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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To write "no siblings, please" on DS's party invites?

170 replies

MumsyFoxy · 07/05/2014 19:16

Last year my DS had his birthday party here at home. It's not a huge house.
Two parents dropped off their respective DCs AND their other children (who had not been invited and who are not friends with my DS); they didn't even ask if it was ok. To make it worse, when one came to pick up her DC, she wouldn't put thrir shoes+jackets on but told me she'd wait in the car (guess who had to do it!!)
This year I thought I should clarify "no siblings" on their invites.
AIBU?

OP posts:

Topseyt · 07/05/2014 19:39

It would be tempting to point the phrase out to them, Mumsy. Though I can see it would be awkward. They would deserve it though.

As someone else said, you are offering a birthday party, not a babysitting service. There is no reason why all siblings from any given family should come as a "job-lot" to anything.

TruJay · 07/05/2014 19:41

Wow i cant believe u need to, how rude of some of your previous guests. I was going to say there was no need to write that on the invites but in your case it is a must, bloody hell. I would never leave any siblings at a party just one of them was invited to. I mean some parents do have all children with them like at a soft play party where parents usually stay but usually they keep them away from the party and entertain them separately, surely?? Some people are just down right cheeky!
Parties at home are hard enough without additional unexpected guests!

Original poster

MumsyFoxy · 07/05/2014 19:42

Thebodylovesspring- splendid idea!!

OP posts:

KnittedJimmyChoos · 07/05/2014 19:42

But op why didnt you go back when they were first dropped off and say....these children are not invitred there is no room!

GreenEyedGoblin · 07/05/2014 19:43

I would just write it on the invites of the people who did it last year tbh.

I would hate for a couple of children to not come because i'd put a general 'no siblings' on the invitations, if they happen to have at toddler and no childcare for instance...the decent people who would ask if it was OK to bring a sibling and look after them themselves etc wouldn't ask, meaning the child would lose out.

Thetimes123 · 07/05/2014 19:45

What if they had multiple siblings - oh no.

KatieKaye · 07/05/2014 19:46

But it isn't "unfortunate" you cannot accommodate siblings - that makes it sound like you would love to have the invited child's ten brothers and sisters and almost begs some entitled parent to push their tiny to forward with "You can squeeze a little one in!"
It also sounds like you are apologising for expecting only the invited guest to turn up, which might just leave the door open for more rudeness.

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 19:50

Mumsy

Trouble is knitted some people are so rude it takes you by suprise and you don't act out of sheer amazement at their cheek.

Gurnie · 07/05/2014 19:51

Wow, what are some people like?! I've had a couple of parents ask me if they could bring their other child when Dd was younger and it was a big party so it was fine but to just turn up with them like that is incredibly rude. How horrible that you are having to write that and then steel yourself to be a bouncer on the day! I feel for you!

Itsfab · 07/05/2014 19:51

Do it and don't invite the offending mothers.

I am still mortified I invited 2 dc to a party the other was invited too because they year before we were told we could bring all three. It was more I didn't want to leave ds but of course I should have sent dh to stay with him. Not that it makes it any better but I did give 3 presents.

everlong · 07/05/2014 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drinkingtea · 07/05/2014 19:53

If its a drop-off YANBU; I have only once come across this, with my very entitled neighbor, but I have learnt I have to be rude to her. When parents are expected to stay it is a whole different thing, as you are sometimes really putting people out to insist they stay but have to find a babysitter for siblings, but there is no excuse for dropping off uninvited extra children!

alemci · 07/05/2014 19:57

can't believe the rude people. could you not invite the dcs with pushy parents from last year full stop so you are not put in that position

poorbuthappy · 07/05/2014 19:58

1 mum brought not only a younger sibling, but also 2 friends who I didn't know, who were then offended when they didn't get a balloon and sweets at the end.

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 07/05/2014 20:00

When the offending parties RSVP, you then text/email - just to clarify your misunderstanding from last year, the RSVP is for x only. We will be unable to accommodate y and understand if you are unable to "split the package".

Gurnie · 07/05/2014 20:00

Poorbuthappy....that is awful!

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 07/05/2014 20:01

Sorry pressed post too soon ... Otherwise you'll have the cheeky bitch gossiping about your invite.

Hulababy · 07/05/2014 20:04

I have included No Siblings before. Never been an issue.

poorbuthappy · 07/05/2014 20:04

She was well known for her general neckiness.
Her finest moment was when she was collecting 1 child from a soft play party. This place has a clear policy that siblings at parties have to pay.
She strolled in with 2 adult friends, 3 extra kids on the premise of collecting (so didn't pay anything to get in), sat down, got comfy and was promptly asked to leave it pay by the manager.
We sniggered a lot.

Gurnie · 07/05/2014 20:08

Ok......one of those Poor! She sounds "fun"!

Aeroflotgirl · 07/05/2014 20:09

Yanbu physical say sat tge bottom, that the invite is for the named child only, no siblings

Sicaq · 07/05/2014 20:12

I worry- what if these parents will "miss" the polite request on the invites???

On the day, have at hand:

a) a copy of the invites to brandish said wording, and
b) a printed list of nearby attractions (parks, cafes, cinema, big Asda) where said rude fecker and sibling may pass the time. (Naturally you only have such a list as you knew some thoughtful parents would request this info so as not to intrude, not because you were fully expecting such darned cheek )

HerRoyalNotness · 07/05/2014 20:15

I was away with work and DH had to take DS1 to a party. I strictly told him, it's the Mumsnet rule, no siblings, so take DS2 to do something. When he got there, only 2 children had turned up (out of a class invite!), the mum said DS2 might as well join in too.

DH, bearing in mind my warning, politely declined as he'd told DS2 he'd take him to a fast food place for lunch.....Turned out said fast food place is closed on Sundays, but he followed the rule.

wearymum73 · 07/05/2014 20:21

My sister had a party a few weeks ago, every single parent left their older/younger sibling at the party and then left. One child said my brother aged 14 didn't want to come as it would all be young kids (it was a party for a 6 year old).
We were so shocked at the level this was accepted!
So def put no siblings...unless u can cater for twice the amount of kids.

GayByrne · 07/05/2014 20:24

I always put no sibs please on the invites. The invitation is for the kid/s named on the fucking envelope.

I would have called them back and said we can't have the little ones/the added ones as there's only so many adults here you fucking imbecile.

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