being called mum by nurses in hospital

[thecatsarecrazy]

I know its only a small thing and its probably because I've been here to long but the nurses calling me "mum" I'm not your mum, would it be so hard to learn my name? Has this annoyed anyone else?

Oh op. is hide this thread if this is the vibe this evening. Sorry you didn't get the lighthearted vibe you obviously need. I hope your dc is better soon.

Your name just isn't important. No one there cares. They're busy trying to work on your child

I can honestly say that's not true. Myself and my colleagues care a lot about all our families - it's one of the most fundamental aspects of being a Paediatric nurse. A large part of our training focuses on Family Centred Care if any children's nurse "doesn't care" about the parents and family as a unit then they're in the wrong job.

Pleas ignore the above statement OP - we do care.

I'd

I hate it too.
Best wishes to your dc.

You shouldn't worry too much, very soon they won't be allowed to call you 'Mum', you'll be 'parent'.

Get yourself a HUGE name badge 😁

Hope the little one is better soon 💐

It really annoys me too. One of my kids school teachers still does it, my son is 10!

YABU let the nurses do their work.
It's understandable that you feel tetchy being in hospital looking after your dc. I hope your dc feels better soon

Nope has never annoyed me so long as I was addressed with respected and listened to.

Hope your ds feels better soon.

This is my baby son Tristan. He's 12 days old and we have been here since Saturday. He's having breathing problems and as yet they haven't done any tests to find out why. Please be nice to me I didn't start this thread to be kicked down It was a moment where I was trying to forget my problems

THE midwife did this after I'd had DS. I'd never been called mum before by anyone, so i thought she was talking to my mum. midwife ended up making tea and toast for me and my mum.

Being in hospital with a sick child is the worst, .

I'll be honest with you, unless you are there ages, it is too hard to remember your name.

On a big ward, with patients changing every day, I don't remember the names of everyone's partners, children etc etc. In adult wards, everyone is routinely documented as son, daughter, husband etc - can be a bit of a nightmare when it turns out there is 2 daughters.

I'd guess children's wards are exactly the same.

If I know your name it's a really bad sign - your relative is v sick and has been in hospital far too long.

I agree it's irritating. You're a person, not just a mum.

Didn't mean to be narky OP. Hope your little one gets better soon and you get to see your other children. That must be hard. Chin up!

I don't like it.
YOu will get a lot of people telling you that you can't have much to worry about if it bothers you, they like it because they are proud to be a mummy, you can't expect medics to know your name and a lot of other stuff.

I didn't like it when I had a sick child and now I work with parents I make very sure that I don't call any one mum or dad. Somehow despite having a large case load I manage to avoid mumming and dadding.

If I don't know somebody's name I ask them. If I forget their name I will fess up and apologise, I will look at notes before I see a family, I will record names in notes (it is ridiculous but some systems do not have a space for recording parent's names!), if all else fails I will use 'Johnny's mother' rather than 'mum'.

There was a very long thread on MN about five years ago. Lots of parents said they didn't like it. They were told they were wrong by one or two professionals who wouldn't have it!

I hope your DC is better soon.

I have a disabled child and absolutely hate being called 'Mum' by any health professionals. Don't mind my first name, Mrs or no use of name in place.

Hope you are home soon.

Awww he is adorable Cats.
I don't think MN is capable of lightheartedness anymore.

YABU - nurses can't be expected to remember the names of all patients' parents and they always try to frame things to make their patients - the children - the focus ... so rather than coming into the treatment room where a patient is sitting with their parents and taking to Mr and Mrs Jones, or John and Sarah, they talk to "mum and dad" - language the children are famiiar with and is one less thing to stress them out over.

My nephew has just spent two weeks in hospital and they all talked to "mum" or "dad" because it's the easiest thing to do, even though on the end of the bed there's the bed info chart with a section saying "Hello my name is .... My mum and dads names are ..." and it's what most puts kids at ease especially when they were talking to the children "Has mum been helping you with your colouring?" "Are you going to sit on dad's knee while I take your temperature?" "Is it alright if mum just comes to chat to me for a minute?" "Dad could you just go to the nurses station, they need some info"

It's difficult and contentious to be address by name though. Should it be first name or Ms / Miss / Mrs surname? Mum will do. I get irrupted easily but I like being referred to as mum, i actually love it, it makes me feel important and connected to my child and respected for that role. For me it's like being addressed as my dc's advocate. BTW I am a professional and really not very twee or soppy normally but I do like being referred to as mum in a health care setting, at school etc.

Tristan is a cutie. Posts in AIBU tend to be 'fair game' for the terminally narky so don't feel downhearted if some of the responses are a bit off. Posting in Chat is generally better for lighthearted topics I find (I've been flamed a time or two!)

It would annoy me. So you have my sympathies. And it is endemic.

I don't do it (hospital paediatric doc)

However, I always introduce myself and very very few parents ever tell me who they are - I think the hospital environment and heirarchy strips all social norms. In what other situation does someone say "hello, I'm X" and the second party just nod....this makes it really hard to know what to call parents so I don't call them anything and will refer to them to other's as 'DC's Mum' which seems less bad than 'Mum'

Our trust communication training specifically highlights that some parents dislike this and I also try to educate my juniors not to do it.

Sorry OP if I was mean. Tristan is scrumptious, that hair! 💕 wishing you all the best.

A health visitor called me "Mummy" at one of my children's reviews. Luckily DH was there and stopped me going nuclear.

Sorry you are in hospital with your baby. I was in with my first two for jaundice and a cord infection. Horrible time.

Yes it feels weird in the beginning- very detached. I can understand why they do it - and now i'm so practised I introduce myself as 'I'm Mum'.

Op have they explained why they are not testing him?
They might be busy but someone should be explaining what they are doing and why.

If you have no joy call pals they are there to also advocate for people who feel they are not being listened to/understood.

As I said really hope your ds gets better soon

writer of course it isn't true! I spent years in hospital with DD. I only remember a tiny amount of staff who upset us. Probably two at the most!

I work palliative care and I know how much the staff care about the children and families. I know how much I do!