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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to obbsess over an ignored message?

354 replies

SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 05:45

A superior at work has helped me loads in my job and we get on famously. Few months back we exchanged numbers and we've reached a comfortable stage where we've gone for a couple quick coffees after work when he's in town. He's shared pictures of his lovely kids with me as well, so we've become quite friendly.

Today at work I sent him a message to say happy new year to him and his family and to thank him for all his help this year.

This was in the morning. And there has been no response at all.

This is jarring because he's always quick to reply and if he's busy he will say so and respond in more detail a few hours later.

Without going into detail I know he read the message and I know today wasn't a busy day at work for anybody. So it's apparent he just ignored the message deliberately.

Given the positive note things have been on, I don't understand why he just didn't reply?! I can't think of anything I may have done to offend so I'm completely puzzled here.

I know I shouldn't take this so seriously but I can't stop obsessing over it.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 01/01/2015 05:47

You must know you are overthinking it surely!

Redglitter · 01/01/2015 05:49

he's probably been busy or thinks he's replied or didn't realise he had to reply in a certain time frame

You're totally over thinking things you don't know what he might have been doing today.

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 05:51

But isn't it a bit odd and maybe even rude to just read and completely ignore a message like that? I know I wouldn't ignore something like this even if I was having a busy day. And it's completely out of character which makes me think I've done something unknowingly to offend!

OP posts:
KnackeredMerrily · 01/01/2015 05:52

At the risk of sounding like a teenager it kind of reads that you 'like like' him....

MrsMcColl · 01/01/2015 05:53

Over-thinking, but many of us have been there! Tell me - do you fancy him a bit?

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 05:55

No, he's just a friend and colleague. I wouldn't complicate my life by 'liking' him. But I'm very fond of him!

OP posts:
TurnOverTheTv · 01/01/2015 05:58

I often read messages on my phone, then totally forget to reply. I wouldn't be bothered if I didn't get a reply, it wasn't something that needed an answer.

MrsMcColl · 01/01/2015 06:00

I have a friend and colleague who I've complicated my life by 'liking'. I'd mind if he didn't respond to a message, and would fret like you are. Other friends/colleagues - not so much.

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 06:01

Ok, maybe it just me then Confused I wouldn't ignire a New Years message from a friend or colleague.

Also, I hadn't messaged on his phone.

OP posts:
musicalendorphins2 · 01/01/2015 06:20

Could be anything, a migraine, low battery, bad connection, who knows? I forgot to charge my phone and when I did a couple of days, later I had messages I didn't reply to, as I had seen the senders since they sent them. I often scan my messages but if not feeling well, don't always reply right then and there, and easy to get busy and totally forget this time of year. And when we go away, to the place we vacation at has poor cell reception, we can receive texts, but have to go outside the house to reply, or to use the phone.

musicalendorphins2 · 01/01/2015 06:23

Oh boy, please forgive the errors in punctuation and typos. Blush

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 06:26

It wasn't a text. Didn't message his phone.

OP posts:
GahLinDah · 01/01/2015 06:27

I think you're overthinking it. I often read texts, intend to reply and then forget. It's NY he's probably got a million and one family and work related things on his mind.

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 06:28

IT WASNT A TEXT.

OP posts:
GahLinDah · 01/01/2015 06:29

Calm down love. Hmm

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 06:31

Messaged on the office system. And I know he read it. So there's no excuse here for low battery, bad reception etc.

OP posts:
TanteRose · 01/01/2015 06:31

Keep your hair on!
What was it then, carrier pigeon?

ArsenicFaceCream · 01/01/2015 06:31

Same thing applies to FB message, email etc.

He saw it, meant to reply, forgot.

31st Dec could have been a busy day for him in terms of making party/family arrangements.

Original poster
SalsaOnCrackers · 01/01/2015 06:32

Sorry, I don't mean to be a bitch!! Excuse the shouty capitals.

OP posts:
TanteRose · 01/01/2015 06:32

Oh ok email?

He probably had found himself "liking" you and is now embarrassed

magpieginglebells · 01/01/2015 06:33

You are massively overthinking. This is the kind of thing that I would read, think that's nice I must reply later and then forget. I know you say you don't have feelings for him but that's the impression your OP gives.

ArsenicFaceCream · 01/01/2015 06:34

Any chance his wife saw it and wasn't happy? Maybe detected a frisson?

Feellikescrooge · 01/01/2015 06:34

You sound like my Year 10 pupils! Maybe he forgot he hadn't replied to you, there are a lot of HNY messages to reply to. Maybe he was talking to someone else and forgot, maybe he was with his family. I think you need to stop behaving like a teenager, it is bad enough when they do!

PrettyLittleMitty · 01/01/2015 06:34

I think you arobsessing over HIM, not the message. Is he attached? If so, you need to move on.

Iggly · 01/01/2015 06:34

OK step back. People forget sometimes. He might have been busy rushing around especially if he was off work the next few days. He's your boss right, so will have stuff that you might not be aware of.

and you're clearly falling for him

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