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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To plan not to have a Christmas baby?

357 replies

XanaduBubbles · 23/11/2016 07:04

My partner and I are going to start trying for our second in the new year, however I think that if we don't get pregnant right away (before February) we should wait until May to avoid having a Christmas / New Year baby, basically because I've known friends with birthdays around then and they always resent it (fewer presents, people forget, nothing to look forward to the rest of the year, total first world problems I know).

Aibu thinking like this? Am I just over thinking?

OP posts:
MavolioBent · 23/11/2016 07:53

Ds2 is ChrDs3 arrived on Jan 1st but he's happy and I made sure his birthday is his day but he loves the excitement of it all and feeling special at this time of year. Yes its not ideal as I have 4 dc and its an expensive time of year but he's happy and it sort of adds to the magic :)

Ds3 was a surprise baby and I fell pregnant around May. Due date was end of Jan and all other dc were late. So we thought we were safe from another Christmas baby. Ds3 arrived on Jan 1st. That's much harder as all the fun is over.

RestlessTraveller · 23/11/2016 07:54

YANBU I was a Christmas baby. I hated it as a kid. I hate it now. It's crap.

CongresswomanCaveMum · 23/11/2016 07:55

Trifle, the poster that wrote that was not saying that the OP can't/shouldn't choose when to have a baby, but more stating that it's not always that simple. For many of us we don't get to "choose" when we conceive, fertility is not as simple as that.

Meluzyna · 23/11/2016 07:55

I "chose" to avoid certain times of the year on purpose and it worked for me... but I have never, ever told anyone, not even the kids' father!

SweepTheHalls · 23/11/2016 07:55

Not unreasonable, but probably unrealistic. We started with the same idea, but we're not particularly fertile so with 9 months and 2 and half years to conceive them ended up with 30 Dec and 1 Jan!

Hoppinggreen · 23/11/2016 07:55

Seems reasonable to me, I've got 2 Xmas babies!!
However, I was going to have a September baby but Mc and then got pg very quickly by accident and number 2 was 17 days late so you can plan but no guarantees.

Honeyandfizz · 23/11/2016 07:58

Ds was due 18th Jan, had to be induced due to problems on 27th December. He is 12 this year and absolutely loves his birthday. We always ensure he has as many gifts as dd on her September birthday and usually have the family round for a party on the day.

I would rather have a Christmas birthday as everyone is still full of the joys of it than Jan/Feb when people are depressed!

GU24Mum · 23/11/2016 07:59

My DS is an earlyish in December baby... but he and quite a few of his Nov & Dec friends were due in January so if you really want to avoid a particular month, make sure you give it a wide enough berth!

Buddahbelly · 23/11/2016 07:59

Why shouldn't they choose when it happens? The OP doesn't think it's a right, she is just suggesting they stop trying at a particular point in the year. Hardly unreasonable for her to make decisions about her sex life.

I never said she was BU to make decisions when to avoid, I said she was BU to think it can just happen when she picks and chooses.

As someone who's spent 3+ years trying to concieve I honestly couldn't care less whether my child was born on christmas day or not. In the grand scheme of things there's much more important things to worry about when pregnant than when is the perfect birthday.

GnomeDePlume · 23/11/2016 08:00

YANBU if this is something which matters to you.

I have an early January birthday and really dont like it. Everyone is just going back to work, no money and starting their New Year diets.

The August baby thing is certainly not a myth, there has been plenty of research into it:

A few years ago, Cambridge Assessment (an exam board) carried out a major overview and concluded that summer babies were "strongly disadvantaged" and that evidence of this age-related gap "stared out of qualifications data".

By the end of primary school the difference on average is 12%, a substantial difference in the data-obsessed measurement of primary school performance.

An analysis of more than half a million GCSE candidates found a consistent pattern of summer-birthday teenagers performing less well across all subjects.

A Freedom of Information request this year showed that the chance of going to Oxford or Cambridge was 30% higher for someone born in the autumn rather than July.

SatsukiKusakabe · 23/11/2016 08:00

I chose to avoid Christmas - she was due at the end of January, came two days after Christmas, so do you what you want, but it may not work out Grin

I think you are not alone in thinking that way - I had the full attention of the Senior midwife, could stay overnight if I wanted, was on a lovely quiet ward with two other women (one of whom had actually come back in with feeding problems with a slightly older baby) it was a lovely atmosphere and I have no regrets (and no choice really!)

