To not know why some people are anti dummies?

[TaliZorah]

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

In the video they show you when you are due to be discharged after having your baby it said they recommend dummies now (My DS is nearly 6 months) because if the baby is sucking on the dummy there's a reduced risk of them stopping breathing. You can take a dummy away, you can't take a thumb away and children who sick on their thumb can also cause issues with the way their teeth grow. My DS has one and I've not had any comments. YET. Each to their own x

it's fine on a baby. When it is a child talking round it like Humphrey Bogart, worrying for jaw and speech.

I think they have their place. We had one for dd3 (dc4), because she wanted to suckle, couldn't find her thumb and got really angry at the breast if she got milk in times of comfort suckling. Weirdly, at 7m she rejected it.

The other 3 were easily settled with boob/rocking/a cuddle & didn't really need one.

Personally I wanted to avoid one as much as possible after being an au pair & witnessing my host parents doing nightly dummy hunts despite the fact we had about 10 dummies. I didn't really want to do that. Nothing martyrlike about that imo.

I have witnessed mums trying to force a dummy onto babies who really weren't interested or even in need of them at work (maternity unit), that I don't quite get. I'm all for them if needed though.

2 of my kids didn't want dummies. The other 1 was so addicted he SCREAMED went it fell out. This was worse than crying. Eventually 1 sucked on a cloth, 2 sucked their thumbs. They all need a soother.

Personally just don't like the look of a dummy on a 3yo just as I wouldn't really like to see a 3yo constantly sucking thumb (walking along in the day, watching TV or whatever). During sleep or to get to sleep is different. It seems a bit like they can't just relax their movements. Constant gum chewing also irritates me.

I reckon babies kind of make up their minds anyway.

I have 3 boys. First one was a very big baby, constantly hungry. He used a dummy until he just kind of naturally didn't need it any more. He moved on to teddies - couldn't go anywhere without his favourite snuggly.
DS2 refused a dummy, even though I desperately tried to get him to use it in the first six weeks so I could get some sleep. He just wanted to be with us in bed - is 5 now and still sneaks through occasionally in the night for cuddles. We were his comforters if you like.
DS3, is 5 months old, is breastfed (other two express-BF from bottles) and loves to suck long after the milk has finished - thus a dummy is the only way.

Kids like comfort, The world is a big, scary place - why would anyone deny a child whatever happens to comfort them?

If a kid still has his/her dummy at 15, then we can talk.

Op I have done both. One loved dummy one loves breast.

breast has certainly been more intense because I have to be there but quicker too...( at pacifying and getting to sleep)

I was a bit of an anti dummy mummy until after the third bout of mastitis in 6 weeks, combined with OH being away when a friend suggested it. I didnt like the way it looked but it meant both me and my baby were able to get some comfort. FYI She's four now and actually still has it just before she goes to sleep - She has no problems at all with speech and her teeth are straight. I'm working on getting her to give it up but tbh, it's only used for about 30 mins a night and she gets in the 'zone' when I give it to her, she knows it's bedtime and it chills her out. It's an instant comfort if she's ill. Two of her friends suck their thumbs constantly. What's the problem? Do what is right for your baby/child.
dons hard hat

Our little boy is nine month next week and has only just started having a dummy. We never had a problem weather he had one or not, he did take one now and again as a new born but wouldn't keep it in for long. He's only just started having one because he was really I'll last week not eating or drinking and I think he just wanted sow thing for comfort.
If you want your baby to have one then so be it, if you don't Kiel them then keep your comments to yourself.
Sow times a baby/toddler and even children over three and four need them for comfort when they are poorly.

All babies are born with a natural need to suck, its a survival reflex. Dummies were invented mainly for use with formula fed babies who can't spend all day latched on to a bottle.
Modern mums who breastfeed also find dummies useful because you cant always have your boobs out.
As long as the dummy isn't being used when baby is actually hungry I see nothing wrong with them. Sometimes if a dummy is used too much in a bf baby you will notice a decline in breast milk production. My ds had a very severe tongue tie and all though we did painfully plough through and bf , I very much relied on a dummy for the times I couldn't bear to have him on me when he wasn't feeding. I wish people knew all the facts before being so judgmental and assuming you're just lazy.

I actually think they look cute - that's not the reason mine have them tho - but i just don't see them as ugly at all.

DS1 had one on day five to help him sleep and ds2 didn't have one till DH held it into his mouth all night when he was 6 weeks old as we were so sleep deprived we had to do something to stop him crying at night. (he still hasn't slept longer than 3hrs and is 1.3mo. ). DS1 is 3.3 and still has it for sleep as does DS2.

Merrymarigold - Some children and adults do have a greater need more than most, to chew. DS who has autism is trying to chew something most of the time.Chewing gives a needed sensory input for some.

DD1 never touched one at all, but DD2 had one for her first couple of years. DW hated it - I could never figure out why she was so dead against it and thought it was just a complete waste of energy, and she got kind of obsessed with making DD2 give it up. Nothing worked and in the end DD2 just gave it up in her own time.

I didn't want to use a dummy with DS but it was suggested to help reflux and to see if it would help him settle off the boob. I got a few, he won't take them. If taking a dummy meant i could actually put him Down for nap i would be thrilled but its not to be. He will chew on it would(just started teething) but not suck.

