to think I didn't make a "smug" comment?

[DeepEndOfTheOcean]

It was a colleagues last day on Friday (as she is leaving to go traveling). I have recently announced that I'm pregnant (pfb)

Colleague was asking me about the future, due date/scans/maternity leave etc and I asked her about where exactly she was going to travel to. I said to her -

"I'd have love to have done something like that, but I guess I chose love over travel"

Apparently this was a smug remark?

Aibu to think it wasn't?

Urgh. Smug and unnecessary. I'm glad someone told you how it sounded.

Gosh, am I the only one who thinks it does not sound smug in the least little bit?

She's just saying "lucky you!".

Ouch. Last train to Smugsville is departing; all aboard.

Yep - 'fraid so Mintyy

Oh poor OP!

OP, you clearly didn't mean it the way it sounds, I think you should contact your friend / colleague and apologise for the way it sounded. We've all said things that don't come out right, at least you know now and can set this straight.

I relate to mrsfrumble. Saying 'I chose love' is smug to a woman who might have had no choice in why she doesn't have any children. It also sounds smug because it suggests that the other woman notably less love to speak of in her life.

If it wasn't meant that way, fair enough, but I think that any comments comparing being happily pregnant and filled with love to being childless should be said with caution.

Ah well, its nice to stand out from the crowd occasionally.

That's one way of looking at

That sounds incredibly smug. I say that as someone in a long term relationship. I'd never think to say that. I would openly cringe if I heard someone say that.

Sheeeeshes

Yes agree with almost everyone else, it was either badly phrased or your abit socially inept (no offense, me too) ya still bu.
Very funny though, thankyou.

Really Mintyy? I think she's saying, 'Poor you, lucky me!' How are you arriving at 'lucky you' from the comment?

Smug, No.
Vomit inducing, most definitely.

Then why not just say lucky you?

What's love got to got tah dooo with it?

I think it sounds very 1950s i.e you can be married/have children. Or you can be independent, go travelling etcetera.

Personally I think love comes in all sorts of different packages. There's love as in passing romance, passionate affairs, longer term commitments. There's same sex love and opposite sex love. Love doesn't necessarily equate to stopping at home in a little house shopping for baby equipment.

You sound as if your horizons are currently rather limited. I hope they don't stay that way for ever.

It was the "I'd have loved to have done something like that" part of it that gave it away.

She's saying, I've gone down this route, but I kind of regret it because I'm not going to have the freedom to travel that you have.

Obviously.

Sorry, yes a bit smug, although I get not intentionally.

I have a lovely friend who has gone on some amazing holidays to help her recover from her recurrent mcs. She'd be too nice to say anything but that sort of comment would hurt her deeply.

It's not smug, unless you believe that being single is a tragedy like most posters on here seem to .

If i were her I would be feeling so happy to be going travelling and would feel trapped to not be able to because I was stuck in a relationship.

Btw who was it that told you, OP?

Do you have to choose one or the other? It was quite rude and insensitive I am afraid OP.

I don't really understand your comment, as being in love doesn't mean that you can't go travelling. I know plenty of couples who have travelled together

So I would have to take your comment as smugness because otherwise it doesn't make sense.

The fact you are expecting a baby kind of changes the sentiment, if what you meant was that you chose a baby over travelling, but if I were you I wouldn't have put it like that. I'm currently pregnant, and have had similar conversations with people I know who are doing things which are more difficult with children, for eg travelling, but they have tended to be a bit more of the jealous on my part, "so I suppose my days of doing that are over" kind of conversation, rather than, "I have chosen to dedicate my life to the selfless task of raising babies rather than selfishly jetting off all over the world" kind of thing.

Or something.

You're not alone Mintyy, finally!

PrincessBabyCat Apologise for being thoughtless?

Agreeing with everyone else OP, YABU to think it isn't.

Question is,have you read the responses here and thought more on it? Or just decided we're all wrong.

Oof. I dunno about smug, but "I chose love" is very funny.

If you said it with a kind of sick wtf expression on your face, it might not have come across as too bizarre.

Sounds smug to me.