being called mum by nurses in hospital

[thecatsarecrazy]

I know its only a small thing and its probably because I've been here to long but the nurses calling me "mum" I'm not your mum, would it be so hard to learn my name? Has this annoyed anyone else?

Is it your child in hospital? So, the ward has maybe 24 beds. Each child has possibly two parents. These days you can't assume the same surnames. So yes, it is unreasonable for you to expect the staff on every shift to have learnt your name and the name of every other parent on the ward. We use mum and dad as a shorthand.

I think you are overthinking it! They are just trying to be nice.

It really, really annoyed my mum!

No-one did it to me.

Oh and a better 'shorthand' would be 'ma'am'

I had it when my son was in NICU after being born extremely prematurely. To be honest it was nice to be thought of as 'mum' at a time when my child could not have lived. If that's all you have to worry about, think yoi

It's the same at baby groups etc. They can't learn everyone's names I suppose.

Think yourself very lucky indeed.

I've been here since Saturday, I'm going a bit stir crazy. Just me only one parent allowed. Was only lighthearted

Sorry but if that's biggest worry when you/DC In hospital?

Yeah, YABU I'm afraid. The last children's ward I worked on had 36 bed spaces, always full, and a high patient turnover. At least 1 guardian per child, usually more. You're expecting the nursing staff to double their already large and dynamic list of names to remember. Chances are most of them only know the names of the sickest children who've been there longest. Can you imagine having to learn as many new names each day as you're expecting them to?

I feel exactly the same as ohforfrigssake

Same at nursery, afterschool and holiday clubs, swimming lessons. I'm called mum more than my real name and I suppose it will stay like this for a while.

Wouldn't you rather they focused on your care than on learning everyone's name and risking getting/pronouncing it wrong every time?

Your name would be on the notes, so it's readily available. I also didn't like it. I thought it was rude. Doctors don't seem to do it, but nurses do. It's rude. I presumed it was more to do with avoiding calling you miss or Mrs.

Well, I take wicker's point entirely, and in general I agree that HCPs can't learn the name of every parent of their patients, but I do agree with you: I absolutely hate being called "mum" when dealing with HCPs in relation to my own child, and in my work as an HCP I try to get round it by using eye contact and a pleasant, friendly manner to communicate if I can't remember the name. It's awful and reductive, I understand what you're saying.

I think you need to find some more important things to get annoyed about and start being grateful for the care you/your child is receiving from underpaid and overworked staff in hospital.

Doesn't bother me. On a kids ward so many come and go it's hard to remember extra names - and it may be on the notes but they don't really have time to look for that each time!

There again I am at the point now where I am on first name terms with a lot of the staff anyway!

This happened to us today too. I quite liked it. Lovely nurse she was too x

My son hasn't been well for over a week so no not the only thing I have to worry about. I have 3 children, 2 I haven't seen since Thursday who I miss terribly and one baby. I'm by his bedside in hospital still waiting to find out what's wrong with him. I just started this post as a bit of light heartedness. Don't feel very "lucky" at all right now

I'm a children's nurse and when I meet new parents/relatives for the first time I always introduce myself by name, ask their names and ask then how they like to be addresses. 99% of people want to be called by their first names which suits me fine as I much prefer this. I don't like calling parents "mom and dad" as I think it looks like you can't be arsed to get to know them as a family unit.

I never called the patient "child" and I think the parents deserve to be called by their name just as much as my patient done. It's basic manners in my eyes.

YANBU OP - I hope your little one recovers soon

It doesn't bother me at all, ive had 5 children so had this a lot.
I'm currently raising my grandson and everywhere we go (lots of appointments due to additional needs) I get called grandma, lol makes me feel like an old lady sometimes and I'm only 46.

I wouldn't mind at all, I can't remember what they called me when DS was in hospital, but at nursery they mostly call me mum. My role at those times is of mum to my dc, not as an individual

Your name just isn't important. No one there cares. They're busy trying to work on your child.

I hope you get good news soon. I wish you and DC lots of luck.

When I had DS a midwife came in and said 'how's mum?' I waffled on about my mum and her recent cancer operation and how she's ok now thank you very much. A bit later I realised she meant me!

Hope your son has a speedy recovery op

I haven't read the whole thread but YADNBU. I'm a NICU mum and I hated this. We were there for months ffs. And I do know how hard it is - I am a trainee mw and yes it's hard to remember names especially on postnatal, a quick glance at the notes does it. I still volunteer in NICU, I'm there once a week and I know the parents' names better than the staff do. it's one of my pet bugbears, I hear it a lot from parents and feed it back a lot.