PIL Issue. Need some perspective.

[NameChangedForPILissue]

NC'd for obvious reasons.

PIL are very well off. Rich enough that MIL doesn't and has never worked. FIL earns a huge amount, and is unbelievably tight with it too (refuses to update 25 year old kitchen, 30 year old bathroom, won't buy MIL a new car even though hers is verging on dangerous, won't spend more than £10 per GC at christmas etc).

They are set to become millionaires with some inheritance that is probably due to come in the next year or two. For now they live on their £200k+ a year income with very little expenditure.

For the past 8 years, they have given us money every month to help with our living expenses. It began when DH was at university, before we met, and was the standard parents helping out a child at uni situation. DH always worked PT to top this up.

After leaving uni, DH wasn't able to get a job in his field and so has subsequently had to retrain, and is halfway through that process. This means he is earning low for now as he is studying whilst working so is essentially unskilled. In around 2 years, we hope he will be on a good salary. I am also on a relatively low wage.

We've been married since 2010, and since then they've given us £500 a month to help us out. Obviously, this is very generous and e appreciate this. SIL has had the same.

SIL no longer needs this, as her and her husband have now got high flying careers (lawyer and pilot) and no children, and do FIL has decided to stop all our payments.

We've just moved into a new home, and have a baby due in a few weeks. The timing could not be worse.

DH is so furious he wants to tell him we are cutting him out and never seeing him again. I don't know what to do - is he being selfish and awful? Or is it his money and we should be grateful for what we've had up until now?

What qualification are you studying for incidentally OP's DH??

Isn't this the man who was going to stop the GPS seeing the GC?
I agree with another poster up thread, if your DW is doing three jobs at 8 months get your fecking arse in gear. Where is your shame?

A lot of the language seemed very American to me... "rentals" and "apartments" and also some of the financial ideas - an 18 month lease, no knowledge of WTC, CAB or that a pregnant woman would have a risk assessment at her (three) places of work...

Haha love it, we are the bad guys - no mention from him of threatening to cut contact after spitting his dummy out or the fact he lets his wife work three jobs whilst he studies for yet another qualification with no guaranteed decent job at the end of it

Although still not convinced there are mulitiple jobs given posting times from "both".

On a separate note, my first deletion in ten years!

OP's H - your wife has had literally hundreds of posts offering advice over the last 48 hours. She has refused to engage constructively with anyone, and people are understandably very frustrated.

I suggest that instead of coming on here and telling us all off, you spend your time finding a job which can actually pay for this very expensive lifestyle which you appear to be unwilling or unable to extract yourselves from. Perhaps then, your "heavily pregnant, heavily stressed" wife will be able to have a bit of rest before she gives birth?

And fwiw, I don't think you should be working in a financial services role where you will be in any way responsible for other people's money, given the way that you have handled your own.

Yy perhaps you can enlighten us since your DW seemed unable to.

And perhaps you can tell us how many jobs she's actually working?!

Key stage one maths by the sounds of it Rinoachicken because at the moment there is nothing and no one adding up.

k8

Actually, now you're here, Mr OP, maybe you can give some clearer information, so that people can offer some advice to your heavily-pregnant, massively-overworked wife.

eg
Is your salary 11k or 20k?

What professional qualification are you working towards and what are the financial implications of this in the short term? e.g. pay cut for fees/books etc?

Why can't you get a second job so that the OP can drop one of her three jobs?

Do you pay rent or mortgage?

What steps have you taken re: contracts/lease and getting out of these?

Have you had any sort of conversation with your father regarding some more short-term assistance?

Have you asked your sister about short-term assistance?

Have you sought up-to-date advice regarding your tax credit situation?

So why isn't Mr Man sorting out the finances?

Oh happy mum of one I love it, what ever did you say?!! It's the best laugh I've had in ages!

"or that a pregnant woman would have a risk assessment at her (three) places of work..."

Dont think you need one, OP works from home in her bar job according to the other thread!

Bollocks was that the OPs husband.

This thread is a gift.

A gift from the hairy handed version of Santa Claus.

oh. I am so marking my place now..

OP's husband...it is admirable that you're sticking up for your wife as you should and I'm sure no one here wants to upset her especially as she's heavily pregnant. However, you need to take this burden off her shoulders. You cannot let your heavily pregnant wife work 3 jobs do you understand this?

You are 2 years into an accountancy qualification so use it to manage your money.
Mumsnet is not stressing he out she has been here for 10 years she knows how it works...you are stressing her out. Fix this for your wife's sake.

Oh yuck.

So either the whole thing was one big hoax.

Or somewhere in Edinburgh there is an 8m pregnant woman in a terrible financial situation working 3 jobs for less than minimum wage in conditions that would have been illegal in the 1870s married to a man who is so incapable of taking responsibility for himself that when he sees her understandably distressed by this he decides to self-righteously inform a group of women who had previously supported her through PND on an internet forum that it is their fault.

That would be consistent with wanting to cut-off his parents for not continuing to give him £500 a month.

If it is the latter I am so sorry NeedsMoneyAdvice. Wish you all the best for your pregnancy and remember we'll be here if you ever want to LTB.

Bagofnuts, cant remember exactly lol. Maybe something about the overnight payrise between threads and two jobs disappearing.

oh OP, you have had a really tough time on here. I hate it when mumnet goes this way. Nasty, cutting, not reading the OP's responses, instead just determined to be outraged and snippy. It's unpleasant to read, and must be really unpleasant to be receiving it all.

You have accepted that perhaps you and DH are not right to feel outraged at this turn of events. I do agree that your FIL has not been fair to withdraw the money so quickly and without any warning. He didn't have t give you the money, but he did, and that came with a responsibility.... to give you son a little notice that the money was drying up.

I feel sorry for you, i really do. Honestly, pls hide this thread. You have a ot going on and you are pregnant, don't waste your energies.

Let's not forget it is half term - what a lot of time people have wasted trying to give advice on this thread to someone whose story has more holes than swiss cheese.

Contact your local authority. I've checked and your authority has a number of services which may help including debt and money advice and a welfare rights advisor. All free and confidential.

not reading the OP's responses as opposed to just not RTFT at all lifeisaboxofchocs???!!!

I have! The whole bloody thing!

So you think the OP's inconsistencies are fine and were all just sniping for the sake of it......really