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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To write "no siblings, please" on DS's party invites?

170 replies

MumsyFoxy · 07/05/2014 19:16

Last year my DS had his birthday party here at home. It's not a huge house.
Two parents dropped off their respective DCs AND their other children (who had not been invited and who are not friends with my DS); they didn't even ask if it was ok. To make it worse, when one came to pick up her DC, she wouldn't put thrir shoes+jackets on but told me she'd wait in the car (guess who had to do it!!)
This year I thought I should clarify "no siblings" on their invites.
AIBU?

OP posts:

HavannaSlife · 07/05/2014 19:17

Bloody hell, yes and refuse to let any in! Bouncers on the door maybe

sassysally · 07/05/2014 19:19

whaaaat?? what a damned cheek! YANBU to stipulate no sibs!!

GertBySea · 07/05/2014 19:19

I think "sorry, no siblings" is better. But YANBU in your idea!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/05/2014 19:21

Def NBU, people do like to take the piss.

WitchWay · 07/05/2014 19:21

"no siblings, thank you"

Stropzilla · 07/05/2014 19:23

Oh yes. Make it clear. I had someone bring a sibling twice the invited child's age and was told "they come as a package". Poor kid looked embarrassed and a bit bored!

PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 19:24

Uhm.. These people know that it's a birthday party, not a babysitting service, right?

Topseyt · 07/05/2014 19:24

If one of my kids was invited to a party I never assumed that their siblings were invited too. How rude of those people.

On the odd occasion I needed to stay at a party I did usually have to have my other children with me as I usually had nobody to leave them with. I always took care of them though, and kept them amused myself. To do otherwise would be taking the piss.

If some twat told me she would wait in the car whilst I put jackets and shoes on her kids then I think she would be waiting rather a long time because I wouldn't do it. You have quite enough to be getting on with if you are hosting a birthday party anyway.

In the circumstances, I don't think it is unreasonable to put "no siblings", though it is rather shocking that you should actually need to IMHO.

Bowlersarm · 07/05/2014 19:25

No YANBU. They had a flipping cheek.

KatieKaye · 07/05/2014 19:26

TBH, I wouldn't.
On the grounds that there are still a few people who believe that the only person invited is the one named on the invite and would wonder what you are talking about.

But I would stand at the door, welcome the invited child inside and smile sweetly at the mother as you shut the door. You are under no obligation to pander to her rudeness at trying to foist her other children onto you. There is no automatic expectation that anyone other than the named child is invited to the party, especially if your DC isn't even friends with them. If the mother protests, remind her that your invitation was very clear and only invited child X to the party.

Thetimes123 · 07/05/2014 19:27

Say you'll charge 10 pound an hour for any extra sibling

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 07/05/2014 19:30

Stropzilla, how inconsiderate towards you (and their own DC) to say "they come as a package"!

Topseyt, totally agree!
I had considered not inviting the kids whose parents took the piss last year, but my DS really wants them here so I have to think of the right thing to do as the house will be crowded.
I worry- what if these parents will "miss" the polite request on the invites???

OP posts:

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 19:30

You shouldn't have to but some people are beyond rude.

Mind you I am soft but even I wouldn't have accepted siblings dropped off and parents leaving them at your house.

Stand up for yourself girl.

AlistairSim · 07/05/2014 19:31

Who are these people?!

I've never heard of this in rl but would really love to meet some these dreadful types, it would make life so interesting.

MistressDeeCee · 07/05/2014 19:32

Used to happen a bit when DCs were younger. I hated it, especially when the siblings were few years older than my DC & the party guests, it was awkward sometimes. Especially if they weren't also friends with DC. Also I didnt always have loads of extra food/party bags for any siblings. Id feel as if on the parents side it was a case of "oh good 1 of the DCs has had a party invite, I can drop all the DCs there leave the host to it, go home/out have a few hours to myself". I did start writing "apologies, no siblings due to lack of space" or something similar on invites as some parents are just barefaced and only a direct approach will work

DuckandCat · 07/05/2014 19:32

I can't believe people would do this [shocked]

I think it's fine to put 'no siblings' on the invitation, although it's shocking that you would need to.

I think need to get tough this time and turf out any uninvited children, don't let people take the piss!

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 07/05/2014 19:32

Stropzilla, how inconsiderate towards you (and their own DC) to say "they come as a package"!

OP posts:

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 19:33

As for they come as a package fuck that.

Your response not to my house cheeky cow.

Bowlersarm · 07/05/2014 19:34

If you know the culprits who might take the piss, could you just write on their invitation rather than generally?

EatDessertFirst · 07/05/2014 19:34

YANBU

Cheeky moo!! On the one occasion I had to take younger DS to a (softplay) party that DD was invited to I called and asked if it was ok that he was present. But I would never have expected him to be catered for/paid for/allowed to join in. I paid for him then sat in the baby bit with him while DD enjoyed the party.

wowfudge · 07/05/2014 19:36

Unbelievable - what a rude person that mother is!

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 19:36

They may miss it but then it's up to you to say sorry you can't have them so you will have to take them home.

You may need to be very direct. Keep shutting the door between guests and only let in the invited child. Be brisk and polite but firm

ajandjjmum · 07/05/2014 19:36

MumsyFoxy
What a cheek! I'd probably just write 'No siblings' on the invites to those who dumped the whole family last year though - presumably the others aren't going to suddenly loose their manners!

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 19:38

Actually I just know the mood for a good old ruck. Can I come op to be the bouncer. I promise I won't bring kids.

FatalCabbage · 07/05/2014 19:38

"Unfortunately we cannot accommodate siblings, but do feel free to 'drop and run' at 2pm" has worked for me.

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