to ask party attendees to bring a pack lunch?

[cakedup]

Taking DS (11) and five of his friends out for the day for his birthday. We will be taking public transport (1 hour journey) and when we get to the venue, the kids will be taking part in an activity lasting 3 hours - similar to paint-balling. Then we will have the birthday tea before heading home.

Originally, my mum was supposed to come but is not well. This means I will have to carry all the party food including the cake myself. I was discussing with a friend about how much I need to bring and how best to carry it etc. and she thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask everyone to bring a throwaway pack lunch to eat on the journey there. This would give me less to carry and would also ensure the kids get a lunch they will definitely like and eat. I would only then have to provide the birthday tea.

But I feel VERY rude asking the parents to provide a pack lunch for a birthday party! WIBU to ask this? How would you feel if you were asked?

[GeezAJammyPeece]

If my DS was one of your invitees, I'd have no problem sending him with a packed lunch. You are taking them out for pretty much the whole day, are paying for the activity as well as covering birthday tea (& transport?) and I would think nothing of it if you asked me to supply a lunch.

However, only letting them know the day before that this is required isn't great, so I'd make sure explain its down to logistics as your helper monkey has taken ill.

I don't drive and sometimes it doesn't occur to friends who drive that if we are doing X, I can't reasonably manage to lug a,b&c on the bus, even though they can just chuck it in the car boot .


As for making up lunches yourself?
There have been loads of sensible suggestions

One bag each with a sandwich, a juice carton, fruit, crisps.... Include a variety of 'standard' fillings & flavours and tell them to trade any they don't fancy.

I love the sandwich loaf idea someone mentioned.

Hot dogs in a flask of hot water stay warm for ages.

Individual packed lunches could be packed together and your boys in charge of those until you get to train station, then distributed.

Make sure there's an extra large bar of in yours, and a waiting for when you get home!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!!

[FruityDelicious]

I think it's rude too. If you can't afford or can't make the effort don't host such an event.

[rainbowunicorn]

How on earth is it rude to ask people to bring along a packed lunch to an all day activity. The OP is paying for them to go there on public transport, paying the cost of the activity and hosting a Birthday tea with cake etc. To be honest I would not see something like this as any different to cubs, scouts etc where they go on trips to various places and we send along a packed lunch.
As to the poster who would be concerned about only one adult supervising, are you serious. All apart from one of these children are of secondary school age and should be perfectly able to get on and off a train and walk a short distance with no problems. Most probably already do this on a fairly frequent basis. These are not 6 year olds we are talking about.
Mumsnet never fails to amaze me with some of the weird ideas you see.

[PuntasticUsername]

You need a nice wheely draggy shopping trolley like what I've got. Fill it with lunch, and it folds up when empty. Manageable on public transport too (though may make you slightly unpopular in rush hour).

I agree, I'd find it a bit weird to be asked to send my kid with a lunch - though I would do so without comment, as I'd assume you must have a good reason for asking.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

How on earth is it rude to ask people to bring along a packed lunch to an all day activity. The OP is paying for them to go there on public transport, paying the cost of the activity and hosting a Birthday tea with cake etc. To be honest I would not see something like this as any different to cubs, scouts etc where they go on trips to various places and we send along a packed lunch

I agree completely.

all I would do would he give an early lunch perhaps a bigger lunch than usual and shove a couple of cereal bars in their bag or a pasty or something.

I certainly wouldn't expect the poor sod in charge to he dragging party food on the bus/train.

only on MN is feeding your own child considered rude

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

TBH, if one of mine had been invited to an activity, and the transport (public/lift/bus/whatever) was leaving at 2pm, I would expect to give them an early lunch beforehand - I certainly wouldn't be expecting them to be given a lunch on the way to the party.

If the invitation said snacks and a drink on the way there, that is all I would expect.

[NightWanderer]

The OP said they were meeting at 12pm. So, around lunchtime but the event starts at 2pm so a packed lunch on the train sounds perfect.

