DD refuses to go to the doctors...

[LookingForAdvice12345]

DD is 17 and I do appreciate she's almost an adult (like the rest of the family have been telling me). However, I'm worried about her.

I'm suspecting gallstones. She has loads of symptoms - the main one being: spells of horrendous upper stomach pain - she has a great pain threshold and she'll be in absolute tears and screaming in pain. She always describes it as 'something has ruptured'. Anyway, she's overweight and she lacks in a lot of confidence because of it and this is her reason for not wanting to go. I've explained that they won't be judging you, etc. but she's having none of it.

I can't stand her being in so much pain, it's so bad, she puts hot/cold water on that area, until it has burnt her skin, to take the pain away. I can't watch her like it and who knows what damage is happening inside her, but I can't exactly force her.

WWYD?

Why exactly doesn't she want to go?

Does she not like a particular gp?

Not like needles?

Have a medical phobia?

I don't think anyone can help until they know the cause

She doesn't want to go because she is overweight.

But why is being overweight stopping her? I think you need to talk it through properly with her.

You poor poor things I don't know what to suggest, but somehow you must get her to a and e or a drop in centre if she has that sort of pain again. The only thing I can suggest (and obviously don't really want to suggest it) is that next time it happens , you call an ambulance so she really has no choice.

To be honest, if I was with a young adult who was screaming in pain I'd call an ambulance.

I'm over weight and had gallstones please tell her not to worry, they aren't judging. The pain is horrific, I would honestly rather give birth again. Does she understand that it's only likely to get worse and that it can cause other complications?

I suspect she will cave at some point and go by herself as I would have happily dance into that operating theatre butt naked jiggling my flab for all to see if it meant they would taken my gall bladder out.

OP does she think the Dr will have a go at her for her weight?

If so could you book a GP appt on her behalf, as she is still underage, and ask for a note to be put on her file? Or go in with her?

Or is she afraid the GP will dismiss her pain or say it is due to her weight?

You probably are right. Both about the gallstones and the lack of judging.

Is she hoping it will resolve itself and go away? You may be in for a long haul of convincing her that it isn't going away and something needs to be done about it.

I managed to put up with my gallstones for a long time and only sorted it when I was in trouble at work for time off yes another demented person with a high pain threshold so it could be a while before she feels bad enough to take herself to GP.

However overweight she is, they will always have seen someone more overweight. Assuming she is averagely overweight any mileage in doing a bit of an experiment next time you are in Tesco and looking at how overweight other people are - there will be loads of people just as overweight as she is if not more. Another experiment is to go and see how much time people spend staring at other people in the shopping centre - it's none.

But when you are self-conscious it feels like the world is thin and staring at you.

You could also have a look at the surgery website if there are pictures of the doctors and nurses. There's a fair chance that one of doctors will be bigger than she is would be if you were coming to see me

A doctor has commented on her weight before, when she went about a sprained ankle (when she was 13) and I know that has put her off and when the other doctor weighed her for medication regarding her ankle, completely stopped her from going (I admit that I did promise they wouldn't weigh her, I never thought they would )

She collapsed once and the A+E doctor said she needed bloods done for thyroid and she is yet to have that done.

She just doesn't want to be weighed/touched in that area, etc.

Bribery?

Not sure what your means are but promise her a nice treat if she goes.

Tell her how worried you are.

is there something she really wants /has her eye on?

She needs to see s doctor but in the meantime get her some high dosage peppermint capsules and make her take 4 of them 3 times a day. GP recommend to me before gallstones were confirmed and it helped the pain a lot.

Nope, nothing. She says that nothing is worth going for

I have given her some great pain relief, I have a friend who is a nurse and advices me on what to give, but because they're only spells of pain, the spell finishes before the tablets have kicked in! They last around 30 mins.

Had my gall bladder out in December. Attacks prior were horrific, was ambulance to hospital on gas and air for even stronger meds more than once.

No one commented on my weight (5 ft 6, almost 14 stone, at the time).
I have a new lease of life.

Perhaps focus on how much more comfortable life could be if it is that, after it is treated.

Then I wonder if you have to be brutal, and tell her that she is going to the doctors and make her an appointment? (Sorry, no better suggestions)

OP would she agree to talk to a GP on the phone? You could compromise on a telephone consultation?

Then she might see they are nice. Obviously try to get a nice one, maybe pref a woman!

And maybe don't give her the great pain relief! (sorry if that seems cruel)

The pain relief doesn't help and she says that - she still does the whole hot water thing

Thanks all for giving me advice, but it's just such a hard thing to get around!!!

TBH absolutely nothing worked for my gallstone pain except surgery. It's too severe for over the counter pain relief and comes and also came and went too fast for it to work as well. I'd be screaming and rolling around.

Would having the bloods for thyroid be worth going for, given that would be a medical cause for the weight gain?

Can you talk to the doctor yourself and maybe get them to come to the house?

In the final analysis if she's endangering her health because of what is in essence an extreme phobia, it might be necessary to think about sectioning her. Maybe mentioning that possibility to her might in itself shock her into going to the doctor of her own accord?

I thought so too, but nope, she seems to think that they'll want to weigh her (they probably will)

I have hypothyroidism (low thyroid) if she has that could possibly be part of why she's overweight too. They found i had low levels during routine preop blood test.
Since taking the thyroid meds I've gone down 3 dress sizes.
It can also make you feel very lethargic and depressed.

Speak to the surgery and say she doesn't want to go because of the previous weight comments.