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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know why some people are anti dummies?

238 replies

TaliZorah · 12/11/2015 19:04

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

OP posts:
MildVirago · 12/11/2015 19:06

For a lot of people, including those who talk about it being habit-forming or hampering speech, it's a class thing. They think it looks 'chavvy' (I quote - not my choice of word).

CarolPeletier · 12/11/2015 19:09

I'm not fussed either way but I thought that the use of a dummy could delay speech and prevent the needed gurgling babies make. Also, I think most prejudice is about older kids still having dummies...

redexpat · 12/11/2015 19:09

They're snobs.

YakTriangle · 12/11/2015 19:10

I don't think they ever look particularly lovely, especially when a child still has one aged 4 and is talking around the side of it... But both my DC had them as babies so I can't be judgy about them.

TheLeavesAreTurningBrown · 12/11/2015 19:10

Look my dad said once in authrotive and very superior way that I never had one as a baby.

One day I saw something very dummy like in a photo, and it was.

Its a crock of shite. One NCT mum looked down at mum with dummy and said they affect teeth and so on. But I discovered this mum then went and did things I wouldnt do with dc....

its all swings and round abouts and if it gives the child some comfort let it be.

BTW I have had one dc with dummy till 3 and one who never took to it.

Chottie · 12/11/2015 19:10

OP - just ignore people and do what suits you and your LO.

randomsabreuse · 12/11/2015 19:12

Don't have one but no judgement. Didn't want one initially as advised to wait if BF and she discovered her thumb/fist/hand within hours of being born so largely superfluous anyway as thumb won't be lost in the night.

Original poster
TaliZorah · 12/11/2015 19:14

I find it weird people have issues with older kids with dummies. Everyone's happy to say they'll toilet train when they're ready and leave a nappy on a 3 year old but a 3year old with a dummy gets weird looks... Hmm they'll give it up when they're ready. I think it only affects teeth if they literally have it all the time

I have a theory that some people like to make martyrs of themselves for bragging rights.

OP posts:
BlackGirlAndRobin · 12/11/2015 19:18

Rather a dummy that can be taken away than thumb sucking imo.

Both my DD's had them. Both were very sucky babies. Dd1 suddenly stopped using hers before her 2nd birthday, no speech issues or bad teeth. Dd2 at 18 months still loves hers, will leave it down to her as to when she stops.

Littlecaf · 12/11/2015 19:19

We ummmmed and ahhhhed about giving DS a dummy but he has one and it helps him sleep. I thought it looked chavvy before I became a parent. Now I think very differently!

Ignore.

Etak15 · 12/11/2015 19:27

I was always anti dummy, dd1 sucked her thumb, dd2 & 3 had nothing. Ds was a very sucky baby and I gave him one to give myself a chance to look after the others not be constantly breastfeeding! He took to it straight away and he loves it and so do I! (Still breastfeeding fine too) so i wish I wasn't such an anti dummy snob with the girls - could have made things a lot easier for myself at times!

MooPointCowsOpinion · 12/11/2015 19:28

YANBU It's just a breast substitute, as the sucking is comforting. If baby isn't breastfed, then a bottle followed by a suck on a dummy has got to be next best thing? I don't think comforters like dummies or blankets or breastfeeding should be taken away lightly, kids need comfort.

StellaAlpina · 12/11/2015 19:28

I think people worry that if they give one to a baby he/she won't want to give it up and it'll effect their teeth/speech - so best just not to have one in the first place.

But on the other hand I think they're probably really handy to give your boobs a break if you are breastfeeding.

Shirtsleeves · 12/11/2015 19:30

I was a bit of a snob when I had my first. Nearly 15 years later and she still sucks her thumb. Subsequent children had dummies which I could whip away. It ain't so easy to throw a thumb in the bin!

Crabbitface · 12/11/2015 19:31

Yeah I was always all "No child of mine!".about dummies and then I got home from the hospital with my PFB and was like GET THE DUMMY NOW. We got one as a preside. But guess what ... baby said no. Neither of my kids would tolerate anything that was not attached to me. But I really wished they did.

PrimalLass · 12/11/2015 19:32

SIL is a senior sbcu nurse and has given soothers (as she calls them) to both her babies. That is good enough for me.

This topic got nasty last time.

Caterina99 · 12/11/2015 19:32

ive never been so glad my DS takes a dummy as when I flew alone with him! Bet the other people on the plane felt the same way too

eurochick · 12/11/2015 19:33

They are supposed to reduce the SIDS risk. But they do look a bit ick to me. I just don't think a lump of plastic stuck on a baby's face looks nice. But you do what gets you through and I'm sure I've done loads of things that other parents wouldn't approve of.

PrimalLass · 12/11/2015 19:34

*scbu

Original poster
TaliZorah · 12/11/2015 19:35

Well nappies look a bit gross too don't they!

OP posts:
R0nJ0n · 12/11/2015 19:36

People always cite teeth and speech as a reason not to use a dummy, but has anyone ever had or met a child with tooth or speech problems that could be directly related to dummy use? Btw I'm not being goady here, just curious.

I have a theory that some people like to make martyrs of themselves for bragging rights. This is all too true in so many aspects of parenting.

IShallCallYouSquishy · 12/11/2015 19:37

DD was/is a thumb sucker. I wish I had given her a dummy as I could have ditched it by now. However at 3.6 her thumb is still very much her comfort. Fortunately it never impacted her speech. She has very articulate and clear speech and spoke from a younger than average age.

DS is 21 months. No dummy, no thumb. His recognisable words are "mama dada yeah Peppa" everything else is a noise.

Don't think sucking anything makes the slightest bit of difference!

Original poster
TaliZorah · 12/11/2015 19:37

R0nJ0n I was going to ask that. Funny how you don't see adults walking around who can't talk and still have a dummy

OP posts:
5madthings · 12/11/2015 19:38

Out of the the 5madthings I have one thumb sucker and one that needed a dummy. The elder three would only ever accept the boob.

The thumb sucker was an easier baby as he could self soothe, but he is now 7 and we are still trying to get him to stop.

My dd has s dummy. Basically I only gave it to her for sleep or when stuck in the car etc. As she has got older she had it less and less, it did not affect her speech or teeth, it's now a five min comfort thing at bedtime and she is talking about giving it away to the fairies...

Apparently dummies also reduce the sids risk?

Anyway some babies need them, some don't, I am expecting madthing6, I am planning on bfeeding and will see how it goes if this baby needs a dummy so be it.

DixieNormas · 12/11/2015 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.