shock. To me this is a lot of money at the moment. I work one or two short shifts a week for minimum wage, have two dc and am expecting dc3. Dp had recently had to take a pay cut so we are skint. £35 is pretty much a week's wages for me. My manager (bit of a bully and not at all approachable) keeps reminding me to bring in my money next week and reiterating the amount.

AIBU to think it's excessive? I genuinely don't know. A few years ago I would have just paid up no question but things are so tight at the moment I think that my judgement has been skewed somewhat.

OP posts:
00100001 · 05/03/2017 08:31

That's insane!!

Did he not mean £35 in total!???

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 08:31

but can you argue for less?
if so, say you can only afford £20 as you are part time.

LillyBugg · 05/03/2017 08:32

Very excessive. Since when did collections dictate how much you put in? Surely you just drop some coins in an envelope?! You'll have to say something OP, it's just not fair.

empirerecordsrocked · 05/03/2017 08:32

Absolutely no way would I pay that!!

beargrass · 05/03/2017 08:32

It's excessive! I doubt you would be the only one to say so. I'd say I'd love to be able to put that much in but can't and am happy to go with the usual amounts.

Almahart · 05/03/2017 08:32

That's ridiculous.

Original poster
StopBloodyClimbing · 05/03/2017 08:33

No, definitely each. When they first mentioned £35 I thought they meant in total and thought "that's a bit cheap, sure we could stretch to £50" Grin then it became clear it was from each of us.

OP posts:
ThermoScan · 05/03/2017 08:33

Excessive.5-10 is fine,pay what you can afford

WizzardHat · 05/03/2017 08:33

No chance would I pay that - he can make up the difference if he wants. Usually it's just a pound, where I am, and if anyone wants to put more in then they can but no one would dream of asking them to.

MaisyPops · 05/03/2017 08:34

Ridiculous.
Most ive hears of is £15 each when i was in a tight knit department and we knew nobody was struggling for it.

Dont pay it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/03/2017 08:34

Take in a tenner , if that works for you , and tell them that's what you can give.

Easy to say ignore the bullying twat but don't give £35 , that's ridiculous.

IamFriedSpam · 05/03/2017 08:34

That's absolutely insane. They wouldn't suggest that much if you were all top lawyers.

milkysmum · 05/03/2017 08:34

Ha they can't tell you how much to put in to a collection! £35 for a work colleague is ridiculous and no way would I pay it in!

Redglitter · 05/03/2017 08:34

I'd just give what you can afford. They can't dictate how much you all contribute that's outrageous

Original poster
StopBloodyClimbing · 05/03/2017 08:34

I was talking about it with one of my other colleagues last week and she has paid it even though it's left her totally skint till pay day (we get paid middle of the month).

OP posts:
bloodymaria · 05/03/2017 08:34

No way. Don't be railroaded into handing over that money. Do you have an HR contact?

whirlygirly · 05/03/2017 08:35

That's madness. I think you just need to be very direct and tell him you can't afford that amount, here's a fiver.

I'd never put any of my team in that position. Some of them moan about a pound. Workplace collections really add up. Sad

AuntiePenguin · 05/03/2017 08:35

In my last job I was on £70k (all my colleagues would have been on about the same) and nobody ever put more than £10 into any collection. Normal was about £5.

Just tell your manager firmly that's more than you're going to spend on a gift for a colleague, and put in what you feel comfortable with.

It's really not normal for managers to try and dictate how much goes into a collection, or to ask for such large amounts.

megletthesecond · 05/03/2017 08:36

Yanbu. Management can't dictate how much staff should contribute. Even a fiver would be too much for me.

HRHCocoa · 05/03/2017 08:36

That makes me so so cross.

Evalineaa · 05/03/2017 08:37

Nope that's ridiculous. And I'd not pay it either.

user1471521456 · 05/03/2017 08:38

Are you all invited to the wedding? (Or does the boss think you are?) In which case, £35 is not totally unreasonable, although if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. If not, that's a daft amount for a collection.

mya83 · 05/03/2017 08:38

£35 is ridiculous op and I really hope you tell him so. Even if I could afford it no way would I want to put £35 into a work collection, it's just so bizarre that he thinks it normal to not only dictate how much you put in put also think telling you to contribute so much money, is acceptable!
Take £10 in on Monday and if he dares ask where the rest is just say non-apologetically, "sorry it's all I can afford" what's he going to do? He can't force you to pay and I have a feeling a few others might just be relieved you've spoken up first.
Have you discussed it with others in the team? What have they said? I would be very surprised if you were the only one not happy about this!

Original poster
StopBloodyClimbing · 05/03/2017 08:39

I'm glad it's not just me! I thought I was being a cheapskate.

I'll have to strap on my big girl pants and take in a tenner. £35 is pretty much out food shopping for the week!

OP posts:
MitchellMummy · 05/03/2017 08:40

That is LUDICROUS. Firstly as no-one should be forced to give anything, let alone a specific amount. Secondly - how dare the boss insist on such a large amount. If you told the boss that you simply cannot afford that amount, that it would leave your kids short of food or whatever then perhaps he/she will have a change of heart. If you do it within earshot of one or two of your other colleagues then you may get some support (none of us like to be the first person to speak up). Whenever we've done collections in our small group we tell the person who doesn't have much money that the amount is £2 each even though the actual amount is £5-£10 each. I'm outraged by your post ... in my office days it was a case of passing round the envelope and giving what you could afford. On one occasion I refused to contribute as I didn't like the person - she was universally unpopular but I was the only one to refuse!