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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To plan not to have a Christmas baby?

357 replies

XanaduBubbles · 23/11/2016 07:04

My partner and I are going to start trying for our second in the new year, however I think that if we don't get pregnant right away (before February) we should wait until May to avoid having a Christmas / New Year baby, basically because I've known friends with birthdays around then and they always resent it (fewer presents, people forget, nothing to look forward to the rest of the year, total first world problems I know).

Aibu thinking like this? Am I just over thinking?

OP posts:
ftmsoon · 23/11/2016 07:07

I don't think it's daft, I don't want an August baby. But I think it's probably best to keep it very much between the two of you. People will take offence, you could take years to get pregnant and in the end just not care any more, you may get pregnant at the 'wrong' time accidentally and people will gloat.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 23/11/2016 07:08

Not unreasonable, I have similar concerns due to 7 family birthdays in December!

macaronip1e · 23/11/2016 07:09

I think you're overthinking it. I have a mid Dec birthday - I never feel forgotten. I have plenty to look forward to through out the year and then LOVE December.

PotteringAlong · 23/11/2016 07:09

I think you are being unreasonable and unrealistic if you think you can plan it that minutely anyway.

Normandy144 · 23/11/2016 07:10

No I don't think that's unreasonable at all and did the same for our second child too. I like you know lots of people with December and early January birthdays which they hate so decided we would avoid it if we could for our. Hold. We have a mid February one instead, so still not.sure if that is any better but it seems suitably far enough away from the festive season.

Lookinatu · 23/11/2016 07:10

I think you should try whenever is easier for you but having a Xmas baby would not make it any less special in your eyes! I have two August children I did not plan this but as I have pcos and struggled to conceive you are happy either way. Good luck op Smile

FourToTheFloor · 23/11/2016 07:12

Yanbu. I said the same for dd2 as dd1 was due early Jan and I really didn't want her born on Christmas day due to an ex who had his birthday then and it was shit for him.

Thankfully dd1 came end of Jan Smile

Vinorosso74 · 23/11/2016 07:13

I don't think it's uneeasonable (if only to make it less chaotic and expensive for you!) but as a PP says keep it between the two of you. A friend told me about someone she knows who planned September babies "so they would be ahead at school" . This however I felt unreasonable.

Jaimx86 · 23/11/2016 07:14

Like Macaroni, I LOVE my December birthday! I'm so excited for next month, as it'll be packed with birthday celebrations that lead straight into Christmas festivities.

eurochick · 23/11/2016 07:14

If you are lucky enough to be able to plan things that way then go for it. I wanted to avoid an August due date so we waited a month to ttc. Three years and four rounds of IVF later I gave less of a shit and ended up with a due date of 28 August!

RentANDBills · 23/11/2016 07:15

What's wrong with having August babies?

Blueredballoon · 23/11/2016 07:17

I think so what you want, but as a family with Dec, Aug and January birthdays, it all works out in the end. There's only so far planning will get you!

LikeBigBotsAndICannotLie · 23/11/2016 07:17

No, I don't think it is unreasonable. My DD is just before, it has never been an issue for her, she feels extra spoiled, it does cause alot of issues re parties etc when they are younger. No-one ever refused an invite when we did have a party for her, but it didn't stop the guilt of having one and expecting people to think they had to get a gift and be somehwere at that time of year, likely on a weekend when they might need that time more themselves. It is not unreasonable, but it doesn't ruin it for them, well not my DD's.

Trifleorbust · 23/11/2016 07:17

About to have a December baby but no, I don't think you are being unreasonable - as long as you are happy with your fertility, why not try to plan what suits you?

inmyeyes · 23/11/2016 07:17

We definitely planned it so I wouldn't be due over Christmas. However this was nothing to do with future birthdays - I have an early Jan birthday myself and have no issues with it. But things can shut down over Christmas or fewer staff are on etc and I would think this can make some services or support more difficult to obtain if it's needed. It'd also impact on my ability to enjoy Christmas or make it fun for my toddler as either heavily pregnant or with a newborn would be no fun.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 23/11/2016 07:18

I have a Christmas birthday and deliberately planned NOT to do the same for my kids. I hate it. Even as an adult most of my friends are never here as it's in the Christmas new year gap so they all visit family. If I want to do something I have to do it in January when everyone is skint and doesn't want to go out. SadI gave up celebrating long ago.

finova · 23/11/2016 07:18

I avoided June, July and August. Just so first 2 or so years at school were easier. I keep it quiet though.
Mine are Dec, Feb and am due in April though so it's just personal preference around when to avoid.
Lots of winter bugs in Dec which isn't ideal.

I had no difficulty conceiving, if I did I wouldn't miss months out.

heron98 · 23/11/2016 07:19

What's wrong with August? My birthday's in August and I love it - generally nice weather, nice places to go and celebrate outside etc.

ConkerTriumphant · 23/11/2016 07:20

January due baby who came on Christmas Day here!
She's a teenager now and she has always loved her Christmas birthday

ByeByeLilSebastian · 23/11/2016 07:20

Totally up to you but it's really hard to plan for it, you may even get to the point where a baby at any time would be amazing.

Fwiw Christmas birthdays aren't that bad. If I had another child I would try and aim not to have them in the summer.

HopperBusTicket · 23/11/2016 07:20

Like eurochick we had fertility problems and have ended up with two August babies. I'm certainly glad we didn't skip a month to avoid an August baby (particularly our eldest who was naturally conceived after 2 years TTC) because we probably wouldn't have him at all. If you're early days TTC and not aware of any fertility problems then it's not unreasonable though.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 23/11/2016 07:20

August I'm assuming has to do with kids being a year younger than others in the same class.

Thegirlinthefireplace · 23/11/2016 07:21

Well I have an August baby and a December baby and I would say the December baby, 10 now, loves his Xmas birthday (23rd) and we mak sure he gets stuff mid year that he can earn (eg for martial arts grading that sort of thing).

The August baby is more of an issue as she is struggling a bit in school but hoping she will catch u.

Thegirlinthefireplace · 23/11/2016 07:24

Sorry didn't really answer the question but obviously plan to conceive your baby whenever you want, it's your business.

BreatheDeep · 23/11/2016 07:24

It was my plan too to not have a December baby. Don't think there's any harm in trying to decide when you want baby due. But I'm 38 weeks pregnant...... So just bear in mind sometimes things don't happen as planned!

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