DH can't even look up from computer game...

[user1473602935]

Just got home from friends birthday

OH is playing a game on the iPad and can't even look up to ask how my ever

Posted too soon! Anyway you get the gist. I find this infuriating. If I'm engrossed in something when he comes in I'll always press pause and chat

AIBU!

I am a gamer when I am glued into a game I can not just pause as I play real time games.

To be honest yeah, you are. I don't feel the need to ask someone "how was your day/evening" etc every time they come home from somewhere and i'd find being asked every single time myself annoying TBH. I am also a gamer and sometimes my dad comes in when i'm mid game i can't pause and with either a headset on or trying to listen to the tv and trys telling me something, and i say "i can't hear you and can't pause right now, wait a minute" but he ne ver does, then gets annoyed i haven't heard what hes said.

Yanbu ! I would be annoyed. Gamer or not I think it's polite to acknowledge someone and ask them how they are. I don't think playing games are an excuse to ignore your family irl!

Rude as feck.

Sometimes in a game you simply cannot pause.
Either there's no pause function.
Or the pause at that critical time means death. Not all games have auto save function and that pause can result in going back to the beginning of a level, even more
Frustrating when you barely survived the thirty thousand times before and it's only by
Some fluke you can see the next save point. Yes chances are you wouldn't have made that leap/survived that battle on the pinhead amount of health. But in that moment you have to believe you will make it.

YABU. If he normally is sociable, why did he have to have small talk when you get in? As others say you can't pause most games.

Or you could just spend time with your nearest and dearest in real life , even if that's just saying hi how are you when they walk in? I cannot see for one second how a game , however good, is more important than someone in the room with you? Game is not an excuse

If you've never been engrossed in anything then you won't understand.
It's like reading a book and you get to that moment and someone comes along in rl. For that tiny selfish moment you want to know that thing.
Or your writing an essay/dissertation/book you are in the zone and ideas are there and your trying to quickly jot them down before they disappear like a puff of smoke.
Or that moment in a film and you don't have pause and rewind.

Of course people want to be sociable.but sometimes for that selfish moment they want to finish what they are doing before getting into a full conversation with someone.
Because let's be honest. How's our day is never a quick 20 second conversation.

I've been engrossed in books. I've got two degrees so written enough essays and dissertations. Hell I've even played computer games or watched good films. Nope. I can also acknowledge people !

Rude as fuck. A personal conversation and relationship is more important than a game.

It's not rude.

When I am on eve online people rely on me as I am FC many millions will be lost. It takes months and months to build a corp and alliance, then own sov.

Lucky for me DH and I run it together. We are recovering from a major loss ATM.

I can't just pause the game when super capitals and citadels are being attacked.

I still don't get how you couldn't also say hi how was your night !

Depends. If it's Candy Crush, he's being U.

If it's a live action type and he's really into it and it's important to him (yes, I know but it can be a hobby) you are being U.

DH plays CoD and he enjoys it and it's a silly diversion. If he interrupted me doing something I love I'd be peeved so why should I judge him? I just say, "tell me when there's a break".

I think it also depends on whether he's a committed, present, loving partner the rest of the time...

Because I am in the middle of a battle. Titan pilots take years to get into that ship, my corp members and alliance trust my judgement.

I can't break communication with them.

If I am ratting or mining, then of course I can warp out and speak to who ever.

Yes it would be nice if he asked about your evening, but YABU to expect him to drop what he's doing to do so the second you walk in, esp if he's playing a live action game where he can't just pause it for a minute or two!

You've been out all evening, doing your own thing uninterrupted, so why do you expect your DH to interrupt what he is doing just because you chose that moment to return and want his full attention?

YABU. If DH was out for the evening and I was engrossed in a game or film when he walked through the door, I don't see why I should make a song and dance just because he's back. Especially if I couldn't rewind/pause it.

Eve I was also a gamer before I had children (no time now, sob) and there were times when I hadn't even realised that DH had left the house. I'd phone him and it turns out he left an hour ago and he said goodbye but I ignored him luckily he never saw it as rude or dismissive! I'd have been very if he'd have expected me to stop a game simply to wave him off like a 50s house wife

Also

What would be an acceptable hobby then if gaming isn't one?

Embroidery or weaving lentils.

You are being a bit u here. I am not a gamer, other than candy crush, but am a knitter. I won't answer if I am deep in a cable pattern counting stitches.

yabu, and needy. Just say HI and talk to him later.

Why does he need to ask you how it was?

tbh, my dh wouldn't care i was busy and would just start talking at me about what he's been up to, then get pissed off i was ignoring him.

Do you think like he does? That because you've been out that what you've been doing is more important than what he is doing?

I hate that shit.. i'm a roleplayer, i do online live RPG stuff, i need to concentrate if i'm doing something as part of a group who're mid story... you don't get to tell me to stop what i'm doing just because you just came home.

Wait your fucking turn. You wouldn't do it if he were on a phonecall would you?

This thread makes me feel old. My idea of a computer game is Sonic the Hedgehog! All this talk of titan pilots, alliances and citadels is like another language.

I don't think YABU OP, but maybe I just don't understand these types of games.