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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

you invite a friend and cook a nice meal

168 replies

perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 10:36

And she looks at it and says her kids won't eat it and offers to make something else. Do you feel annoyed?

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 31/05/2015 11:01

wow. Great spread.

You can cook for me any time! Unless they have allergies (which she should have mentioned in advance) she should have at least got them to try your food, as you'd obvs gone to a lot of trouble to prepare.

You can cook for me any time!

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2015 11:02

When you say they are all that do you mean they ate the curries and the hummus or just the custard and the cake. cos if they ate all the other stuff there was plenty of food and no need to make sandwiches.

sounds more like a.point proving attention seeking thing of the kids ate the rest

Collaborate · 31/05/2015 11:02

OP - I think you've also found out why her children are such fussy eaters. YANBU to feel annoyed.

gamerchick · 31/05/2015 11:02

My kids a pain to feed so I feed him before we go anywhere.

The nicer than expected I would have bristled at and never invited them to a meal again.

ilovesooty · 31/05/2015 11:04

nicer than she expected

She doesn't sound lovely. She sounds rude.

Only1scoop · 31/05/2015 11:10

Collaborate has it Grin

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2015 11:10

My sister did that to me while I was staying at Dad's - she said her children wouldn't eat what I'd cooked. They made a liar of her, well 2 out of 3 of them did anyway - the 3rd one, true, she pushed it round her plate and whinged. But she's always been like that with everything. My sister ate less of the dinner than her other 2 children did, and spent time picking out the bits she "didn't recognise like" - but the older 2 wolfed it down and asked for seconds.

If your friend's DC are picky then she should have warned you; but she brought alternatives herself, so that's better than not bringing anything. You also could have asked if there was anything they don't like ahead of time.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 31/05/2015 11:13

But its not at all about how fussy her children are or what they will eat. It's about her manners. When presented with a spread kindly made by a friend, you tell the kids to shut up and fill them up quietly with bread and the cake and custard! You don't in any polite universe announce your kids won't touch the food and make them something else!

LIZS · 31/05/2015 11:14

Yanbu, even if it wasn't their normal diet what sort of example dies it set that they weren't even encouraged to try your cooking. If she knew they would want bread and cheese only she should have told you not to bother to cook for them.

Athenaviolet · 31/05/2015 11:15

Falafel, hummus and curries- I'd think an awful lot of kids wouldn't eat that.

What exactly was your pasta dish.?

Tbh if you were expecting dcs I think you should have made something plainer.

We don't normally give our dcs fish fingers but we always buy them if we are expecting other kids round as ime most kids are fussy pitas!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2015 11:25

Oh she was rude, by the way - she could have at least got her children to try it, and the comment about her being surprised how good it was really was bad!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2015 11:25

Sorry, too many "was"s in that last line! Blush

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2015 11:26

No, even worse, it's correct I just misread it second time around - gah!

ItsRainingInBaltimore · 31/05/2015 11:29

I think it would have been a really good idea to check with her ahead of time whether there were things her children wouldn't eat. You say a 'simple pasta dish' but I know someone who served a 'simple pasta dish' to a bunch of children and none of them but her own would eat it, because it was a macaroni cheese but with celery and onions in it! Her kids had been brought up to eat it like that but everyone else's kids were horrified! She was really put out - it just never occurred to her that they wouldn't all be fine with celery. Confused These were all children under 10.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2015 11:30

athena

I'd be gutted if I went somewhere and got dished up a lovely meal while the kids got fish fingers.

The op served enough other bits for there to he enough to make up a meal if some of it was rejected.

Trills · 31/05/2015 11:52

"Nicer than she expected" suggests that SHE is also quite fussy or restricted in what she eats.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 15:54

Sorry didn't ha chance to come back to this. Nice to see most people would have felt the same, but I can see the other side as well. Just something I would never do really. If we eat at someones house I won't force the kids to eat something if they object, but wouldn't try and give them anything else either. I was a bit hurt I think, she's done a lot for me in the past and I wanted her to enjoy a nice meal. Not a big deal though.now its off my chest, thanks mn!

Oh and to answer the questions the pasta has mushroom a d sweetcorn in it, and when i said they all ate it I meant the cake and custard.

OP posts:
Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 15:59

I i completely agree. I've been brought up to not make any comments about the food at someone roses house other than 'how lovely'!

OP posts:
Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 16:01

Stupid phone, last post was aimed at wimterofdiscounttents

OP posts:
Mintyy · 31/05/2015 16:01

Yanbu to feel cross about this.

On what planet is it ok to accept an invitation to eat and then want to get in the host's way by fannying around in her kitchen pandering to your fussy children??! Fgs, if you think your children really aren't going to eat anything you haven't made yourself then bring some fucking sandwiches or feed them beforehand.

God, I'm really REALLY annoyed on your behalf op!

momtothree · 31/05/2015 16:13

My kids are told that we are eating at x house and they are to try it and not complain. They can eat at home later if hungry. She wad rude and her kids bad mannered!!

WonderingWillow · 31/05/2015 16:17

YANBU that would annoy me.

The fact she came prepared with stuff for cheese sandwiches means she couldn't even be bothered to make them try it. She'd already decided before she came over, in which case; why accept an invite to tea?!

She does sound rude.

Eigg · 31/05/2015 18:24

I feel your pain. We had a party last Christmas for several families. I made a huge buffet, 3 or 4 different 'main' options, a selection of cold meat, selection of bread, rice, baked potatoes and a range of accompaniments. One of my sibling's kids are very fussy but they would have eaten a selection if what was provided so I thought I'd got it covered.

One if the Mum's walked into the dinning room, barely glanced at the table and said 'I can tell you right now my kids won't eat that'.

I was a bit gobsmacked but said politely 'can I get them something else' (meaning something quick like sandwiches, cheese on toast or an omelet). She said 'yes please mince and potatoes'.

I'd spent hours already in the kitchen that day slaving there was no way I was going to stand to make bloomin mince and tatties!

I less politely declined and with much sighing she accepted toast.

They areusually a nice couple but they won't be invited for dinner again any time soon.

Original poster
perfectlybroken · 31/05/2015 18:56

Good heavens eigg, mince and potatoes!!

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 31/05/2015 19:25

Her better than expected remark was very rude - I'm always gobsmacked that people say things like this, I would pretty much eat my way through anything however foul and compliment the person who had prepared it for me because I appreciate the effort people have gone to (and I speak as someone who has been served boiled pureed courgette with tabasco sauce stirred into it as a main course.) And I'd have thought that there was something in the food you;d prepared that her children could have been encouraged to try a bit of,however fussy they are.

I am laughing in amazement at mince and tatties woman - un-bloody-believable !

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