To not know why some people are anti dummies?

[TaliZorah]

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

[spritefairy]

My DD has a dummy. She is 2.8 and has fantastic speech.

My ds (8 months) has never took a dummy despite perseverance. He sucks a blanket instead

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

It just seems quite random Tali, if you don't have dummy-use in your family background or similar; "Someone a bit upset and tetchy, I know I'll pop something non-edible in their mouth!"

That seems a weird line of thought to me, but hey people can and should do whatever works for them with newborns. They are tough months.

[Notagainmun]

Looking back DS1 could have done with one for the first few months but he did learn to self sooth eventually. DS2 suc ked his thumb until he was three. Nursery teacher got him to stop. I went on my mother's advice m

[TaliZorah]

Pyjama no idea why people think it looks chavvy...that's literally never crossed my mind!

[Only1scoop]

Dd had one until she was almost 2. However only ever for naps and bedtime.

I must admit I wouldn't encourage it at times other than associated with sleep.

[TaliZorah]

strawberry but babies have a sucking reflex and suck to comfort themselves so it's not a weird thought?

[Greengardenpixie]

Dummies are fantastic. All my children used them and it pacified them. Sometimes i hear, my baby didnt take to a dummy. Well that is imo because sometimes you need to persevere a little. It is so soothing. It keeps baby happy and mum and dad..whats not to like?

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

Well, you know random hard plastic and rubber. Not skin. Not food. Not smelling of mummy. Potentially habit-forming. It just seems alien to me. Just not really on my radar at all.

I'm not judging. I have no snobby thoughts. I had one very whingy baby, but I just used to resort to offering a knuckle when things were particularly bad.

So much of this is cultural, in the broadest sense of the word, with no right or wrong.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Strawberry I don't know anyone personally who gave their baby a dummy.

It had never occurred to me to give one to either of mine.

We had a couple unopened in a pack that came in a gift set. One particularly bad night when I felt as though my nipples were going to fall off and no rocking or pacing the floor was working, I remembered the dummy and offered one to the baby.

He fell asleep almost immediately.

I do resent anyone thinking that I would do anything that I felt would cause harm to one of my children.

[camelfinger]

I don't like them. I decided to get over myself and tried one with DS2 anyway, but he kept spitting it out. I ended up having to hold it in gently, which you're not supposed to do. And it rather defeats the object.
I do feel slightly relieved that I haven't got to prise one off my children when they are older, as I do think they don't look very nice in older children. But I wouldn't make any comments to anyone, or disapproving looks.
In terms of unsolicited advice, I have probably had an equal mix of people encouraging me to introduce a dummy and people who decide to tell me how awful they are and what a great parent I am for not using them. Hmm.

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

I had one very whingy baby, but I just used to resort to offering a knuckle when things were particularly bad and actually maybe a dummy would have helped I don't know, it didn't occur to me.

[TaliZorah]

Strawberry that seems weirder to me, offering a knuckle. DS does chew my hand sometimes but I never would have let him if he hadn't started it himself, it would never have occurred to me.

Plus it ties you up. A dummy you can get on with your everyday tasks, if you've got your finger in their mouth you can't. Same as if you put them on the breast.

I'm not judging either I just don't understand where the dislike comes from.

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

I do resent anyone thinking that I would do anything that I felt would cause harm to one of my children.

Well I don't think that and the problem with anyone who does think that is NOT their dummy-scepticism but something else

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

I suspect we might as well debate why our favourite wine gum flavours seem best to us

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Ds does seem to find it very soothing we are still very close I hardly put him down as he's clingy and we often co sleep, I do get the impression people assume you shove the dummy in and plonk the baby on the floor.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

I think babys look adorable with a dummy.. DS2 won't have one he just spits it out but my god when he won't settle for hours i damned wish he was into them! saves money though i guess

[Crazybaglady]

Im not fussed. DS didnt have one, DD does.

although depending on the tone of voice, i wouldn't get offended by anyone saying that their child didn't need one. My DS didn't need one, i don't say that to be superior... He just wasn't a sucky baby!

[wanderingwondering]

I was adamant my first baby wouldn't have one and sobbed the night I gave in and gave her one as it looked so strange in her mouth. But it was very useful and I liked the element of control it gave me over when she had her naps etc.
Second baby could probably have done without one but will admit to giving one to make life easier and to be able to leave him happy for a while when I had to attend to my eldest.

[BreeVDKamp]

DS was born by forceps and doc recommended a dummy to ease any headache he may have had. He did want to suck allllll the time (tongue tied though!) so it really helped give me a break too. Definitely has not impinged his babbling, he's always nattering away! Has taken to chewing it now with his 2 new shiny teeth at 5 months though, and is starting to find his thumb (which I don't mind, won't have to keep putting the dummy in and I was a thumb sucker, soooo whaaaaaaaaaaaat).

[Pyjamaramadrama]

I suppose people get offended if they feel that they are being judged. It's the old 'walk a mile in my shoes'.

In rl I have been unfortunate to have come across some very outspoken people.

We all judge but parents should try to be a bit kinder to each other.

[trilbydoll]

DD1 is 2.5, adores her dummy and it has messed her teeth up. It's not that she has it all the time but she would never take anything bigger than the Nuk 0-6m. So it's ridiculously small now.

DD2 won't take a dummy and even though I'm glad we won't have the same issues, I'm the only one who can comfort her. She won't take a bottle either and I feel totally suffocated. Can't win!

Dummies are definitely something people think is fair game to comment on. I think they're seen as lazy parenting by people who don't like them, especially rude old ladies

[Alisvolatpropiis]

My baby has one (5 months), I didn't plan to use one, not for any particular reason, but on day 6 I thought "fuck this" and gave her one. Peace and calm ensued has done ever since.

She doesn't need it all the time, can self settle without it, doesn't wake up when it falls from her mouth. I think she just likes the comfort of sucking.

It's not a big deal.

[lilyb84]

I'm expecting my first DC and literally hadn't even thought about dummies so this is an interesting discussion to read! My mum didn't give any of us dummies - she was a children's nurse and had reasons which I'm not aware of - and both me and my middle sister sucked our thumbs and ended up with wonky teeth as a result. I didn't stop until I was 13 (I'd like to point out it was at home only!) but my sister still sucks her thumb, aged 27, sometimes in public. I remember it being a REALLY hard habit to break and think it looks just awful doing it as an older child and certainly an adult. Kind of wish we'd been given dummies instead as at least we'd have been giving them up at an age when we wouldn't really remember...

[brokencrayons]

my kids had dummies, both perfect teeth and very good talkers. I never had a dummy as a baby and sucked my thumb to the point that it got misshapen. I gave it up age 11. id rather have a dummy that I can take away to be honest!