Is this an excessive amount for workplace money collection?

[StopBloodyClimbing]

One of my colleagues is getting married next month. We're a small team, there are only 8 of us. We works shifts and because of the days we work I have only worked a handful of shifts with the person who is getting married. I like them though, just haven't spent much time with them. The whole team get on okay buy we're not really friends, just colleuges.

Normally when we do a money collection for gifts it is about £5-10. It's only ever been for people leaving/having babies though, there hasn't been a wedding one before.

My manager has decided for this one we should all put in £35. I was . To me this is a lot of money at the moment. I work one or two short shifts a week for minimum wage, have two dc and am expecting dc3. Dp had recently had to take a pay cut so we are skint. £35 is pretty much a week's wages for me. My manager (bit of a bully and not at all approachable) keeps reminding me to bring in my money next week and reiterating the amount.

AIBU to think it's excessive? I genuinely don't know. A few years ago I would have just paid up no question but things are so tight at the moment I think that my judgement has been skewed somewhat.

Oh, and yes, it is of course a silly amount. No chance would I pay that. He cant dictate to you how much to contribute!

are they buying them white goods?

sorry there are 8 of you, i misread., £300 , must be a dishwasher or something?

£35?!? I used to put in £1 for those things, we had several each week. Batshit. Just refuse.

You earn minimum wage and work part time.

I'd laugh and say "ha ha very funny", put £2 and say no more about it.

That is a bonkers amount! I'm surprised everyone else has paid it!

I have never been asked to contribute a specific amount to a work collection. Gifts are purchased according to what the collection raises. Speak to the manager about it and back up the conversation in writing in an email so you have a record in case you need it with HR. I'm outraged on your behalf.

They are buying vouchers. As far as I know she doesn't have a gift list. There wasn't one included in my invitation anyway.

Ridiculous. It should be £10 max.

Can you just opt out? I get my own present these days. When a parent was collecting for my dd's class teacher, I said, I've already got something thanks anyway. Same for colleagues.

I agree with Francis the continual reminders does amount to bullying.
Also. I think there is some "trying to take the credit for organising an expensive present " to make the manager look good. Not a good look when you think about it.

It's not up to your manager to dictate how much anyone should give.
Someone should point that out to him or her.
After several colllections at work (though mostly for retirement presents) I've never heard of such a thing.

Something the same as this happened to me when like you OP I was pregnant and very hard up financially. A woman working many more hours than I could get, and with a husband working, cornered me in the staff room and held her hand out and demanded I pay £10 there and then for a present for our asst. mgr. It wasn't even for a particular event in the mgr's life it was just for no good reason. When I explained I couldn't pay it she got really nasty and accused me of all sorts. I ended up taking my mat leave early and never going back, the senior mgr phoned me and said she understood but nothing was ever done to resolve it so she can't have understood that much. Good riddance

I agree that I think the manager has organised it to make herself look good. There also seems to be an element of glee when she tells me "it's £35 remember". She likes making people feel uncomfortable and knows full well that I'm skint at the moment.

YANBU OP. I work in a medium sized team (about 30) and there's usually a few collections a year for various things. Normal donation amount is £5-10. £35 is ridiculously excessive.

So your manager is a bully, if she likes making people uncomfortable . Have you got an HR , bullying takes all forms and is never acceptable in the workplace.

Oh my goodness. I've had similar issues , had a thread about being expected to split food bills at meals out where they had super expensive stuff and I didn't and of course the collection thing. This is awful. I literally would have to say no as I simply couldn't do it. OP you have my sympathy, some workplaces/ colleagues just don't get it. That amount is just insane.

Oh yes she is definitely a bully. Numerous complaints have been made about her to HR but she somehow always gets away with it. I was once told by the area manager that they know what she's like but she is very reliable (as in she always turns up on time and doesn't take sick leave) so they need to keep her sweet.

Just say very loudly in front of everyone when the manager asks.

"I am on minimum wage. I earn £X per week. I have children. I cannot afford to contribute 1/4 of my weekly pay to this present (or whatever).

If you would like to give me a £30 a week raise then I will be happy to contribute that. Otherwise here is what I can afford. "

They will look like a dick and never ask again.

I would make her feel uncomfortable right back. Look her in the eye and say I'm sorry, that will leave us without food this month. Then say nothing more. Hold your nerve, look at her and wait to see what she says. If she dares to ask again, say, I could go without myself of course, but I'm not prepared for my small children to go without, I can give you £5 but to be honest, even that makes a difference to us.
Tbh if someone asked me for £35 I would just laugh and say "I wish I had extra £35's to throw around".

Where I work now, we just pass an envelope round, and people put in if they want to.

If your manager wants to give a specific gift, it's up to them to foot the bill.

I'd say 'sorry, can't afford it' and put in £5.

I was in a situation like this earlier in my career, and didn't want to just say no. So I said I'd already bought the person a gift and so wouldn't contribute to the collection. You could always give him a bottle of wine and a card just from you instead. Guessing you can't do this though as it's been rumbling on for a while!

If a friend invited me to the evening part of their wedding I wouldn't even spend £35 on their gift, never mind that amount on a colleague.

That really is outrageous.

19lottie totally has it.

Are these informal complaints or has anyone taken out a formal grievance? Do you belong to a union? It seems to me that this is an example of a much wider issue. Start logging all issues and think about seeking advice.

No WAY. Speak to the rest of your colleagues, theyre bound to object too. In my work everyone puts in a fiver, I throw in a tenner because i'm the manager, but never more than that.

£35 is taking the piss. Give what you can afford and leave it at that.