AIBU to think I wasn't rude?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

DD is 2 and this morning threw a tantrum outside the supermarket and was refusing to go in her car seat. I was juggling shopping and keys and phone and trying to manage it all. It's fine, it happens, and I had it under control after a fashion, if you see what I mean.

An elderly woman stopped and STARED (which I hate anyway, it's so rude) but I just ignored her, thinking she'd go. She didn't. I then had this exchange where she tutted and sucked her teeth, then said, "are you all right?" I said cheerily 'yes, thanks, are you?' Which was my way of trying to get her to see all was OK. Or normal at least!

She then said to me, all of which I ignored.
"You can't get her in. You can't get her in. I'd smack her legs if she was mine. You can't get her in!" She kept doing these little titters as well which were really annoying. So in the end I just said "look, to be honest, you're not helping, can you give me a bit of space?"

DH came wandering along at that point (he'd been getting money out) and said I was rude to her! I wasn't, surely?!

God no, you were positively restrained! I'd have lost it with her in all likelyhood.

No you weren't rude at all!!! Many others (myself included) would have given her short shrift -"err do I know you? Piss off and mind your own business ya nosy mare" 😜

Nope. If you'd told her to fuck off that might have been rude but also deserved. She was the rude one, nosy interfering cow.

Not rude at all!

You wasn't rude at all. She was interfering and it doesn't matter what age she was, she was sticking her nose in.

YWNU! None of her bloody business. Well done for being so calm about it!

I do love validation! DH seemed to find it quite funny And he got DD straight in her car seat

And people who gawp when you're child is playing up are irritating bastards!

*your

So she was repeating the bleeding obvious and laughing. You were definitely restrained

Nowhere near as rude as I would have been tbf and my DH would have been more likely to have asked her what her issue was than pass comment to me

You were far more restrained than I would have been!

No you were very restrained. I don't think I would have been as restrained as you.

Some people are just odd!

DH was probably just trying to wind me up!

Ohhhhh I hate to say DD would have probably learnt some new vocabulary from me haha !
I had a similar experience the other day ,.. heading into boots and some salesman tried to stop me (8months pregnant and with DD) I said no sorry I am rushing . Then had to rush DD to the toilet and go back to finishing shopping . Come out of boots with a massive bag in my hands clearly looking like I am rushing and he stopped me again saying hey Yummy Mummy can I just have a couple of minutes ?!?!
My reply "pretty sure I said no the last time ?! I'm 8 months pregnant, have a child with me and my hands full of bags so I am pretty sure the answer is still No"
DD said I was rude and I actually still feel a little awful . I explained to DD I was stressed and had already said no once but that perhaps I shouldn't have snapped ..... awkward

Amazed you didn't tell her to fuck off. I have in similar circumstances.

I don't know what it is with some old women, and sorry but it always is old women, who make completely inappropriate comments. I don't really like having attention drawn to me anyway, but seriously who thinks openly standing in a car park STARING at a woman and her daughter is appropriate?? Sigh!

No you were not rude and people stopping to stare then advocating hitting your child ain't on, I'd have been tempted to tell her if she didn't fuck off id slap her legs. I wouldn't have though, I'd just have said it's fine i can manage it. Sigh,

You were most definitely not rude!

Not rude and very restrained, I'd have told her exactly what she could do with her unwanted 'advice' as well.

Had it outside Sainsbury's once when DD was around 3, had to drag her out the shop due to tantrum/ demanding . She decided to cling on to a bollard outside the shop . I was trying to get her off without having a complete breakdown .... first old women saying I was awful and horrible for trying to pull her off .... second one comes along after and says omg I would slap her for behaving like that !!
Two extremely opposite judgements from two old women in less than 5 minutes . Gotta love life ha !

You need to develop your own slightly psychopathic stare ( mum of an SN child here ).

You weren't rude, but from the way she behaved, I think you should consider that there's a significant chance that she's suffering dementia. It certainly wasn't reasonable behaviour, but from my own experiences, it sounds like classic dementia.

I once had completely the opposite reaction and it was lovely: DS1 was having a tantrum in the supermarket and I was trying to calm him, when an elderly woman approached me. I thought she was going to remonstrate with me, but instead she put her hand on my arm and said, "You're doing a great job and he'll grow out of this stage, you know!" Such a wonderful thing to say and made me feel so much better.