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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask party attendees to bring a pack lunch?

180 replies

cakedup · 05/04/2016 00:00

Taking DS (11) and five of his friends out for the day for his birthday. We will be taking public transport (1 hour journey) and when we get to the venue, the kids will be taking part in an activity lasting 3 hours - similar to paint-balling. Then we will have the birthday tea before heading home.

Originally, my mum was supposed to come but is not well. This means I will have to carry all the party food including the cake myself. I was discussing with a friend about how much I need to bring and how best to carry it etc. and she thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask everyone to bring a throwaway pack lunch to eat on the journey there. This would give me less to carry and would also ensure the kids get a lunch they will definitely like and eat. I would only then have to provide the birthday tea.

But I feel VERY rude asking the parents to provide a pack lunch for a birthday party! WIBU to ask this? How would you feel if you were asked?

OP posts:

Mummyme1987 · 05/04/2016 00:02

Can you not host lunch at yours before you leave?

RudeElf · 05/04/2016 00:02

I think you could carry enough for 7 people tbh. Two rucksacks would do it. I'd find it odd to be asked to send a packed lunch. I would do it, but i'd find it odd.

TheSpottedZebra · 05/04/2016 00:03

It's a bit rude.
Surely if they're eating in the way there, you could manage to carry the lunch for a bit?
Or maybe ask your DS to carry a bag. Or some of the other kids.

GraysAnalogy · 05/04/2016 00:04

I would do lunch bags for each person that they can carry themselves. I wouldnt expect someone coming to a party to bring their own food. You can make it really cheap that way!

BlackeyedSusan · 05/04/2016 00:06

packed lunch is ok. ask the parents, explain you are carrying the birthday tea and if the children could eat before the trip or bring a packed lunch as you can not carry any more. It is more of a trip out than a party.

bluespiral · 05/04/2016 00:06

I'd think it a bit odd if I was asked to provide a lunch tbh.

Crabbitface · 05/04/2016 00:06

Make up packed lunches and give them to each kid to carry in their own bags.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 05/04/2016 00:06

It might be a bit odd.

Where are you meeting? Perhaps you could give them each a bag with their own lunch to carry. They could still eat it on the journey.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 05/04/2016 00:09

I'm with the make up the packed lunches and get the kids to carry them brigade.

I would think it a bit odd to be asked to provide my own. Also, the children are old enough to help carry everything.

TowerRavenSeven · 05/04/2016 00:09

Can you purchase meals there? If not I'd just bring them. Just divide it in smaller bags and get the kids to help you. They are almost teenagers.

IHaveBrilloHair · 05/04/2016 00:10

Agree with others, do a bag for each guest and get them to carry it.

NightWanderer · 05/04/2016 00:12

Is there a supermarket near the venue where you can pop in and buy some things while they are doing the activity? If there is then I'd just get the cake there too, save you carrying everything. I think with 11 year olds a selection of food would be better than individual packed lunches as they can be picky. Just buy paper plates, cups etc.

frazzled74 · 05/04/2016 00:12

Is the birthday tea provided or do you have to carry it?

RudeElf · 05/04/2016 00:12

I got these square box shaped coolbags in PoundLand. They are lunch bags with a strap and insulated. I think they were 2 for £1 but this was a few years ago. They Have their summer stuff in now so you could have a look and see if they have anything that would do.

neonshine · 05/04/2016 00:13

It's not something I would do myself. I would feel that I've invited them out and need to cater for them.
On the other hand, if it were my child invited out and you made the request to bring a packed lunch, I would think it a bit odd but send it anyway knowing that my child would have a great time out enjoying himself. I wouldn't give much thought to it afterwards,

CodyKing · 05/04/2016 00:13

Can you ask another parent to halo with lifts? A seven seater friend would be a good option and company for you too.

Mummyme1987 · 05/04/2016 00:14

Can you get pizza delivered there?

Chippednailvarnish · 05/04/2016 00:15

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

But if you are worried could you order pizza to the venue?

Chippednailvarnish · 05/04/2016 00:15

x post!

Kaddy · 05/04/2016 00:19

I wouldn't think it the least bit odd, I'm really surprised that do. Many other posters do.

PerspicaciaTick · 05/04/2016 00:20

Provide them with lunch, but get them to carry it themselves?

BackInTheRealWorld · 05/04/2016 00:22

What perspicaca said.

Original poster

cakedup · 05/04/2016 00:22

The kids are mostly year 6, so age 10 - 11 and one age 8 who is staying with us. Yes, the kids can help, although I need to bear in mind that the 12 min walk (including 3 flights of stairs) to the train station will be just me and DS and his younger friend.

I did the exact same event last year but probably over did it on the food, I just remember me and my mum carrying a lot between us and just managing it but again - I probably over did it. I think I even brought along activities for the train journey! I won't be doing that this year (have mentioned that DS will be bringing his nintendo and a spare but that's it).

I'd rather not Mummyme1987 to be honest. I think if I'm taking the kids out for a whole day, then I'd like to at least have the one advantage of coming back to a clean and tidy house.

Re making lunch bags for each person - I'd find it that quite difficult to be honest, how do I know what sandwiches etc. everyone likes? Really don't want to open a can of worms by asking either and ending up with 6 different pack lunches to make. Easier to make an assortment of stuff they can pick and choose from. However, will give them their own drinks to carry, that will help!

They do sell pizza there TowerRavenSeven but I am already over budget and trying to cut down costs.

OP posts:

Original poster

cakedup · 05/04/2016 00:23

No NightWanderer it's in the middle of nowhere!

OP posts:

BackforGood · 05/04/2016 00:23

I think if you bill it as 'taking them out for the day' rather than 'come to a party' then it feels different.
However, not sure why they need 2 meals if you are going to be out for 5 hours. Surely the answer is to either eat lunch before you all set off, or not have tea if you are taking a packed lunch. Or, if you want a cake and candles, just do that bit once you get home. Seems a bit daft to be lugging all that with you.

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