Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask party attendees to bring a pack lunch?

180 replies

cakedup · 05/04/2016 00:00

Taking DS (11) and five of his friends out for the day for his birthday. We will be taking public transport (1 hour journey) and when we get to the venue, the kids will be taking part in an activity lasting 3 hours - similar to paint-balling. Then we will have the birthday tea before heading home.

Originally, my mum was supposed to come but is not well. This means I will have to carry all the party food including the cake myself. I was discussing with a friend about how much I need to bring and how best to carry it etc. and she thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask everyone to bring a throwaway pack lunch to eat on the journey there. This would give me less to carry and would also ensure the kids get a lunch they will definitely like and eat. I would only then have to provide the birthday tea.

But I feel VERY rude asking the parents to provide a pack lunch for a birthday party! WIBU to ask this? How would you feel if you were asked?

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 05/04/2016 19:48

To the posters who are saying that it is short notice and they would have to go to the shop to get stuff for a packed lunch. Are you really suggesting that you have nothing in to make a lunch, no bread, cheese, cold meat, jam or whatever, couldn't rustle up a few crackers and cheese, a bit of fruit and a biscuit or pack of crisps or a yogurt from their fridge and cupboards, I find that more incredible than the ones who think it is rude to ask for a packed lunch.

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 05/04/2016 19:55

I don't know about others, but I'm out of bread, someone just finished the loaf. I have ham and cheese and jam, but no bread or crackers. No crisps either, we don't keep them in, or juice pouches or anything. There might be some yoghurts, not sure.
Not really enough to make a packed lunch without going to the shop. I could rustle you up a three course dinner with wine so its not like the cupboard are bare, its just that if I wasn't expecting to need a packed lunch I don't have the standard things here right now.
Is that so odd?

KayTee87 · 05/04/2016 20:03

Sorry if this has already been said haven't had time to rtft. As you said, separate lunches into 7 bags. Get onto the train with the kids (and presents they will be carrying), everyone eats lunch on the hours train journey then it's only the presents to carry. I think it sounds doable tbh.

NightWanderer · 06/04/2016 01:10

KayTee87 She still has to carry the birthday tea.

NightWanderer · 06/04/2016 01:12

But I do think you're over-thinking about this. Just tell them to eat before they travel or bring something to eat on the train. It's a long day, I don't think it's such a big deal.

Squiff85 · 06/04/2016 08:07

Being asked to bring a packed lunch wouldn't bother me at all!

EatShitDerek · 06/04/2016 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shosha1 · 06/04/2016 08:34

I used to have this scenario a lot as a Childminder with 8 in the holidays ( although I did drive a minibus)

But to go to a place like Moors Valley or the Beach I bought a cheap granny trolley. Best thing ever.

Lunar1 · 06/04/2016 08:52

I wouldn't ask them to send a packed
Lunch, but mainly sure to the fact that some parents will go completely ott and you may get children struggling to carry their own bag.

I helped out on a school trip a couple of weeks ago and the children had been asked to bring some fruit and a drink. There were a few who we discovered on the minibus had been sent with enough food to feed an army.

I'd just do 7 bags with a sausage/cheese roll, fruit, snack and a drink. All of which can be thrown away when you get there.

PrimalLass · 06/04/2016 09:46

I wouldn't mind at all. I can't believe people would find it rude when you are taking their children to something.

PrimalLass · 06/04/2016 09:47

My DD is gf, and I've sent a packed lunch to parties loads of times so the parents don't have to think about it.

PrimalLass · 06/04/2016 09:56

brummiesue Tue 05-Apr-16 07:55:55
I really think it's a bit cheeky asking parents to make a lunch for a party you are putting on.

I really hope you are not someone I know.

WakeUpFast · 06/04/2016 10:08

I'd make up a simple sandwich, fruit and bag of crisps and put them in a paper bag and give it to each child to hold. You can get them from ASDA for £1.50 packs of 8.

Dontcallus · 06/04/2016 10:18

Individual bags, half a cheese and half a ham sandwich - they can swap, drink, fruit cake bar crisps. Carry their own. Or seen really cheap 'Granny' trolleys on amazon (less than an tenner - looking for one as o have a shoulder injury)
Having said that asking them to bring a pack lunch is fine, you are taking them out for a long day, I wouldn't think it was odd at all.

WoodleyPixie · 06/04/2016 10:36

"My mum has pulled out which limits how much I can carry on the train so please could you ensure the kids eat before we meet at 12 pm (or bring a packed lunch); I will of course have snacks and drinks for the journey. Birthday tea as planned at the venue before travelling home" THIS! although I would add in that your mum is ill and not just that she has pulled out.

coolaschmoola · 06/04/2016 10:58

The invitation said drinks and SNACKS op. At no point did you mention giving them lunch. A packet of crisps and a chocolate bar is all you need. If I had received the invitation I would give my child early lunch and would expect others to do the same. You haven't offered lunch so why are you worrying about providing something that hasnt been mentioned?

Tbh if you said snacks but took lunch you would probably end up with a load of uneaten lunch to cart about.

WhatTheActualFugg · 06/04/2016 11:00

OP can you email the parents and say your usual helper has bailed out and ask for a volunteer to join you?

chelseabuns2013 · 06/04/2016 11:04

As a disclaimer I'm odd! Explaining how your plans have changed and you need a bit of help is not odd. TBH I wouldn't feel comfortable with one person taking on the responsibility of so many little people and food and transport so I would probably come with you! Watch the kids and help if needed.

Foxedme · 06/04/2016 11:05

I'd ask them to all bring a backpack then give each a little packed lunch to carry. They'd quite like that I'm sure! You could easily do a ham/cheese/tuna option on the invitation.

But I certainly wouldn't be offended if asked to bring one!

We went to a two hour disco party which didn't do food, party bags or a cup of tea for the parents! I thought that was a bit off... Mainly the cup of tea bit - we were all gasping after being dragged into disco games with the kids!

00100001 · 06/04/2016 11:07

YABU because it's a packed lunch ;)

Sinead85 · 06/04/2016 11:07

You could buy a few pizzas to pre cook at home, and slice up for them to have for lunch. Shouldn't be too heavy to carry and also gives options whilst being fairly cheap. I'd maybe ask the patents to pack drinks for their child for lunch, this should keep the weight down.

MattDillonsPants · 06/04/2016 11:08

00100001 I'm so glad you said it! Grin Sorry OP...

It's also mashED potatoes people. Not MASH potatoes.

I know nobody has mentioned mashed potatoes her but that's another bugbear of mine!

ridingabike · 06/04/2016 11:10

Being asked to take a packed lunch wouldn't bother me either. They're getting their birthday tea later anyway. Would people REALLY find it odd to cater for their own child when they're being taken out for most of the day? Oh well, takes all sorts.

If people do find it odd, they won't be impolite enough to tell you. And if they are,you know not to invite their kid next year.

arandomname · 06/04/2016 11:10

I think the solution is to ask for help! Why not see of one of the other parents or another friend can come along to help, as your mum has had to drop out?

EweAreHere · 06/04/2016 11:14

Honestly, I wouldn't mind being asked. At least I'd know my child would have a lunch they liked and would eat.

If it makes you uncomfortable, you can always give them a choice: tell them that due to logistics, every child will need to carry their own disposably-bagged packed lunch. Tell them they can send their own if their concerned about their child eating, or what you're planning to make for those who don't bring their own.