AIBU to think I wasn't rude?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

DD is 2 and this morning threw a tantrum outside the supermarket and was refusing to go in her car seat. I was juggling shopping and keys and phone and trying to manage it all. It's fine, it happens, and I had it under control after a fashion, if you see what I mean.

An elderly woman stopped and STARED (which I hate anyway, it's so rude) but I just ignored her, thinking she'd go. She didn't. I then had this exchange where she tutted and sucked her teeth, then said, "are you all right?" I said cheerily 'yes, thanks, are you?' Which was my way of trying to get her to see all was OK. Or normal at least!

She then said to me, all of which I ignored.
"You can't get her in. You can't get her in. I'd smack her legs if she was mine. You can't get her in!" She kept doing these little titters as well which were really annoying. So in the end I just said "look, to be honest, you're not helping, can you give me a bit of space?"

DH came wandering along at that point (he'd been getting money out) and said I was rude to her! I wasn't, surely?!

Op I dont think you were rude but what you dont seem to know is that elderly peoples brain function can reduce and they can genuinely say rude things without realising they have done it. Your description sounds exactly like this as any ordinary and healthy person would know that her behaviour was intrusive and inappropriate. I suppose I am making a plea for us to have compassion before we judge as one day it could be us or our Mums who are doing this.

Obviously old people can be twats, Trainspotting. But, self-evidently, so can young and middle aged people. The age of the person in your story is totally irrelevant to her rudeness.

I find the opposite where I live. I had the most wonderful older lady sit next to me on a packed bus while Dd(then 1.5) had an absolute screaming meltdown. She was lovely and kept saying ignore everyone else that was staring while she tried to calm dd down.
She was an absolute godsend.

No!
I probably would have said 'I'll smack your fucking legs in a minute' haha

You didn't seem rude to me. In spite of other people, I do think the older generation generally have a different view on how to discipline children. That's fine of course, but it is a bit annoying trying to explain that you do things differently.