To not know why some people are anti dummies?

[TaliZorah]

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

My BF DS started having horrendous colic when he was about 6 weeks old, it was unbearable and I was at the end of my tether. I was so, so sleep deprived and so tired and upset that I had an emotional breakdown to my HV. She advised me to give DS a dummy.

I had always been very anti-dummy but because I was at breaking point I gave him one. I hated the way it looked but it worked so well.

One day though I went for a lie-down and I woke up with my boobs being in absolute agony, they were huge and rock solid. I looked at the clock and saw 4 hours had passed so I ran downstairs to check DS was ok. He was with my DH, asleep in exactly the same position I had left him in and he had the dummy in his mouth. That's when I started to really not like him having the dummy as he was using that and not me as a comforter and it meant the breast feeding process was being interrupted.

Thankfully DS decided he didn't want it anymore after about 10 days of it so it didn't cause any long term issues.

He's still BF now (20 months) so thankfully I'm still his comforter and he has never resorted to thumb sucking and I hope it stays that way.

I used wraps for all five of my babies, I Co slept, bfed on demand and two out of the five still needed a dummy or thumb... I barely out them down as babies, have never left them to cry, they have all been worn in wraps from birth, my dd still needed a dummy.

As a SaLT they can and do have effects on speech in a number of ways. I can spot dummy teeth a mile off. But all my kids had one for varying lengths of time.

I realise that Dixie but it applies to a lot. It is MY reason for disliking dummies which is what the OP asked.

I took the comparison to the cigarette to be in relation to trying to talk with one in your mouth. Children trying to talk out of the side of their mouth around the dummy like people trying to talk with a cigarette in their mouth...

I rarely put ds down, co sleep etc. That's why I find it offensive that anyone would suggest we are less close because he has his dummy.

It's not about trying to change anyone's mind or persuade them they should use dummies it's about taking a step back and realising that you are not superior, you are not a better or more loving parent, you are no closer to your child. Because it really does come across that way.

I don't get 'they needed a dummy' .What does that actually mean? What do you suppose happens to babies without access to a dummy?

People assume I have an issue with them and/or are smug about DD not using one. The truth is I tried her with one but she kept spitting it out. She also wouldn't take a bottle (screams bloody murder at the sight of one...drama queen ). I assure you that I would have been happy for her to use one instead of her thumb...but hey, that's life.

Dummy far superior to thumb as you've no control over thumb sucking! I removed dummy when my little minx started biting it making it unsafe. Can't get the other to stop sucking her thumb! Third kid did neither go figure.

Brioche many end up thumb sucking.

I was anti dummy but when DS was born he was quite sick and in an incubator the midwives advised it as we couldn't hold him. He stopped sleeping with a dummy in his mouth at about 18 months. He did however continue to hold one in his hand when sleeping till 5. Never put it in his mouth but had to hold it in bed. For the first while he stopped sucking it he would rub it round his face making humming noises. Apparently I did the same as a child.

I'm not anti-dummies, but I don't really see the point of them in a lot of cases. I'm sure lots of people have benefitted enormously by using them, but if people use them just because they're there, I think they can cause more problems in the long run, such as trying to wean children off them and babies/children waking in the night and getting upset because they can't find it.

I've never used them for my own children, but DC1 was a very fractious baby and so we tried dummies, but she refused. We all make our own decisions, if people want to use dummies that's their call, I can't get worked up about it tbh.

Personally I think they look horrible and are unhygenic. I tried one briefly on DS1 to try to get him to settle, but every time it fell out he screamed, and then I had to sterilise it, then I had to get more because it got lost, and it was such a pain that that I chucked them all after about 2 weeks. Didn't bother with DS2 & 3.

My baby breastfeeds like a dream (all her - no skill on my part, very lucky). She has a dummy.

I saw that they could potentially reduce SIDS risk and although this needs further study I thought it could do no harm. DD uses it for sleep and when I burp her, she cries when sat up after a feed. I pop a dummy in as I soothe and burp her, she settles with it.

She keeps trying to find her thumb. She's going to suck something, might as well be something I can sterilise.

Judge away. I know I listen to what she needs, I respond to her every time, but when you've had a baby comfort sucking on your tit for 10 hours when they're not hungry a dummy might not seem so pointless.

I'm sure every parent on here has done something I wouldn't do and vice-versa. I'm sure every baby is loved, cherished and cared for, who gives a fuck how we achieve that. We're all doing the best job we can for our children.

I didn't use them on my two children because I didn't like the look of them. I'd rather see my baby's face then a plastic dummy.

Ironically, despite not having dummies, my eldest son need speech therapy!

I think the cultural thing must be part of it. Our family never used them and I don't "like" them so wouldn't have chosen to use one.

Of couse the families I see using them are rarely the "I use a dummy at night/nap time" families. By definition the ones I see are the ones using them in the day so rightly/wrongly I associate them with being plugged in. I really really dislike being at toddler group and seeing a kid running around/playing with one in.

Until this thread I'm not sure where the dislike stems from. I guess I associate it with other "chavvy" (bad word but mentioned above) attitudes - leaving kid strapped in pushchair for hours with a dummy in to keep quiet. I am VERY aware this isnt the case even in the ones I know who use them but I was just examining where the association must be in my head.

I breastfed and genuinely let them use me whenever they wanted to suck. I suspect I would get judgement for that. V early on in the thread I saw the justification of "getting things done" so in effect quietening the baby. My house would have shown evidence of NOT "getting things done" so I suspect the judgement towards me would flow freely!

I had a dummy until I was about 6. No speech or teeth problems as a result.

I said I wouldn't use them with DC. DD never had one but DS does - he wouldn't settle and we were willing to try anything.

That said I am a total dummy snob. I have an unreasonable hatred of the cheap round dummies, I hate seeing babies with them even though logically I know there's not really any difference between brands. I only buy the MAM soothers as they're the only ones I like the look of although I'm sure I'm just being tricked with clever advertising as they're about four times the price of other brands.

Another one with a v poorly baby in scbu. He was given a dummy (lipstick shape ? #vague) we werent allowed to hold him, he had expressed milk through a ng tube. This was many years ago btw. Anyway we stupidly weaned him onto his thumb, horrid orthodontic work needed in teens to rectify overbite etc.

Personally I think they create more problems than they're worth, they're not necessary, a babies sucking reflex can be pacified with a boob or a bottle, they don't need a dummy. I might use one for an ill baby or a baby in a neonatal unit away from his mummy. That's about it

JW

What problems?

My baby likes to suck well after her hunger for milk has been sated so, are the options risk over feeding her or use myself like a human dummy?

Some people love to judge others. My dc1 had a dummy. I know a 25 year old who sucks her thumb so whatever works imo

I am one of those people that loathe dummies. That said, DD had one while she was colicky and then rejected it. If she'd wanted it, I wouldn't have deprived her, but to me, it does look a bit scummy and smacks of 'shuuuuut up, Courtney!' Particularly when they're walking and talking.

I don't really see the problem wit a dummy helping get a few minutes quiet from the screaming. DS had colic , so yes when his dummy did help I was grateful. We do what we can to get by. There was a mother in my baby group the other day she was a right nob shouted out about never using a dummy being smug.The dental nurse told her better a dummy than a thumb. If you don't use a dummy fine but get down off your high horses.