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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know why some people are anti dummies?

238 replies

TaliZorah · 12/11/2015 19:04

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

OP posts:
munkisocks · 12/11/2015 21:22

My girl has had a dummy since day one and she's 4.5 months now. She only really takes it when sleepy and spits it out otherwise. My nan is obsessed with dummies! During pregnancy kept asking if we're going to use one and now every time baby makes a slight cry it's "where's her dummy?!?!?!" She'll go through baby's change bag searching frantically for it sometimes for my dd to just spit it straight back out or put her tongue in the way to stop it going in lol.

hazeyjane · 12/11/2015 21:24

My ds was given a dummy when in nicu, it was to help stimulate a suck reflex and also because being in a plastic box unable to be cuddled and being stuck with needles and tubes is a big (literal) pain to a newborn baby, and the only comfort he could have was that of suckling.

He had a dummy until he was 2 1/2, and I felt incredibly guilty taking it away, as he derived so much comfort from it, especially when he was in hospital (he is disabled and has complex health issues).

He is non verbal, but I don't think this is because he had a dummy.

It is very naive to see a child with a dummy and assume it is because a parent wants to shut their child up, or is just lazy.

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/11/2015 21:26

Ah and there we have it, so now dummies are comparable to having a fag. That's a new one but I like it.

horseygeorgie · 12/11/2015 21:27

I knew a mum with a 4 year old who still had hers. It was in CONSTANTLY. the poor childs teeth were all over the place and she could barely talk. I know it is the far end of the spectrum but it worried me!
On the other hand, my DB didn't have one until he was 2 1/2! He was a very sensitive and difficult child and it calmed him right down. He had it until he was 4 and is a very successful man now with not speech issues and beautiful teeth!

ispyfispi · 12/11/2015 21:27

Talizorah- yes actually I do!

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/11/2015 21:31

I really shouldn't take the bait but, sometimes my baby is just tired. He's well fed, clean, comfy, being cuddled by me or his dad. But he struggles to drift off, even putting him in a sling, going for a walk in the pram he just can't go off. Suckling the dummy seem to soothe him and he drifts off to sleep.

It's nothing remotely to do with shutting him up.

The other thing was he had acid reflux and the suckling helped to neutralise the acid and comfort him.

you sound like a fool

timelytess · 12/11/2015 21:33

Reasons I am 'anti-dummies'...
1 - If a baby has a dummy the mother/baby communication through suckling at the nipple is limited. This can lead to the mother not producing as much milk as the child needs. The communication through the baby's saliva to the mother's body is also important - without it, the mother's body does not know what antibodies to produce to protect the child.
2 - A dummy is a substitute - for the nipple. Why give your child a substitute? If you wanted to hold your husband's hand, would you be happy if he passed you a false hand instead?
3 - A baby with a dummy has been 'shut up' and looks as if s/he has.

Strokethefurrywall · 12/11/2015 21:34

This thread is BRILLIANT!

Dummies compared to cigarettes

I think I live in a country where judgment over pacifiers would be met with a snort and an eyeroll. Much like judgment over pierced ears on babies. Very close to central America, lots of babies with pierced ears and dummies. But I don't think people care enough to judge really.

I don't think I ever had an opinion about pacifiers before I had kids. DS1 had one from about 1 month old, got rid of it himself at 13 months, DS2 had one from about 1 day old as he did not stop sucking. Didn't interfere with nursing and he still has one now at 19 months for sleep.

I don't understand the hand wringing angst about them either OP, you're not alone.

Shirtsleeves · 12/11/2015 21:34

Pyjama you are way too over invested in this, taking everything as if it's a personal attack. Just chill. Most people don't care most of the time.

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/11/2015 21:37

Who says the baby is hungry, hot cold etc?

The baby is attached to me all day I know his hunger cues, I know when he's lonely or bored we don't use the dummy then we try offer other distractions if we can't play with him immediately, I play with him loads during the day and I know his tired cues.

