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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much your OH makes so you can be a SAHP?

382 replies

justasliver · 16/01/2017 17:58

Curious. How much does your DH (or DW!) make in order for you to stay at home and not be skint at the end of the month? I don't know how couples do it!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/01/2017 18:02

Who says SAHP families aren't skint!?

Whosthemummynow · 16/01/2017 18:02

30000

But we didn't have a lot of outgoings.

Whosthemummynow · 16/01/2017 18:03

And yes, we were pretty skint!

TheHobbitMum · 16/01/2017 18:04

I'm a SAHP and we're definitely skint by the end of the month 😂 We do have a holiday but we certainly don't have fat bank accounts and have to wait until payday for things that are needed/wanted (not food, bills etc the unexpected stuff). My DH earns £37k but we have 4 kids and it doesn't go as far as we'd like unfortunately

Chocolateorangegoblin · 16/01/2017 18:05

25,000. We manage. If I worked my wages would pretty much all go on childcare. Would rather be slightly worse off and be at home.

EssentialHummus · 16/01/2017 18:05

I think this is a "piece of string" question, OP. Depends on outgoings etc. I'm pregnant and we'd "struggle" on a salary that most on here would find mad.

OvariesForgotHerPassword · 16/01/2017 18:06

DH earns 16000. We are skint. Being a SAHP isn't choice for us :(

CalamityKit · 16/01/2017 18:06

About 18k, plus we obvs get tax credits. We are entirely skint, but happy.

DaisyQueen · 16/01/2017 18:06

About 20k after tax, not a huge sum but we get by. I think it all depends where you live. We are northeast and luckily have a council house so it's very manageable.

cherrycrumblecustard · 16/01/2017 18:07

These are quite a bit lower than I would have thought - are you entitled to TCs?

DaisyQueen · 16/01/2017 18:08

We get tax credits

AddictedtoLovely · 16/01/2017 18:08

Always skint.

AutoFillContact65 · 16/01/2017 18:09

We are Zone 2 London so have expensive outgoings. It's really about how much you want to spend and if the cost of childcare isn't more than your earnings at work, isn't it? We pay additional rate taxes so are considered high earners.

witsender · 16/01/2017 18:10

At present we earn 35k between us as we are both part time. In the past he has earned anywhere from late teens to past 50k while I was a sahm. In theory we should have saved loads on the latter salary but didn't!

We are comfortable at the moment...There is enough for all outgoing including a small mortgage overpayment, food, fuel, holiday and Christmas savings and a small debt repayment. Not much excess after that, but that's ok!

We need to work around the kids being home educated, so can't really up our hours much.

RoganJosh · 16/01/2017 18:10

Whatever your outgoings are would be about right? Smile

Cineraria · 16/01/2017 18:11

I think it depends a lot on where you live as well as what your expectations are. We're in London and DH luckily has a new job at £70,000, which means I can stay home with DS if I want.

We won't be skint if I do but will have to put off home improvements we planned to do to our scruffy kitchen and bathroom when we bought the house. That's fine with us; better than the current situation of commuting 1hr30 each way with DS in tow.

Iloveswears · 16/01/2017 18:11

Approx £60k, but when we had dc1 it was £30k. You cut your cloth accordingly. Childcare costs would eradicate my wage so it was a choice we were lucky enough to be able to make. I know friends on s similar income who couldn't afford a SAHP due to costs of debt, mortgage etc..

toolonglurking · 16/01/2017 18:11

£32k
Not entitled to anything other than child benefit.
Menu plan every week, savvy food shopping, daily activities are free and outdoors (walking, museums, etc) and I get all DS clothes as hand-me-downs.

This is all out of choice.

PhilODox · 16/01/2017 18:11

Depends on your outgoings, doesn't it?
For us, it would need to be £150k, so we both work.

lokisglowstickofdestiny1 · 16/01/2017 18:12

Depends on people's lifestyles and what they might be willing to cut back on. I wouldn't want to cut back, excess money is saved for our retirement etc so my OH would have to replace my income entirely.

Dontneedausername · 16/01/2017 18:14

70k...
Sizeable mortgage, 2 cars. No big holidays but we do go stay with his parents in Portugal for a few weeks in summer. Not really skint and generally just buy what we need, when we need it.
We live in Aberdeenshire.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 16/01/2017 18:15

My childcare bill when DC3 goes with no 2 will be £80 per day, so roughly £1600 a month. This is a decent chunk of my take home pay but even if it was all of it, I would still go to work! I love my children but being home all day is - for me- so mundane, my mental health would really suffer. I also don't want to ever be dependant on DP, if we were to separate I want to be financially independent, nor struggling on benefits etc.

OhhBetty · 16/01/2017 18:16

I wouldn’t advise being a sahp at all tbh unless there's no other option. Could pt be a compromise? Just because if the relationship goes tits up at least you'll have some employment.

Freakbag · 16/01/2017 18:16

My dh earns £60k but we only bought our 1st house last year so have a £200k mortgage, which takes a good chunk of our income.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 16/01/2017 18:17

I agree OhhBetty

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