Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

PIL Issue. Need some perspective.

999 replies

NameChangedForPILissue · 17/02/2014 12:42

NC'd for obvious reasons.

PIL are very well off. Rich enough that MIL doesn't and has never worked. FIL earns a huge amount, and is unbelievably tight with it too (refuses to update 25 year old kitchen, 30 year old bathroom, won't buy MIL a new car even though hers is verging on dangerous, won't spend more than £10 per GC at christmas etc).

They are set to become millionaires with some inheritance that is probably due to come in the next year or two. For now they live on their £200k+ a year income with very little expenditure.

For the past 8 years, they have given us money every month to help with our living expenses. It began when DH was at university, before we met, and was the standard parents helping out a child at uni situation. DH always worked PT to top this up.

After leaving uni, DH wasn't able to get a job in his field and so has subsequently had to retrain, and is halfway through that process. This means he is earning low for now as he is studying whilst working so is essentially unskilled. In around 2 years, we hope he will be on a good salary. I am also on a relatively low wage.

We've been married since 2010, and since then they've given us £500 a month to help us out. Obviously, this is very generous and e appreciate this. SIL has had the same.

SIL no longer needs this, as her and her husband have now got high flying careers (lawyer and pilot) and no children, and do FIL has decided to stop all our payments.

We've just moved into a new home, and have a baby due in a few weeks. The timing could not be worse.

DH is so furious he wants to tell him we are cutting him out and never seeing him again. I don't know what to do - is he being selfish and awful? Or is it his money and we should be grateful for what we've had up until now?

OP posts:
Cringechilli · 19/02/2014 10:04

OP if you are still reading (I've not read whole thread) you need to put aside the FIL issue as he isn't giving you the £500 anymore.

Instead, I would start a thread under a different name and post incomings and outgoings so people can give advice about how to get into a better financial position. Eg I saw somewhere in the thread what your car insurance bill was and it was absolutely massive. I think you maybe need to look bit by bit at how things can be cut down.

waltermittymissus · 19/02/2014 10:11

She did Cringe. She just changed all the details!

You really should read the thread. It's very entertaining! Even her DH came on to tell us all off Grin

HauntedNoddyCar · 19/02/2014 10:19

Op could write a piece for the Daily Fail now on being hounded by the vipers and top up the income that way.

See we have helped lots.

Clutterbugsmum · 19/02/2014 10:27

It would be interesting to see what they put on the moneysavingexpert thread on the replies theyt got their as well.

winklewoman · 19/02/2014 10:50

I think she said that moneysavingexpert just said her outgoings exceeded her income and she needed to budget.
I agree that she has made many conflicting claims, and she and her DH were very foolish to base their lifestyle around FIL 's donations, but I think it was unkind of him to stop them without warning. Unless of course there is more to this aspect than we have been told.

Bearbehind · 19/02/2014 12:15

Unless of course there is more to this aspect than we have been told.

I think we can guarantee that's the case winklewoman!

fideline · 19/02/2014 12:43

Doesn't look like we will ever know the truth.

FuschiaChrisAndNigeria · 19/02/2014 13:26

Pedant Grin

Clutterbugsmum · 19/02/2014 13:49

Fideline, no we never know the truth because neither OP or the husband will give the true facts as to what happening so they can get any advice. Mind you I don't think they want any practical help but the Inlaws just to continue funding them for ever.

LessMissAbs · 19/02/2014 14:10

To me, it seems likely that there has been a distortion of the facts to appeal to the intended audience. The figures seem realistic for someone who has a mortgage (as originally claimed) on a 2 bed flat in Edinburgh in a good area such as Stockbridge, with high redemption penalties for the next 18 months. Possibly a mortgage got on an application where the £500 from the PIL was written down as part of the applicants' income and not checked.

Then it all makes perfect sense.

I wonder if the PIL found out some of the missing or misrepresented "facts" and this is behind their withdrawing funding.

Ballsballsballs · 19/02/2014 14:14

LessMiss that sounds like a very plausible explanation.

fideline · 19/02/2014 14:41

Think you might have hit on something Less

lazyhound444 · 19/02/2014 15:57

I started to read the other thread and lost the will to live around page 4. For the "lazy" (i.e. me) can somebody please tell me WHY she couldn't get the working tax credits. Also, if she does live in Stockbridge, her choice of schools is either Stockbridge Primary or Flora Stevenson, both of which have good, solid reputations. Incidentally she mentioned "OFSTED" which doesn't actually exist in Scotland. In conclusion. What a load of shite.

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 15:59

Op could write a piece for the Daily Fail now on being hounded by the vipers and top up the income that way

YES, she could do this.

purplebaubles · 19/02/2014 16:00

Is this still going??!! Shock

Didn't the OP disappear ages ago obviously to work one of her 10 jobs and then go to the expensive gym afterwards

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 16:01

Is this still going??!!

But of course, its MN gold.

lazyhound444 · 19/02/2014 16:03

Can anyone answer my questions before it hits the 1000 mark?:)

DreamingAlice · 19/02/2014 16:03

I am not sure there is all that much mileage about speculating on the detail-for example, where they are actually living- since so many details are confusing, inaccurate and inconsistent.

Incidentally, I once posted a query on MSE and got the hottest flaming of my life for what I thought was a fairly innocent question about child maintenance- soooo, good luck there, OP!

purplebaubles · 19/02/2014 16:04

True Grin To be fair I was rather entertained all day by it on Monday and Tuesday Grin Just the sheer Shock of the entire saga!

I just thought it would have been pulled by now!

purplebaubles · 19/02/2014 16:04

lazy she said she called it Ofsted because otherwise people wouldn't know what she was on about.

We never did get an answer on working tax credits. I asked about 4 times and nada!

Objection · 19/02/2014 16:11

I'm going to be a complete wank badger and steal the last post!

Objection · 19/02/2014 16:11

Three!

Objection · 19/02/2014 16:11

Two!

Objection · 19/02/2014 16:11

One!

YAYYY!!! My first last post!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page