to think I didn't make a "smug" comment?

[DeepEndOfTheOcean]

It was a colleagues last day on Friday (as she is leaving to go traveling). I have recently announced that I'm pregnant (pfb)

Colleague was asking me about the future, due date/scans/maternity leave etc and I asked her about where exactly she was going to travel to. I said to her -

"I'd have love to have done something like that, but I guess I chose love over travel"

Apparently this was a smug remark?

Aibu to think it wasn't?

Who said it was smug?

I think I would have thought it a bit smug, to be honest.

Um. Is she single? It's maybe a bit smug. But I think you know that!

Definitely smug.

And very odd.

It could be taken as smug. Depends on your the of voice/ body language etc.

It sounds utterly smug to me- the implication is that your colleague doesn't have the option of love but you did.

I can fully accept you didn't mean it to be smug but it would have made me cringe to hear it.

A little smug. Is it a choice? Can't you have live and travel

Perhaps clumsily worded, but I get what you mean, and wouldn't have thought smug.

It sounds more bitter and bitchy than smug - I guess she will do the baby thing after she's sren the world.

It could be taken as smug I think.

I understand it wasn't meant that way and I can remember one occasion where I said something that was taken as smug when it really wasn't intended to be, so I sympathise. I think we've all had moments where something just comes out sounding wrong.

But yes, seeing it written down like that, I can really see why the person took what you said to be smug. Sorry.

Um - yep, that was a bit smug . Why not just remind her that you've got a husband/partner that you're madly in love with and a baby on the way - and she hasn't, which is why she has to take the inferior option of travelling - and be done with it

Sounds very smug and you sounded like a pa arse tbh. Love over traveling? Can you not see how that came across

It could be seen as being at bit ... smug ... yes.

Especially if the colleague has had a tough time re:love/relationships.

I'd be sad if someone said that to me and I was still single (assuming she is)

Id feel sorry for somebody who said that to my face. So, more pitiful than smug. I'm not saying your comment was pitiful, just that if somebody had said it to me, I'd have felt sorry for them in that moment. Feeling that it was down to simple choices, that it was one or the other.......

It's insensitive I suppose. She hasn't yet found love. She knows that and she'd probably go travelling even if she had, so your comment was a bit of a non-sequitur.

Really, really smug. YABU.

Definitely smug, and it suggests she is choosing the worse option, and/or draws attention to the fact she isn't in a relationship herself.

It's a bit cringeworthy. And, yes, does seem to somehow imply that your choices are more valid than hers. Like travel is something you do when you've got no where else to go.
Does of course depend on how it was said.

Sounds rather nauseating to me rather than smug.

It does sound smug, I'm afraid. Also slightly bizarre (love and travel not being mutually exclusive). If you meant you can't travel now cause you are having a baby instead then maybe best to say just that.

It's self-satisfied.

If I was the traveller I would think you sounded a bit envious to be honest.

I would have interpreted it as a dig at me, tbh.

It sounds like a dig towards a spouseless colleague. Is he/she single?