Yes it is more expensive and a bit full on - it is only her third so I don't know how it will affect her yet, but the other day she asked about her birthday and I said it is two days after Christmas and she said yippee!! So I think it is what you make it. She has not been forgotten so far, and older one is jealous she gets double the presents!

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 23/11/2016 08:01

I dont think its unreasonable but as someone said earlier i would keep quiet about it in case it desont work or it takes you a while

We tried for nearly 2years for ds1 and by that time i was just pleased he turned up

He was born on the 3rd ofjan and dd on the 19th of December. Ironically its ds2s birthday which gets missed as its miles away from christmas Grin

Trifleorbust · 23/11/2016 08:03

Congress: I think the OP understands that there are no guarantees. She talks about trying for a baby, not getting pregnant.

Trifleorbust · 23/11/2016 08:04

I never said she was BU to make decisions when to avoid, I said she was BU to think it can just happen when she picks and chooses.

Does she think this?

Original poster
XanaduBubbles · 23/11/2016 08:04

@thegirlinthefireplace I like the idea that he can still have a way to get stuff in the middle of the year too, helps space it out a bit for him :) I'm glad he likes having a birthday near christmas :)

OP posts:
BakeOffBiscuits · 23/11/2016 08:05

Dd LOVES her Christmas birthday.

When she was younger she thought all the Xmas lights and decorations were for her birthdayGrin

But it is an extra thing to think about for you at Xmas (I actually have my mum, sister, 2 nieces and a goddaughter in Dec too) so yanbu if that's how you feel. But you may not care if you don't get pregnant very quickly. It took me 13 months with dd and by then I didn't give a damn when her birthday was!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/11/2016 08:06

I planned for certain times of the year - not Christmas and not august - but in the end just wanted to have a baby so stopped planning the birth date.

Ds1 was due 1st January and was a week late on 8th January. I'm glad he wasn't a week early. But 8th January has worked out fine.

AnnaT45 · 23/11/2016 08:07

Neither of mine were planned. I have a Christmas and August baby. In the scheme of things it's only one day and don't think it massively matters.
If it were me I'd struggle to stop for three months once I'd made the decision to try!

Original poster
XanaduBubbles · 23/11/2016 08:07

@trifleorbust hello, I was very fortunate to get pregnant with our first very quickly, and while I know there's no guarantees, if we're as lucky this time I'd just like to avoid trying in Feb/march/April is all. Of course the most important thing is a healthy happy baby whenever he /she arrives!

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 23/11/2016 08:11

Of course, OP, I totally get it.

Tootsiepops · 23/11/2016 08:13

YANBU, but I will admit to feeling vastly a little bit jealous of people with no fertility issues who get to even mull these things over. Totally my issue though. Hope all goes well OP!

KayTee87 · 23/11/2016 08:14

August I'm assuming has to do with kids being a year younger than others in the same class.

^not in Scotland.

Op yanbu but as others have said don't tell anyone in real life...

lonelystarbuckslover · 23/11/2016 08:17

All of this stuff is beyond anyone's control. There's no bad time of year to have a baby - there's pluses and minuses to it all I'm sure - some people hate the thought of being heavily pregnant in 'summer' or of having a newborn in winter or a youngest in class or whatever but those things aren't important in the scheme of things.

My DN was born on Christmas Day and sister has no end of people sneering that she 'didn't plan it very well' so she tends to just fire back 'well, we did attempt the other months up to then but nothing doing' - 2 years TTC, she definitely wasn't bothered what day he popped up on. We absolutely adore having him having been born at Christmas and we make such a fuss of him, and we always will.

I will always hold the trump card anyway - I'm a Leap Year baby so at least he gets a blooming birthday.

Original poster
XanaduBubbles · 23/11/2016 08:23

@lonelystarbuckslover lol awww hun! At least you age a lot slower than the rest of us ;) I'm glad you make a fuss of your sons birthday, I sadly know people with birthdays around Christmas where they were only allowed one big present that was for christmas and birthday, or Christmas just usurped their birthday, or people genuinely forgot because so much other stuff was going on. I think it all depends on the kind of family and friends you have; if we did have a Christmas baby, it would of course still be spoilt rotten :)

For those asking why we don't start trying now... I was pregnant last Christmas, and this year I'd like to enjoy some cocktails and pate!! :)

OP posts:
Shutupanddance1 · 23/11/2016 08:26

I've at least 5 birthdays in one week in January Shock handy though as all the shops have sales so it works out well Smile

My birthday is early August and I had my baby in mid July - I've a masters degree so I honestly think it's not important Grin