to think I didn't make a "smug" comment?

[DeepEndOfTheOcean]

It was a colleagues last day on Friday (as she is leaving to go traveling). I have recently announced that I'm pregnant (pfb)

Colleague was asking me about the future, due date/scans/maternity leave etc and I asked her about where exactly she was going to travel to. I said to her -

"I'd have love to have done something like that, but I guess I chose love over travel"

Apparently this was a smug remark?

Aibu to think it wasn't?

Sorry Mintyy, was a bit busy deleting the troll hunting there...

Can we please re-iterate that if folks have concerns re posters we do ask for reports rather than live hunting sessions. Thanks.

I have a couple of single friends who go travelling a lot and have admitted to me that they do a lot of the trips to relieve the loneliness they feel - they would be crushed by the OP's comment.

My friend and I married in the same year. We were out for diner in a group and I mentioned my fiancé had just been promoted and joked that I was marrying him for his earning potential.

Friend "how sad. I'm marrying for love."

It does come across very a bit smug even if you didn't mean it to. I'd have bristled slightly at that and told you to combine sex and travel by fucking off.

It sounds like a line from a bad rom com.

If I Am invited out and I don't fancy it, instead of saying 'I don't fancy it' In future I shall say 'I chose love'.

JohnFarley

"I chose love" is so going to feature in my vocabulary from now on!

I would just think you were a bit of a weirdo/prat/nutter.

Years ago, over a pint, as an acquaintance was lamenting some situation with a bloke she liked but wasn't sure liked her back, I said in some sort of hamfisted attempt at, I don't know what: "Phew! I'm so glad I don't have to go through all that stuff any more". Because I'd recently got married.

I honestly didn't mean it to sound like a hateful smug thing to say but it very much did, and she called me on it, and she was quite right too.

Colleague will have the last laugh when she's sipping cocktails watching the sunset whilst op is sleep deprived and up to her armpits in shitty nappies.

Poor OP. It was ill judged thing to say to your friend, even if not smug.

My friend didn't join me on our gap year travelling together "I'm sorry to let you down. I love him too much!" said with simper and wringing of hands. She regrets it now, the boyfriend long gone, and wishes she'd chosen travel and good times. We were laughing recently we couldn't remember his surname.

Not the same thing I know

That reminds me of the girl who turned down the chance to be in Girls Aloud because she didn't want it to affect her relationship with her boyfriend. They split up. Few years later.

very smug

or more likely

trying to convenience yourself that you have no regrets waits to be told this is not true

why not just say have a wonderful time

Whether the OP thinks she made a smug comment is irrelevant. A large proportion of people on this thread thought it ill judged, nauseating or smug so it's unsurprising that the colleague appears to have thought the same.

I hope you're sitting down OP, I'm about to blow your mind.

DH and I went travelling TOGETHER.

(We also have a child and have never once had to resort to spiteful little comments to make other people feel shit about the choices they've made & the hand they've been dealt.)

Did she think it was smug? Or is it other people apart from MN ?

I have conversations of this sort with my child-free colleague who goes all over the world with her DH, while I camp with my family in France. I envy her jollies, of course. And I say I have chosen domestic bliss and must live vicariously through her experiences. She does not envy my children but knows I am happy with my lot. It's just chat.

at JohnFarleysRuskin though. I feel a new line coming on...

It is definitely smug.

OP has disappeared ........... I went travelling after my first love broke my heart. I wouldn't have thanked anyone for reminding me that they had true love and a baby

Smug to the power of smug. And patronising and passive aggressive and sickening too. You should get a medal OP :o

Smug.

I wish I had been travelling before getting up duffed. I would just say that though. Oh lucky you, I am so jealous.

Ha ha ha. I can see the nursery bunting now:

\C/ \H/ \O/ \O/ \S/ \E/ \L/ \O/ \V/ \E/

I wouldn't have interpreted it as smug. Practically the opposite actually 'I would have loved to travel, but I got tied down.'

Which isn't even true, plenty of parents travel, with or without their kids.

PMSL at Cheery's bunting

Smug, condescending and envious is what it sounds like to me.

Who was it who called it smug?

I think it was smug and if I was her I would also be very hurt by it.

I hope your baby doesn't sleep