[sofato5miles]

What a lot of special snowflakes. I absolutely wouldn't mind being asked to pack a sandwich with my child. Especially in the context you describe.

[SpidersFromMars]

I see no problem asking the guests to pack themselves lunch. The packed lunch is on the train en-route. It's not the birthday event.

[origamiwarrior]

"My mum has pulled out which limits how much I can carry on the train so please could you ensure the kids eat before we meet at 12 pm (or bring a packed lunch); I will of course have snacks and drinks for the journey. Birthday tea as planned at the venue before travelling home"

[GeezAJammyPeece]

FruityDelicious Tue 05-Apr-16 10:05:12
I think it's rude too. If you can't afford or can't make the effort don't host such an event.

Seriously???!!? She is transporting a bunch of his mates by train, to a big activity, and feeding them afterwards ON HER OWN; all of which she is funding.
If that's not making an effort, I'd love to hear what you think constitutes an acceptable amount of effort

[Cloudhopping]

I really would not have an issue with providing a packed lunch for my child under these circumstances. You are taking them out for most of the day and providing tea. I think you're overthinking it and worrying too much. Any parent who thinks this is rude would be mad! They should be grateful that their child is invited to such a great day out!

[morningtoncrescent62]

Well maybe things have changed since mine were that age, but I certainly would have provided a packed lunch if asked and it wouldn't have seemed odd or rude in the least - I simply wouldn't have thought twice about it. As PPs have said, you're taking the kids out for the day, and it's no big deal for their parents to pack them lunch to eat on the way. I hope your DS enjoys his birthday.

[HeilandMoo]

FruityDelicious Tue 05-Apr-16 10:05:12
I think it's rude too. If you can't afford or can't make the effort don't host such an event.

Be great to know what you think making an "effort" looks like in the context of this "event" I think the OP is hosting a great experience.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

"The OP said they were meeting at 12pm. So, around lunchtime but the event starts at 2pm so a packed lunch on the train sounds perfect."

Thanks, NightWanderer - that'll teach me to read more carefully.

[Crabbitface]

If the individual packed lunch thing is a no go (and I can see your point about likes and dislikes) then yeah...go for asking them to bring their own. It wouldn't bother me at all.

[JakeBallardswife]

Bringing their own lunch should be no issue. Parents likely to be so pleased their Dc are off for the day a packed lunch is an easy thing for them to provide.

[BloodyDogHairs]

If you were taking my child for 7 hour's I would have no problem providing a packed lunch.

[ILovePies]

I would not find it rude being asked at all. Just text them and let them know your mum has had to drop out and if they could provide lunch for their children it would be a massive help :)
Hope you all have a lovely day x

[boodles]

I would just send a quick text reminding parents that there will only be snacks before the event and so if they could give them an early lunch that would be fab, thanks.

I wouldn't even think about a packed lunch at all.

[Tryingtostayyoung]

I would have absolutely no issue sending my child with a packed lunch especially if someone was taking them out for the whole day on an activity that I'm sure they'll love!! As previous posters have said I would just say that the person who was meant to be helping you is unwell and now you'll have too much stuff to carry on your own!! As long as I had a little bit of notice i wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.

[SylviaWrath]

I don't see a problem....EXCEPT its tomorrow? And you are working all day and don't have time to go to shops for supplies (unless I read that wrong?)
Maybe the people you want to bring a packed lunch tomorrow might not be able to get to the shops either? I hope you decided hours ago and at least gave them some notice. I wouldn't find it rude to be asked for a packed lunch, unless you left it very last minute and made it a big arse for me (eg if I were one of the parents I would have to take all the children inc the sleeping baby to the shop a 20 min walk away, buy supplies, walk back etc) and I wouldn't appreciate it then.

[derxa]

Hope it goes well. This has been one of the most annoying threads ever. Sorry

[kali110]

fruity are you serious? The op isn't making an effort??
My god have you actually read the thread?

If this was me and any parents were rude it would be the last time i took their kids anywhere.

[0hCrepe]

Yanbu. It's absolutely fine.