To write "no siblings, please" on DS's party invites?

[MumsyFoxy]

Last year my DS had his birthday party here at home. It's not a huge house.
Two parents dropped off their respective DCs AND their other children (who had not been invited and who are not friends with my DS); they didn't even ask if it was ok. To make it worse, when one came to pick up her DC, she wouldn't put thrir shoes+jackets on but told me she'd wait in the car (guess who had to do it!!)
This year I thought I should clarify "no siblings" on their invites.
AIBU?

When my kids were wee I used to enjoy going to the toy shop with them to choose the plastic tat for the party bags. I love wind up toys, bouncy balls, stretchy men etc.

No kids yet so not experienced the joys of parties, but I do remember when I was little, Mum only let me have small parties with a few friends (usually videos and sleepovers - which with hindsight seems a canny way of precluding any siblings gate-crashing) or a day out with only one friend because they could not have afforded more. I also remember being picked up for friends' parties by the dads - another canny way to stop siblings showing up at the door with puppy eyes/cheeky parents...

I remember that MrsKoala!!

Am a recent NCgr thanks to Heartbleed thing.

I'm that old that "party bags" when I was little were your slice of birthday cake wrapped up in a party paper napkin and a balloon! that's all we got, anyway.

Same here Thumb - I hate party bags with a passion, which makes me both old and miserable.

Love Me-railment!

she wouldn't put thrir shoes+jackets on but told me she'd wait in the car

Did she mistake you for the staff? I'd have told her to make herself comfortable in the car as I wasn't putting on any child's shoes and jackets.

I'd've sent them out in their socks!

Well, I probably wouldn't, but sheesh!

only had one dc come uninvited. It may have been a cultural thing because in the mum's culture everyone in the community would help with each others dc except it only seemed to work one way with this family.

My ds was 4 and it was quite a big party at the church. there was only me and my dh and a teenager who was doing magic for the dc which was great and my dm would have come to help but she had a cold.

can't remember if the lady even came but her yd turned up with her older sister who was about 9 and I was a bit taken aback. Also the lady didn't drive so expected me to sort out transport for her own dc to bring them back home so it was all a bit much.

Actually I've remembered that at pfb's first birthday party - six babies, two pre-school siblings, swimming pool - one woman brought along her next-door neighbour's 9yo. We'd never met the NDN or the daughter before; they arrived early so were in the water before we got there.

It was fine in the end but I still wonder what the fuck she was thinking. If she'd even said quietly "NDN is having a bad time so I thought I'd take her DD out for a bit" then at least I'd have some insight, but nothing!

I always sent packets of seeds as party favours. Something guaranteed to come up quickly. Plus a small packet of bubble gum, and sod parents who didn't approve. I never included cake and none of the DCs ever got cake to take home either. I imagine it would get well and truly smushed in a bag in a car.

People can only take the piss if others allow them to.

As an aside, I really like the seed packet idea for the party favours bag - might steal that for next time!

It worked for me because all but one of the DCs have April and May birthdays. For DD4 (August) I always had a party for a small group because the B-day falls during school holidays and very few people were ever in town. So I usually went to some venue where a small group could make something like painting plates or jewellery, and that is what they took home.

Seeds lovely idea, bubblegum, doesn't bother me but nice attitude

When we had hall type parties for dd we always did food boxes rather than buffet style. The invite RSVP required a response with food and drink choices. I think this made it even more obvious I was only catering, and therefore inviting, the named child.

Worked for us.

alem if it may have been a culture clash do you think the 9 year old was sent as babysitter not party guest, and expected to walk sibling home? I turned down a party where I was expected to stay once, explaining I couldn't stay as I had a commitment, and the organisor suggested I send my eldest in my place... was a club party in a sports hall, not a birthday party, and we live abroad.

no I don't think this was the case as this lady was constantly trying to get other mums to look after her 4 year old after nursery for free so she could work as a nurse.

she probably needed to sleep to work that night so wanted to get rid of ed too then expected someone else to bring them back.

what irritated me was she didn't sort out the lift herself for dc just pushed it onto me etc.

alem just a chancer then! I live next door to one of yhose, who decided all of her own accord that 'd look after her (then) 3 and 5 year old for free while I was on maternity leave, as they are the same age as my older 2 so obviously it would make no difference! Unfortunately the 5 year olds didn't get on, so it was a huge pain (as well as looking after 4 kids limiting my mobility in the afternoons) I initially said (not forcefully enough) that I didn't think that would work, but in the end had to be properly blunt and boarderline rude before she gave up dropping them off - a couple of times she sent them on their own and went to work without checking I was in, and one of those times I wasn't, and got home later to find them sitting on my doorstep, asking me accusingly where I'd been!

Oh my god, tea!