To ask how much your OH makes so you can be a SAHP?

[justasliver]

Curious. How much does your DH (or DW!) make in order for you to stay at home and not be skint at the end of the month? I don't know how couples do it!

I became a stay at home parent and the wages don't matter. I was at college while dh worked when I got pregnant with our first so we never had two incomes so we haven't lost anything. Dh tends to get some kind of pay rise every year so if that continues as the children get older then everything's great.

My DH earned the equivalent of about £80k (when job related accommodation for the family etc taken into account) when we had our first.

I was earning about 60k and a huge chunk of that was eaten up by paying for a full time nanny and a cleaner. We debated long and hard me giving up work for 5-10 years to raise the children but in the end decided against it.

I was seriously fucking glad I hadn't given up work when I found out the bastard was cheating!

50k with 3DC in M25 area

I hate being skint so it wouldn't be for me. DH earns £50k but we couldn't have the lifestyle we want if I didn't work part time. Mortgage only £160 a month too! Christ knows where it all goes but it does.

Curious as to how you can (or indeed would want to) pay private school fees in London on £50k.

It's the mortgage / rent that makes the biggest difference. We're in the SE and you can't get anything with 2 bedrooms round here for less than £200k. If you've bought recently (last 5 years say) with a 10% deposit your mortgage repayments are going to be more than some of the pp earn!

Blimey! Quite surprised by these figures.

I'm considering going from a 50k job to a £17k one for a much wanted career change, whilst dh is on £48k.
The finances don't add up so I'm stuck in a career I dislike for the money.

We live in SW, shop in Aldi, fairly hefty mortgage (bit not fancy house £250k ish), 2 cars (needed to work), 3dc. I don't know what we're doing wrong compared to rest of you!

I've just asked my dh this question as he runs his own business and doesn't earn a wage as such. He estimates he would need to be earning the equivalent wage of £200k to afford the lifestyle we have now.

We must seem very wealthy to most people but we still have to make compromises. We live in a very large house in an expensive area but I have quite a strict housekeeping budget I have to stick to. We have kids at private school but drive relatively cars. We own a lovely holiday home in a desirable coastal area but I shop for clothes in h&m & tkmaxx.

It sounds bonkers but I feel skint a lot of the time (slaps herself)

A variety of between £10k and £20k over the years.
We just made sure we had very few outgoings as for us a sahp was essential.
Everyone is different though, it's whatever you want.
Like anything else you make sacrifices, cut cloth accordingly etc.
I work pt now but was sahm for 25 years.

For some SAHMs it's to do with not being able to afford childcare, so nothing to do with being well off.

I'd need a lottery win to seriously contemplate it, and even then I'd have to study, volunteer or do something helpful PT. Would find it unbearably stressful to have no financial independence. For a figure, due to our huge (chosen) outgoings, risk of tax rises/interest rate rises making our mortgage more expensive, we would need to clear £200k for me to even contemplate it, because after another career break (I've had 2 MLs), I'd have to start my career over.

Dp earns 22.5k a year but we have quite a lot of tax credits and carers allowance on top as ds is disabled

£28k. We are skint but paying for childcare for 3 kids would mean I worked for nothing. Plus, we would rather be skint and have me at home with the dcs while they are young.

low £30s runs two households, one runs a tight ship (mine) one is more extravagant (ex) but not by a lot of peoples standards

two cars

two children.

£2 or less per person per day food here

carers allowance. child benefit

bank of mum and dad pays for music lessons. and holiday

depends what you are used to. I was brought up with little money. had temporary contracts so got the saving habit and never had security to increase day to day spending (had holidays instead which are not feasible with dcs so not missed)
ex was often up for redundancy so we never increased day to day spending much therefore a lot of the stuff I do not miss. he misses more as he had a secure job before he was married and had little treats like coffee and takeaways and ready meals.

We'd need about 75k for me to stop working and to be at home.

It's probably doable on just one wage but it would be tight very tight. It would mean an ever more tighter food budget, we wouldn't be able to go camping in the summer etc

Saying that I would hate to give up work as much as I hate my job.

I think it depends on housing costs.

rents are silly prices.

mortgages are something you are a bit stuck with as moving incurs costs. lots of people stretch themselves to get the best house they can so there is little room for manouvre. also people have higher expectations of housing than say in the seventies when kids shared more and people losing houses in the 80s due to economy going tits up then is now long forgotten.

the crash in prices means a lot of people are trapped and only just getting out of that now.

75k basic

We live in the South East in a relatively expensive commuter town. DH earns £45k which means we cover our bills and mortgage and can have a meal out every now and then. No foreign holidays since DC1 was born three years ago and I gave up work. Definitely no frivolous spending and I'm very careful with our food and clothing budgets.

I'd actually love to work PT. However with two DC aged 2 & 3 and nursery costs of £58 per child per day, the cost of childcare would be more than I can earn so not worth it. I'm hoping I can find something when DC go to school and nursery costs won't eat up every penny I earn.

Mid to high 30s. But we live in an affordable house, and pay just over 60% of what we did renting, now we have a mortgage. So that 40% swallows up council tax and a couple of other bills, so we're better off now
Saying that, our car is on the road out and my dh needs a new van for work, but we can't afford both, so I'd say we're not rolling in it. But we're happy, and make a good team. I'm still shite at cleaning though

PaddingtontheBear I'm in the North East and it's not uncommon to see houses being let for that much (three bed terraces) in quite a few places. Ex Pit Villages with poor social mobility primarily.

And to answer the original question, 45k currently, and we manage to live quite well.

I feel for young families now. If we'd moved to our current area now, we'd never have been able to afford a house big enough to live in. Even 25 years ago we scrimped and saved to pay bills and dropped to Tesco value food at the end of each month.

"Mollyringworm Mon 16-Jan-17 20:27:24
I've just asked my dh this question as he runs his own business and doesn't earn a wage as such. He estimates he would need to be earning the equivalent wage of £200k to afford the lifestyle we have now.

We must seem very wealthy to most people but we still have to make compromises. We live in a very large house in an expensive area but I have quite a strict housekeeping budget I have to stick to. We have kids at private school but drive relatively cars. We own a lovely holiday home in a desirable coastal area but I shop for clothes in h&m & tkmaxx.

It sounds bonkers but I feel skint a lot of the time (slaps herself)"

Yep, bonkers and pig ignorant.

just under £50k here SW, 3 DC, 2 cars, big mortgage of £200k, not many holidays but usually manage something once a year.

we live relatively frugally, not food wise but we dont buy much "stuff".

We dont have any hobbies, we dont really drink, we never eat out.

We do however have a cleaner and the kids do sports.

It would cost me money to go back to work. Its not worth the hassle at the moment.

Well between the two of us we earn almost 100k - both work full time in careers. Despite our income we are JAM (Tory gov!). We have 4 fab children and I count us as the luckiest in the world (despite major illness and about to go bankrupt) We will get there!