You are a cheeky fucker why do you assume you know other people's babies better than their parents?

ispyfispi · 12/11/2015 21:37

It's a good job your baby wasn't born a couple of hundred years ago then Pyjama, how on earth would you have got it to sleep?!

ispyfispi · 12/11/2015 21:39

And if you read my whole post, my dd was the same. Putting her back on the boob would always get her to sleep but if I wanted to do something else instead I used the dummy. Looking back that was not for her benefit but mine and I wouldn't do it again.

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/11/2015 21:43

I'm lovely and chilled out thanks Smile

If I lived 200 years ago a lot of things would have been different and not for the better.

We'd have probably died of the plague.

TheSconeOfStone · 12/11/2015 21:44

I absolutely hate the way they look but would have loved it if my babies would have accepted a dummy and given me some peace. DD1 would suck the dummy while I held it but it would pop out every time I took my hand away. She started finger sucking at 2 months old. Dentist said not too worry as long as she stops before big teeth come through which she has. DD2 recoiled in horror and yelled because she was offered something to suck that didn't contain milk. I was probably doing it wrong but my mum is so anti dummy I had no experience and no one to ask.

itsmine · 12/11/2015 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 12/11/2015 21:47

Mine are teens now but I don't remember the subject of dummies coming up at Antenatal or the Health Visitor mentioning them at all. Is there an official line, are they recommended by HCPs nowadays as being beneficial?

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 12/11/2015 21:48

ispyfispi dummies are a fucking godsend to babies in NICU and SCBU units where you can't be glued to your baby trying to second guess every whimper, you're talking out of your arse.

Also, I seriously hope you're nothing to do with FiSpi as that sort of attitude is pretty unpleasant for a supposedly welcoming and inclusive bunch of people.

ExBallerina · 12/11/2015 21:48

I really don't know. In my family growing up, every baby/toddler had dummies. Or, "Soosies" as we called them. I just assumed it was normal. We all have had braces, though, I grant you.

DD never wanted one, and we never missed it.

Can't get worked up about it, really...

ispyfispi · 12/11/2015 21:49

Not the case her at all Itsmine! Currently nursing dc3 back to sleep!

Pyjamaramadrama · 12/11/2015 21:51

I know I do take the bait. It just astounds me that other parents can be so sneery and judgy especially when we all know how hard those early months can be.

If dummies ceased to exist tomorrow we'd all get by but they work for many parents and baby's.

5madthings · 12/11/2015 21:52

Actually there have been versions of dummies for generations, most much less hygienic than we have today, from bits of cloth with a knot tied in for baby to suck to all sorts of other artificial teats. Babies were also given to wet nurses, they were left to cry, all sorts of other options.

A dummy used when necessary isn't a bad thing, obviously just plugging a baby in with a dummy and not interacting with it and letting an older toddler or child have one constantly isn't good and no one has said that. People are talking about using them when necessary to help comfort a particularly sucky baby or to help with sleep or to help with reflux or all sorts of situations such as premium babies and there is evidence to show they can help protect against sids.

I always had an oversupply bfeeding and spent over ten years bfeeding five kids, one of my children having a dummy didn't interfere with bfeeding. I think it's a better option than thumb sucking as it can be limited. I can't take my seven year olds thumb off him... You can remove a dummy.

itsmine · 12/11/2015 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ispyfispi · 12/11/2015 21:54

Procras, they absolutely have their place, as a substitute, SCBU a perfect example. In my first post I said sometimes they are used well, but often not, which was my answer to the OPs original question why some people are opposed to them.
If everybody carried their babies in Fispis I'm sure they would be a lot happier Smile

5madthings · 12/11/2015 21:56

They used to put sugary substances, fat or even balls of chewed meat into a tied up rag for babies to suck on, there are dummies/pacifiers going back to the 1470's according to medical literature of the time...

DixieNormas · 12/11/2015 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.