to ask party attendees to bring a pack lunch?

[cakedup]

Taking DS (11) and five of his friends out for the day for his birthday. We will be taking public transport (1 hour journey) and when we get to the venue, the kids will be taking part in an activity lasting 3 hours - similar to paint-balling. Then we will have the birthday tea before heading home.

Originally, my mum was supposed to come but is not well. This means I will have to carry all the party food including the cake myself. I was discussing with a friend about how much I need to bring and how best to carry it etc. and she thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask everyone to bring a throwaway pack lunch to eat on the journey there. This would give me less to carry and would also ensure the kids get a lunch they will definitely like and eat. I would only then have to provide the birthday tea.

But I feel VERY rude asking the parents to provide a pack lunch for a birthday party! WIBU to ask this? How would you feel if you were asked?

[PerspicaciaTick]

So do a bag of sandwiches, a bag of biscuits, a couple of bags of drinks (they can be heavy), a bag of crisps etc. and then pool all the bags at the venue.

[cakedup]

I am carrying the birthday tea to the venue too, frazzled74, including the cake, paper cups/plates etc

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

To save worrying you could make a decent tea divided among the boxes that you get out and assemble.
Get the stuff you want plus bags and divvy it all up using foil and cling film. Each boy gets a bag to carry.
Or you pack 12 rolls, ketchup, a portable BBQ and sausages.

[cakedup]

No-where near a poundland RudeElf unfortunately, but thanks for suggestion.

[cakedup]

CodyKing We wouldn't all fit into one car and I don't drive, hence why we are taking public transport. It would be a bit much to ask anyway (driving for over two hours as well as spending hours at the venue).

[cakedup]

BackforGood we are meeting at 12 and I estimate we'll be back by about 7pm so it's 7 hours in total. Covering both lunch and dinner time!

[CodyKing]

Have you got a wheely bag? Or small suitcase with wheels? Would be a big help.

[rainbowstardrops]

If you're lugging all the party tea on public transport - by yourself - then I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask that the guests bring their own snacks/lunch/eat before they leave.

I regularly have to travel on public transport alone and it's not always fun!

Clearly people suggesting you take a disposable BBQ and sausages don't have to

[cakedup]

I won't be asking anyone to bring a pack lunch, on the basis that a few people here have said they would find it rude. I don't feel comfortable doing it tbh and just wouldn't feel like a good host.

GiddyOnZackHunt good idea - I'll separate all the food into 7 bags and then we all have one bag to carry. Last year I bought two massive Ikea bags so I think I was just imagining that same scenario. Might be a bit tricky when it's just just me and two boys walking to the train station but we'll manage and I just won't go super crazy with food like I did last year.

[BackforGood]

But if you don't have tea there, then that will cut down the time.
I was adding 3 hrs of activity and and hour each way on the train.

However, even so, as long as parents know that you are providing a packed lunch/tea / picnic (call it what you want), they would surely feed their dc some elevensies, and have a meal ready for when you get back..... allowing for waiting for trains etc., it will be about 6, surely? So one meal would be fine for that duration - can always do cereal bars or some cakes or something as a top up.

[alleypalley]

I would not have a problem with being asked to send along a pack lunch with my child.

[cakedup]

That did cross my mind CodyKing but suitcases are full of junk and up in the attic at the moment, so will have to think about that.

Also...when parents drop kids off and if they turn up with a present - would it be rude to ask if they come back with the present later at pick up?! So I don't have to take any presents to venue and back! Again, would feel a bit uncomfortable doing this.

[CodyKing]

Actually a friend of mine heated American hotdogs into a flask and took hotdog rolls - very easy meal - few sachets of sauce -

[cakedup]

rainbowstardrops tbh I thought the disposable bbq was a joke! Yes, I have done many a public transport journey lugging heavy bags and it's no fun at all. Last year we got caught in rush hour on the way back and couldn't even get a seat.

[MattDillonsPants]

Just include a plain roll, a sausage roll and a cheese sandwich in each lunch. Plus a chocolate bar and an apple and a muffin and small drink. Tell each child to bring a rucksack.

You can't ask them to bring a packed lunch. They are 11 not 3 and can carry their own.

[LookAtAllThesePhucksIGive]

If you asked me to provide a packed lunch then I would. You're taking my child out for 7 hours doing something that sounds exciting. Just ask. So what if they think it's weird or unreasonable. :o

[MattDillonsPants]

Also if the parents drop kids off with gifts, just leave the gifts at home why woujld you need to take them with you?

[Chippednailvarnish]

You seem overly concerned about appearing to be rude, practically every suggestion on this thread has been rejected, even if perfectly reasonable for not particularly clear reasons...

[BackforGood]

Also, by the time my dc were turning 11, I knew most of their friends parents well enough to be able to explain my predicament about the carrying, and it wouldn't have been an issue to ask them to come with a packed lunch, nor to say you won't be able to carry prezzies so if anyone is giving him a prezzie could they give it him at a different time, etc.
I just don't understand why you would want to take a full birthday tea / plates / cake etc on a public train journey.

[cakedup]

BackforGood On the invite i did say "I will bring snacks/drinks for the journey there" and bearing in mind how much exercise the activity will involve, I imagined/hoped the parents would feed up their kids before sending them out (I would, especially knowing how fussy DS is). It's 3 hours of running about like crazy, so kids will not be able to do that on an empty stomach, and I imagine they'll be starving straight after.

The event starts at 2pm. We're meeting at 12pm (allowing plenty of time for late comers etc) it takes just over an hour on public transport, then picked up by the venue mini bus for another 10 minute journey. Then briefing etc. Event finishes at 5pm. They have to get undressed etc. then birthday tea. Minibus back to train station (we had to wait around quite a bit for the mini bus last year) and then journey back which will probably take a bit longer because of the time of day.

[cakedup]

We're not meeting at my house MattDillonsPants, we're meeting at the train station. That way it's easy to find (my flat isn't and I'm shit with directions). Also, one year when we did meet at my place, there was a lot of faffing around with kids needing the loo etc. and we ended up setting off late.

[MattDillonsPants]

Could you manage a trip to McDonald's after the event? Not healthy I know but cheap.

[cakedup]

You seem overly concerned about appearing to be rude ha ha Chippednailvarnish. On AIBU the norm is to be accused of being rude, but there I am, trying not to be rude, and I get accused of being "overly concerned about appearing to be rude." Good one.

[cakedup]

Venue is no-where near...well anything else, MattDillonsPants!

[Chippednailvarnish]

shrugs well your choice OP. Spend your afternoon making kids carry bags of stuff on trains and minibuses to meet other kids who will hopefully help carry the stuff. And hopefully no gifts

Or just ask them to bring a packed lunch.