to think I didn't make a "smug" comment?

[DeepEndOfTheOcean]

It was a colleagues last day on Friday (as she is leaving to go traveling). I have recently announced that I'm pregnant (pfb)

Colleague was asking me about the future, due date/scans/maternity leave etc and I asked her about where exactly she was going to travel to. I said to her -

"I'd have love to have done something like that, but I guess I chose love over travel"

Apparently this was a smug remark?

Aibu to think it wasn't?

It's a ridiculous thing to say, why not say 'sounds great, where are you going to' instead of a cringeworthy comment about 'choosing love' .

Sorry OP but it does seem a very odd thing to say and yes i think it sounds smug. However as you didnt mean it to aound like it did, id forget about it.

Smug. And a little nasty too.

It was smug. Travel option sounds nice though.

Smug and cringe worthy I'm afraid.

You made a smug comment. So what?

The OP doesn't think it's smug is the problem. If she had come on here and said 'Oh no, I really put my foot in it by saying this - how can I make it up to my colleague?' but she not only said it, but stands by it and thinks that the person calling her smug is wrong. I think that's what's making people riled, not that she may have said something inadvertently offensive.

A bit cringey, would be my reaction, if I was the person going travelling. I would then forget all about it tbh.

pretty poor. I went travelling not long after my first (of many, as it turned out) miscarriages. I had love (had been with DH 4 years by that point) but had never been travelling so it was a good opportunity.

If you had said that to me, I may have punched you burst into tears.

oh well when you are covered in puke and milk and your husband is down the pub and she is sunning herself on Bondi Beach ......

I'd probably have vommed on your shoes if you'd said that to me.

But then I'm ten weeks pregnant. I'd probably have vommed on your shoes anyway.

DoJo Yes. I got that.

I meant: Yes. It was indeed smug. But so what? It's still not a big deal.

Even if she does go "Oh gosh! I'm so embarrassed" as everyone's clearly wanting. What should she do besides just let it go and move on?

Bit cringeworthy but I wouldn't think of it as smug.

[hands Daphne a flat ginger beer]

As another person who has gone on exciting travels to recover from a miscarriage, I probably would have wanted to slap you too OP. Sorry.

Even if your colleague has no intention of having babies, it's still a really odd thing to say.

Does sound smug to me. Ive had women remarking that their priorities are their children if I mention im going away somewhere. Depending on who it is and if I like them I'll let it pass or make a comment about wanting to see places and do things before turning into a mum-bot.

Bit of a strange comment.

Why not just something like enjoy or have fun...sound less wanky than what you said.

Are you ok OP? Dont feel so bad, I dont think any of us can claim weve never said something that has come out so differently from how we meant it that we cringe our arses off when we come to realise

Hang on a minute, I don't think its fair to say you would want to smack OP because you have had a miscarriage. She said love- not babies. Jesus.

Yes OP was smug sounding, but no need for all this vitriol.

(This is coming from someone go has had a chemical pregnancy)

Oh it's really really smug.

Smug, I'm afraid!

Because of the implication that the only way to experience real love is through a successful pregnancy. Which I know isn't what the OP meant, but I personally felt very over-sensitive after losing a desperately wanted baby.

I wouldn't slap anyone. But I would have thought she sounded smug.

I think that if I'd heard that conversation, I'd have been thinking 'Bloody hell, where did that come from?'

It sounds like a real slap-down. If you didn't mean it like that, it might be worth clearing things up with her.

Smug yes. Teeth grittingly smug. And the fact that you don't realise is even worse.

I think it would probably come across as a really spiteful thing to say- I can't imagine in what context it wouldn't be seen as at least a little nasty (sorry!)
But the fact that you didn't realise means you can definitely explain what you meant by it and apologise and make it all ok.
We all say stupid things sometimes

Even if it wasn't a smug comment, you had no need to comment on your choices. It smacks of self-importance, as if you're saying what she's doing is frivolous and meaningless whereas you were ever so humble to forego that option for big ol' love and babies.

I know you were probably only trying to relate to her and we don't have a rewind button, but you could have left it at the fact that you'd have loved to do something like that. And you know what? You still can. See the world - love won't stand in your way!