being called mum by nurses in hospital

[thecatsarecrazy]

I know its only a small thing and its probably because I've been here to long but the nurses calling me "mum" I'm not your mum, would it be so hard to learn my name? Has this annoyed anyone else?

"Please be nice to me I didn't start this thread to be kicked down sad It was a moment where I was trying to forget my problems"
[brew[ and

Congratulations OP I hope the little cutie is better soon, he is beautiful.

for you and hope Tristan is better soon. He is beautiful and that hair is amazing!

And yes I got a bit annoyed by my last day in hospital but I soon forgot about it. People need to lighten up a bit tonight.

Yanbu annoyed me every time I went to hospital to have each dc ...just found it a bit patronising

Hope your dc is ok x

I hope the aggressive posters feel ashamed of themselves.

Oh bless you OP

I work on a ward for babies aged 0-2 (I definitely recognise that breast pump) so we see a lot of new babies and it's so, so upsetting for the parents. I really hope they discover what's wrong soon

We came here to see e.n.t because we don't have one at our local hospital. He was briefly seen on Monday but I have to wait until Friday until he has a proper examination. Its been a very long and lonely week.

I hate this too. They do it at nursery and that's hardly any names to remember in comparison. I was having a conversation with my dd's key worker the other day and she said 'dad told us x and y'. Took me a minute to figure out she was talking about DH.

Hope he gets better soon OP.

I really dislike it. Not as bad as when teachers do it, or when midwives do it - the woman is their patient, FFS.

I find it tends to correlate with HCPs who tend to talk down to you and dislike it if you question anything. Not all the time, but often enough to be noticeable.

I like when HCPs use opinionated's approach if it's legitimately unreasonable to expect them to know my name or they can't get my attention another way.

All those HCPs who insist there is no other way to address patients' families - what do you do when the patients are adults?

thecats massive sympathy. Hope your DS picks up soon

My DD is on her second night but it's a bit easier when they can actually tell you what's wrong with them (she's 11)

Hope you get answers soon, being in hospital with such a little one is a scary time. Don't be afraid to let the staff know what's worrying you and ask them any questions. I have found that they will always make time to look after parents no matter what they call them.

Your boy is gorgeous. My dd was in with breathing problems that eventually resolved as they sometimes do. I'm sure that if they haven't tested him for loads of stuff, it's because they think he'll settle with some oxygen etc. If it was critical, you'd know by now. Don't be afraid to ask questions though.

Hope your son gets better very soon.

I don't think the staff mean to be patronising by calling you mum, it's probably difficult to remember everyone by name (quickly without having to check).

It's difficult and contentious to be address by name though. Should it be first name or Ms / Miss / Mrs surname? Mum will do

I think that's also a thing - 99% of the children will be there with mum and/or dad - but nurses and doctors can't be expected to know that Johnny's mum wants to be addressed as mum, Sophie's wants to be addressed as "Sophie's mum", Jack's wants to be addressed as Susan, Jamie's prefers Mrs Smith and Chloe Jackson's mum is Ms Josephs.

So much easier, and less of a minefield to stick to just talking about "mum" like it's a title - much like we refer to doctors and nurses by their title rather than their names too.

Your Tristan is beautiful, what a lovely wee lad, with great hair.
It's hellish not knowing what's wrong, but you are both in the very best place. I hope you get the answers very soon. Take care of yourself, try to eat and drink enough.

cats, he is a beautiful boy. I hope you get some answers and get home soon.

Lots of wards put the parents names up on the name board with the child's so the nurse only has to glance to be polite, perhaps you could ask this in your feedback form? It's actually put as a marker of quality care in assessment of paediatric units that wveey Me is referred to by their given name because it is really important to a lot of people.

Beautiful boy.

Wishing him better soon

As both a parent of a child with health care needs and a health care professional myself this really grates my cheese.

So my opening gambit usually is 'this is my child xxxxxxx and I am his Mum but feel free to call me Cold.

To my patients I usually ask the child themselves who they have brought with them that day and to the adult themselves what can I call them. It's usually a) their first name b) child's first name and then mum or c) Mrs/Miss Surname of choice. Rarely will they choose Mum out of choice.

Have a look at the 'don't call me mum' campaign OP.

YANBU He's a gorgeous little lady and such a fine name too, my strapping 10 year old is also a Tristan

What a gorgeous baby, get well soon Tristan. Hope you get some answers soon

Little lad* autocorrect fail, sorry!

Thank you. I've seen lots of children come in have operations and go home again and we still waiting for answers. I just want to bring my baby home.

So much easier, and less of a minefield to stick to just talking about "mum" like it's a title - much like we refer to doctors and nurses by their title rather than their names too.

And bugger how they feel about it?

I'm honestly bemused that in most situations, you need a name at all. And in non-emergency situations why 'could you remind me what you'd like me to call you?' as I've had from one or two.

It's those who insist on turning to you and saying 'now, mum' when you are the only other adult in the room /within speaking distance so there is zero need to use a name at all, who really irritate.

hellomynameis.org.uk

HCP professionals should take the time to introduce themselves. They don't need to ask you your name at this point, they could hazard a guess as to your role but would be ill advisd to assume. However, it would be a small courtesy.

Yes, busy, we should be grateful etc etc.

Two memories that I'll always carry: being called 'Mum' by doctor who delivered my still born twins. The other, despite repeatedly telling, writing down, reminding, noting etc - my frail, end of life MIL who had always gone by her 'second' name and might respond if that was used rather than the 'wrong' name they used, 'She's not responding to her name'. No shit Sherlock

Names matter, especially when you're the one feeling vulnerable.
I'm with you. Hope things pick up soon

It doesn't annoy me, but that is probably because I work in paeds and the patient (and the foremost concern I have) is the child. I talk to them, I use words they will understand. This often then extends to talking to the parents in language a 3yo would understand . You are his mum, that's what he is calling you, though he's not voicing it just yet.

I was cautioned (gently) by a very senior consultant for addressing parents by their first names - they felt it was an indication I was getting too close/attached to the baby and family, which could impact my professionalism. Not a view I necessarily agree with, but I see the thinking.

Your boy is a cutie, I hope he's well soon.