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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends Crashing Our Holiday (sort of)

347 replies

PinkFairy22 · 01/02/2016 12:55

DH has done some work for our friend's parents. The work went well, the parents were very happy (and paid for it, in case that's relevant.).

The parents have a large holiday house in Cornwall which they often rent out and, as a thank you, have offered it to us - free- for a week over Easter. Totally unexpected and very kind of them.

We've confirmed the dates and arranged travel, car hire etc. Got a text last night from my friend saying "surprise, we're coming too". There's plenty of room in the house, so it's not going to be a space issue.

I'm really gutted, as I was really looking forward to a family break. We get on well with these friends, but have never been away with them - or even contemplated it tbh. Our kids get on ok but not brilliantly.

AIBU to feel so gutted?

OP posts:
MissBattleaxe · 01/02/2016 12:59

That's a tricky one. they are being cheeky as it was their parents's way of saying thank you, not theirs. However, it's hard to suggest what to do without looking awkward.

Akire · 01/02/2016 12:59

YRNBU to feel slightly gutted but on the other Hand you still have a free holiday so YRBU if you don't out weigh the positives over negatives.

I would book some trips and days out with just your family so you are not in each other faces 24/7 but can do trips out together too. Invente friend close by your are visiting if it helps!

MissBattleaxe · 01/02/2016 12:59

Unless you apologise in advance for walking around naked and having noisy sex all the time. Maybe try that?

8angle · 01/02/2016 13:00

No - I would feel gutted as well. Your options are to cancel "Oh no I/DH have to work..." or some other excuse. Or to go and suck it up - "almost free" holiday and sometimes when your expectations are low the reality can be more fun....
YANBU...

Akire · 01/02/2016 13:00

Plus if you work it out each couple can take it in turns to babysit at night so you still get time on your own and space either out or because they are out.

VegasIsBest · 01/02/2016 13:01

This just doesn't make sense. Why do they think they're coming. Someone must have invited them.

If you haven't invited them just phone back (not text!) and say that there seems to be a misunderstanding. This is a much needed family holiday.

gamerchick · 01/02/2016 13:01

Tell them you were kind of looking forward to just some family time but no worries hope they enjoy their week away and do something else.

I don't think any good comes of going on holiday with friends.

ricketytickety · 01/02/2016 13:01

yanbu but not sure what you can do other than cancelling and booking elsewhere.

RubbleBubble00 · 01/02/2016 13:01

I'd be completely gutted and very pissed off

Florene · 01/02/2016 13:02

Can't you tell them that you've invited your parents along for babysitting etc. and as such there won't be room?

nocabbageinmyeye · 01/02/2016 13:03

I would text back "ah, we have actually asked pil/my parents to come so won't be space, another time maybe"

Feck that they are super cheeky!!

BillSykesDog · 01/02/2016 13:05

Gosh, that's a hard one. Can you tell them that your kids have nits and worms at the mo to put them off?

Grin Grin

bibbitybobbityyhat · 01/02/2016 13:05

Yanbu. How incredibly annoying for you! Mind's a blank as to what you can do about it though Flowers

nocabbageinmyeye · 01/02/2016 13:06

Great minds florence

GloGirl · 01/02/2016 13:06

Ooh I like the idea of telling them tour PIL are going, genius. One of them can get the flu the day before you go Wink

MidniteScribbler · 01/02/2016 13:06

That stinks. They should have told you that there would be another family staying before you accepted it. Sadly, all you can do now is either cancel the holiday, or suck it up and make the best of it. But they're being arseholes trying to take over your vacation.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/02/2016 13:06

YANBU. I wonder if friend's parents know about the 'surprise'? I think I'd probably phone them, sound confused, and say something along the lines of 'Sorry, can I just check about your kind offer of a week in your holiday home? It's just that your son&DIL/Daughter&SIL have contacted us saying they'll be there too, did I misunderstand, were we being invited to share your/their holiday?'

It may be monetarily free, but it's not a holiday if you're lumbered with people you don't choose to be with. I'd rather save my holiday entitlement and pay to go elsewhere.

shinynewusername · 01/02/2016 13:12

WhereYouLeftIt's idea is a good one. But you need to decide in advance what you say if the parents reply, "Yes, we invited son & DIL because we knew you are friends". It is going to be tricky backing out at that point without a good reason.

Is there any excuse you could invent for needing the house to yourself e.g. DC with massive stranger anxiety?

OTheHugeManatee · 01/02/2016 13:13

I think WhereYouLeftIt has good advice. Phone friend's parents, act confused, say you'd been wondering about inviting your PILs and had been about to call and check if that was OK when you got the text from friends. Are you being invited to share a prearranged holiday? Because you get so little annual leave, not sure if you'd misunderstood, haven't seen PILs in ages so would need to prioritise that, etc, etc Wink

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/02/2016 13:17

Do what Whereyouleftit says!

Stillunexpected · 01/02/2016 13:18

From the other point of view though, your friends may have been looking forward to spending Easter at the house, as it hasn't been rented out then. On approaching their parents, they were possibly a bit surprised themselves to find out that the parents had already promised it to you!

I don't think taking your PILs is a great idea either. The family nicely offered you the house for free, they may not be expecting you to turn up with your extended family.

nocabbageinmyeye · 01/02/2016 13:21

Actually yes go with whereyouleftit but I would do it soonee rather than later, the longer you leave it the more awkward it will be

LagunaBubbles · 01/02/2016 13:22

Can't you tell them that you've invited your parents along for babysitting etc. and as such there won't be room?

I would try this, providing its not a 10 bedroom mansion obviously!

MidniteScribbler · 01/02/2016 13:22

I'd probably ring them and say 'oh gosh, we're so sorry and didn't realise the had already planned on coming. Is there a week we can book for our family that will not interfere with the holiday plans of your family that have already been booked?

Trickydecision · 01/02/2016 13:24

I vote for Manatee's approach. The mention of being about to ask about the PILs gives a good reason for inquiring about the friends, without seeming ungrateful or unfriendly.