being called mum by nurses in hospital

[thecatsarecrazy]

I know its only a small thing and its probably because I've been here to long but the nurses calling me "mum" I'm not your mum, would it be so hard to learn my name? Has this annoyed anyone else?

Hope your little one picks up soon. He is gorgeous btw :)

I like being called mum. Like Jennifer it gives me the warm fuzzies (a lovely expression). I don't like anyone calling me Mrs Pixiedust - although actually that would be pretty awesome when I think about it! :D

I do teams nurses and docs them to waste not even one brain cell on me and my bloody name.

I want everything, everything, to be about my child.

So suffice to say, I have no problem with this in any shape or form.

And hugs to you and Tristan

i havent read whole thread but wanted to say....years and years ago ,like on the ark or similar :) there was alovely mumsnetter, i think her name was Raven, i recall she had a very disabled dd, and she started a thread about exactly the same thing, i remember joining in stating that as a doctor i alwasy called the parent 'mum' ( presuming it was a female parent obviously) and how it had never dawned on me how the mum in question might feel about it....upshot of a lovely thread and sensible convo between raven and me, i changed my practice, and firstly i always now check who the adult is with the childe..
so it goes child and adult come in and i say ' hello little jonny, and you are...?'and i look enquringly at adult with a warm reassuring smile ....and they say ' oh i am mum/grnadma/dad/au pair etc....' and i say ' great what would you like me to call you mum ? mrs smith etc..'

9/10 times they are happy to be called mum or granny, or whatever...and i have realized as well that many children have different terms for the adults in their life, especially grandparents and is very reassuring to a scared unwell child to hear an adult refer to the adult their know and trust using the same musculature they do...( though foufoupops did throw me a bit when asking a granny what the children called her)

i will always remember raven and her ability to nicely point in me in this direction.

Sorry typo. I meant that I dont want docs and nurses to waste not even one brain cell on me and my bloody name.

Sorry to hear about your son, hope he gets Sorted. I've spent a fair few nights in hospital with my kids. When they were in NICU the in one hospital (they were transferred) they had a sign on the incubator with their name and underneath 'my mum is called X' 'my dad is Y'. It really helped and meant not only nurses knew our names but I could learn names of some other parents!

It wouldn't bother me in hospital but in important meetings where the chair of the meeting knows you well, has your name wriiten in front of them and still insists on calling you babykitkats Mum. I want to murder people. Makes me feel like a spare part!

Hi OP,
Our DS spent a lot of time in NICU with breathing difficulties too. It's awful and terrifying and exhausting. He had Laryngomalacia - if you get a diagnosis, feel free to pm me as it's rare and all the support you can get is invaluable.
FWIW, the nurses (for the most part) remembered mine and my husbands names - as above it matters as your mental health is imperative when treating your baby. You matter too. Hope He's home very soon and you can put this all behind you

When DD1 was a regular in hospital, it annoyed me, too, especially as they would then introduce DD1 by both her names, then call me mum. I really hated one student doctor - a woman in her 30s - who whispered all her questions to the nurse to ask. Unfortunately for her, I was ill myself, XH was offshore somewhere and DD2 was being shuttled from pillar to post, and this bloody woman couldn't address me to my face. I gave her short shrift and the doctors improved immensely in how they spoke to me after that.

I've been referred to as Mummy when taking the cat to the vet. As in the cats mummy. Which offended me! I am not the cats bloody mother and I do not think it is my child!!

Ha Sara now that is annoying and really quite funny!
OP your little boy is gorgeous. Hope he is better soon xx

Thecats I agree with you. It's the apparently little things that can make a difference to the way you cope with the long days in hospital. My MIL calls me mummy, in a pouty, babyish sort of way, but it's just so odd that I don't even know how to address it. I hope Tristan is well soon and you can both go home.

YANBU OP and just because your child is ill doesn't mean people don't have to be polite to you, quite the opposite. No one expects HCPs to remember everyone's names - they don't have to if they look at the notes! I can just about cope with 'hallo Jimmy, can I listen to your heart while you sit on mummy's lap' but that's very different from 'hallo Mummy how was Jimmy last night'
As PPs have said it's easy enough to ask, or use no name if you really can't check the notes.

Personally, I'd rather they concentrated on making a child better than remembering a name!

Hope your little boy is well soon op. I don't like being called mum either btw, maybe not important in the whole scheme of things but its still irritating.

I can just about cope with 'hallo Jimmy, can I listen to your heart while you sit on mummy's lap' but that's very different from 'hallo Mummy how was Jimmy last night'

But in the latter case, the HCP is using language geared towards your child - the language they are used to using and hearing ... and they feel included in the conversation, rather than just having two adults talking about them as though they aren't there.

What a gorgeous little boy. I hope you get to take him home soon

I am a nurse and I wouldn't mind if you asked me to call you by your first name, not one bit. So don't be afraid to tell them, they won't mind at all.

and they feel included in the conversation, rather than just having two adults talking about them as though they aren't there.

No, actually, you're not including Jimmy in the conversation. You're still talking about him, not to him - you're just calling Mummy the wrong name, because Jimmy knows only he calls her that.

You want to include Jimmy? How about 'good morning you two/everyone. How was last night?'

oooh....jassy...that is a great idea...i will try it out in next clinic. Thanks :)

I always feel really uncomfortable calling parents at work by their first names because I don't know them. I occasionally will call a long term patient or a frequent flyer's mum by their first name. But mum is much easier!

What a lovely baby!
I dislike it too OP. I found it really patronising. We were in for a while with DS1 (undiagnosable abdo pain) and I felt really belittled by it. Much prefer 'X's mum' if anything needs using at all. It didn't figure too much though as all the hcps were doing a flipping amazing job and tbh they could have called me anything at all by the time we were diagnused!
I hope Tristan feels better soon and you can both go home again quickly.

That is one very cute baby Op, hope he's better soon. ( I'd get that NG tube taped down better before he pulls it out. And he will!)

Not as annoying as the "muuuummmmm" every 5 mins you will hear in 4 yrs or so. 😂

The "muuum",
"yes dear"
"Muuuummm"
"Yes"
"Mum"
"I said yes??? What is the matter"

Does my head in!

Hope he is well soon and you are all back at home.