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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

you invite a friend and cook a nice meal

168 replies

perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 10:36

And she looks at it and says her kids won't eat it and offers to make something else. Do you feel annoyed?

OP posts:
magimedi · 31/05/2015 10:37

Yes. Very.

If her kids don't eat a lot of things she should have told you first & maybe said something like: "My DCs are fussy buggers, so don't bother to make anything for them, they'd be happy with fish fingers".

sonjadog · 31/05/2015 10:37

A little, but I wouldn't let it bother me for long. At least she offered to cook them something else. It would be worse if she told you to cook another meal.

yellowdinosauragain · 31/05/2015 10:37

Did you ask her if there was anything they /she wouldn't eat?

fuzzywuzzy · 31/05/2015 10:38

I'd let her and get on with our meal

drbonnieblossman · 31/05/2015 10:38

I'd be hacked off and wouldn't let her make something else in my home. Rude parents make rude children.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 31/05/2015 10:39

Slightly I think. I think if she knew her kids would be quite picky with things she could have let you know beforehand. If I was doing the cooking though, I probably would have asked beforehand, too. "Do your DCs like ???"

ilovesooty · 31/05/2015 10:40

Was she going to provide the ingredients for the alternative meal?

SaucyJack · 31/05/2015 10:40

What was it? Was it something that you would or wouldn't expect the average child to bat an eyelid at?

ChilliMum · 31/05/2015 10:41

Wow yes! I say this as someone with children with very fussy children. I usually just apologise for my children's poor manners insist they try some and then tuck in and enjoy the lovely meal myself. YADNBU.

Only1scoop · 31/05/2015 10:42

Yanbu unless you made something totally bizarre

ChilliMum · 31/05/2015 10:43

Oh my post makes no sense my children are the fussy ones. I have no grandchildren.

MrsHathaway · 31/05/2015 10:44

At least she was honest, and didn't say you had to make something else.

How formal were the arrangements? Was it an ad hoc thing?

What did you make?

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 31/05/2015 10:44

Actually yeah, the "offers to make something else" bit would really annoy me.

FortyFacedFuckers · 31/05/2015 10:44

I would always check if dc eat what I was planning to make if I didn't know the DC well, or I would have a few different things that I was making and give them the choice when they arrived.

cashewnutty · 31/05/2015 10:45

It depends what the meal was, how old her DC are, whether you knew they were a bit fussy etc. we need more info.

ScorpioMermaid · 31/05/2015 10:47

depends on what you cooked really.

I always ask if cooking for someone adults or kids if they like suchandsuch just to save the hassle really. I have kids I know what they can be like. I also know equally fussy adults.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 10:48

We know each other quite well but circumstances mean I haven't cooked for her family before. Her kids are lovely. I made a selection of things including a simple pasta dish hoping that would suffice. Maybe I should have asked. Un the end her kids had cheese sandwiches with bread she brought with her as she thought I wouldn't have any, and we ate what id cooked and she commented that it was nicer than she expected!

OP posts:
MissWimpyDimple · 31/05/2015 10:49

Basically YANBU but it kind of depends what it was. If it was a roast or spag Bol or similar then yes she was very rude.

If it was something that one might assume children might not like, sushi, curry, vegetable heavy things etc then I probably would have checked.

Theycallmemellowjello · 31/05/2015 10:51

No I wouldn't feel annoyed. I try to be generous with friends. Would have been better if she warned you in advance but if it slipped her mind that they're not eating seafood this week it's hardly the worst crime in the world.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 31/05/2015 10:52

She offered to make something else, in your house? Shock

I'd say: Yes, please do that, in your own house. Buh-bye!

Some people have never even heard of good manners.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 10:52

My logical mind is telling me to forget it, she's a lovely friend. I wad just a bit shocked and wondered if she did that with other people. The other things were falafel and hummus and bread, and two different meat and beg curries. And cake and custrad, they all ate that! All homemade.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2015 10:56

I'd be annoyed to.

I'd have asked in advance what sort of things her kids liked. but she also should have said when u invited her that her kids were fussy and won't early stuff.

I'm surprised they wouldn't eat what you made though. pasta and curry is hardly exotic

DampAndRotten · 31/05/2015 10:58

I think your logical mind is correct.

Yes, she should probably have said something earlier about her children being fussy but I don't think it's a big deal.

SaucyJack · 31/05/2015 10:58

She sounds very rude then. And not doing the kids any favours. Pasta, curry and hummus sounds lovely.

When I posted earlier I was thinking more of childless BIL and his extra-hot Thai curries.

CatOfTheForest · 31/05/2015 11:00

Yes I have had this happen. She did say her kids were fussy beforehand, so I had a selection of plain things (bread, mild cheese etc) on offer as well as what I'd cooked, but she still said she would cook what they wanted. I found that very hard, as if I'm cooking I like to be in charge in the kitchen, and it was a bit of a nightmare with her buzzing around cooking something as well. We didn't fall out over it... I suppose I already knew that this friend is a bit random and difficult at times and I just backed off.

I wouldn't do it to someone else though.