I don't quite know what i have against them but i still prefer to go without if possible. But would use one if it helped.

I don't like seeing older children with them.

I feel mean when i try ti give one to DS. He's expecting milk and nothing comes out!

Very odd that people are more bothered about the look of dummies then the comfort of babies .

I used them on my twins.
They're now 16 with perfect teeth and speech.

It's an old wives tale thing, I think. DD had one and I had my fair share of negative comments by nearly all from my mym's generation (never my lovely mum though!). Ds wouldnt take one and I was gutted!

Timelytess: What if you could not or did not want to breastfeed? Would you still deny the baby comfort? People need to remember not all people can or want to breastfeed.

My son was poorly and I could not produce milk so he had a dummy. He is now two and only has it to go to bed with at night. Perfect teeth and his speech is fanastic.

My daughter did not have one until she started to suck her thumb and I chose to defer over to a dummy. After having friends and family who have sucked thumbs way into teen and adult life I felt this was for the best.

Sometimes I really hate (but yet cannot help) myself coming on mumsnet. The way people put things are so snarky, snobby and judgemental. This is supposed to be a place of support. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion but as adults can we not put it in a way that is non offensive? It's almost like bullying sometimes.

People need to remember everyone on here has a different past, upbringing and most importantly baby! What works for one may work for another.

And as for the way it looks? I really could not give a toss! If something makes my child happy and comforts them so be it! Same as if they wanted to dress themselves for the day, I don't care how it looks... I would not judge someone else. If child is happy mummy is happy on my household!

Peace to all dummy and non dummy givers! xx

My 3 1/2 year old has one to bed still. Everyone i know gives us grief about it. He will give it to santa this year so santa can give it to all the little babies.

If i ever had another i would remove it sooner but it gives my son alot of comfort.

For some weird reason my parents and sister were totally against dummies. Then not only did my DD use one, but she ended up always needed THREE. One in her mouth, one wedged in between her nose and mouth and one to rub on her head. She was very happy. My mum and dad bit their tongues...

TeacherMummy ever thought those things could be related 'could not produce milk' and 'had dummy'? Not saying they are but soooooo many people say they didn't produce enough milk, which unless you are in a very small minority is more likely to be a supply/demand issue than a physical one. Dummies must be a cause for at least some of those people as most people don't seem to realise newborns need to breastfeed for 6 weeks straight to get a good supply established. How many times have we read on this thread people used a dummy because their baby had already been fed/not hungry?

All mine had dummies once bf was well established, it saved me bf constantly just for comfort.

I agree with those who say, dummies for older toddlers are fine for naps and comfort when upset but not to have them stuck in their mouths all day. I used to have to hide my kids dummies and keep them out of reach, because if they saw them they would have shoved them back in, but I would say it was very noticeable that they didn't talk as much with them in which I why I wouldn't let them have them all the time.

I teach pre-school classes, and one 3 year old little boy has never uttered a word in my class because he always has a dummy in his mouth. Obviously he can talk and will learn to talk properly, but it may well be delayed compared with peers, which at school age (only 4, remember) can then have a knock on effect on phonics and reading.

They also don't look very lovely I agree, but that would be a secondary reason for not having them in all day not a primary one.

I know a lady who has a 3 year old who still bf, I don't judge her for that, each to their own, if the child still wants it that's fine. However, she is basically used as a dummy, every time the child is remotely upset or bored she demands boob so the lady is constantly in and our of her bra (eg about 6 times during a 40 minute period I was with them). While a nice thing to do at bedtime or similar, being a human dummy jsut strikes me as annoying.

Ispy... If you really Must know my baby was getting NO milk not one drop! It was ONLY after that did he get offered a dummy! I do not believe what you are saying to be true. Being hungry and being comforted in my opinion are two different things. And again what about people (like most of my friends) who do not WANT to breastfeed?! I tried deseperately and not a drop came for my child, it was very distressing and I do not in one but appreciate you assuming people may not produce because of dummies in fact I find it completely offensive. Let me guess? Your breasts were brimming were they? Well done you! I persevered and could well have starved my child. HOSPITALS advice which I appreciate far more than someone from mumsnet!

Teacher I did say it might not have been the case for you, how would I know, but I do think it is the case for many. Hunger and comfort ARE different needs but both can/should be met by bf. It is impossible to over feed a bf baby as your body is exceptionally clever with regards to supply and the amount of calories received in total over a 24hr period. With regards to those who don't want to bf? Well I'm afraid I find it difficult to believe they have their baby's best interests at heart when it is well documented that bf is far superior to ff. I don't get why it's so taboo to say that. Everyone wants the 'best' and 'safest' pram/car seat for their baby and does lots of research on that but the one decision that has the most impact on their baby's health/wellbeing (how they are exclusively fed for 6months) is often given such little thought.

With regards to those who don't want to bf? Well I'm afraid I find it difficult to believe they have their baby's best interests at heart when it is well documented that bf is far superior to ff.

Oh DFO. There are also advantages to FF, and disadvantages to bf. I gave DS the colostrum and then happily moved to ff as neither of us enjoyed bf. The benefits are disputed after the first few weeks anyway.

Cannot stand sanctimonious granola mothers

The benefits are not disputed. You are ill informed. There are benefits to ff. None of them benefit the child.