PIL Issue. Need some perspective.

[NameChangedForPILissue]

NC'd for obvious reasons.

PIL are very well off. Rich enough that MIL doesn't and has never worked. FIL earns a huge amount, and is unbelievably tight with it too (refuses to update 25 year old kitchen, 30 year old bathroom, won't buy MIL a new car even though hers is verging on dangerous, won't spend more than £10 per GC at christmas etc).

They are set to become millionaires with some inheritance that is probably due to come in the next year or two. For now they live on their £200k+ a year income with very little expenditure.

For the past 8 years, they have given us money every month to help with our living expenses. It began when DH was at university, before we met, and was the standard parents helping out a child at uni situation. DH always worked PT to top this up.

After leaving uni, DH wasn't able to get a job in his field and so has subsequently had to retrain, and is halfway through that process. This means he is earning low for now as he is studying whilst working so is essentially unskilled. In around 2 years, we hope he will be on a good salary. I am also on a relatively low wage.

We've been married since 2010, and since then they've given us £500 a month to help us out. Obviously, this is very generous and e appreciate this. SIL has had the same.

SIL no longer needs this, as her and her husband have now got high flying careers (lawyer and pilot) and no children, and do FIL has decided to stop all our payments.

We've just moved into a new home, and have a baby due in a few weeks. The timing could not be worse.

DH is so furious he wants to tell him we are cutting him out and never seeing him again. I don't know what to do - is he being selfish and awful? Or is it his money and we should be grateful for what we've had up until now?

Centre of Edinburgh is excellent for bus routes though.

Please tell me this is a windup?!! OP must be on another planet given the hardship many families are facing without free handouts.

She said Scotland but "Even a horrible studio flat in a really dodgy area here is about £650 a month" is not Edinburgh.

... I can't believe I got sucked in enough to post that.

OP, if you genuinely need extra income, start a bidding war between MN and Nethuns to increase their site traffic for a fee. You're golden.

Ah thanks monal. After so many posts you lose track of who said what! Although if it isn't edinburgh, where the hell could it be?

Perhaps she just said Scotland to throw all us forensic harridans off the scent and it's actually Dallas, Texas? Which would explain not being eligible for CTCs and needing a car.

I'm hoping the hated FIL is going to post

Hehe

It must be Edinburgh, but I strongly suspect when OP said "mortgage" thats exactly what she meant and not a code word for rent or whatever rubbish she wants us to believe!

Perhaps she just said Scotland to throw all us forensic harridans off the scent and it's actually Dallas, Texas? Which would explain not being eligible for CTCs and needing a car

Maybe blood hounds on the trail of a fox...noses to the ground racing along...chasing down the pregnant fox...to tear her to pieces...

OP, if you genuinely need extra income, start a bidding war between MN and Nethuns to increase their site traffic for a fee. You're golden

Agree.

However MNHQ have been very quiet on this thread and its been very choppy for op....

Balmoral?

Idratherplayhere. Whatever do you mean? Am surprised your second to last post hasn't been taken off though.

electryone I agree re the mortgage thing. It was originally a house as well, so I suspect bought a house, not renting a flat

You'd definitely need a car if you lived in balmoral, now the post is beginning to make sense. Oh crap you don't think it's the queen do you? That would explain a lot of the inconsistencies on both threads. After all she'd have to pretend to understand the lives of common people.

Bag

It was me who coined the phraseforsenic harridansbut I am wondering if bloodhounds isn't more apt.

Because op has had the temerity to not lay bare her whole lives details for us all...with every single i dotted, and t crossed.

I imagine she only posted in a hormonal, and strange state,...shock of loss of income, worry, her DH reacting in anger....thinking aloud in haste on here.

My only reservations is that she said she is a regular and yet anyone would know that had she simply posted, worried about 500 loss from loss of second job, she would have had vastly different response.

It was the pil 500 that has inflamed the harridans.

@ unexpected. mmmm, swiss cheese >gaaalllllhhhhhgggghhh<

Going to go make myself a sandwich now...

I've have replied earlier to this obvious wind-up, but didn't want to see the fred on my list for ages. But, at 38 pages now, looks like it won't be long.

Oh shite, so sorry idrather, I meant to put a ! Not a ? Ruddy predictive text! Love your posts btw!

I'm guessing Aberdeen it is über expensive to live due to oil industry house prices and rental are obscene!!

It was the pil 500 that has inflamed the harridans.

I'm not so sure. Could anyone really give a shiny one about the PILs or the original £500?

I suspect the vast majority are simply riled by their sense that the OP is hiding something relevant but in her view detrimental to how she will be perceived.

Like the fact they have a mortgage based on a gifted sum that has now been rescinded

I think a lot of people were frustrated at taking the time and effort to offer advice and suggestions that were then either rubbished or simply ignored by the OP, with little or not explanation, the OP was certainly very free with the 'no, won't work, can't do that' etc

I think people genuinely wanted to help, but it was a bit like like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle without the box, only a third of the pieces, plus some random pieces from other jigsaws thrown in for good measure

OP - Plenty of people have tried to help based on the info you have given, and you don't seem receptive to it, but I am not going to jump on that horse.

If you genuinely want to know how to deal with your in-laws in the post £500 world, then maybe you need to stop thinking of them as 'leaving you in dire financial straits' and start thinking of them as 'having kept you OUT of financial straits for years.'

Because no matter how you look at the figures, this is what they have been doing. With your joint income and the addition of £500 a month, many people would have been able to put aside a nest egg and still not feel like they are missing out on the little luxuries of life. The fact that you haven't suggests that you are living right up the very edge of your means without considering how difficult it could be to encounter a sudden expense or a rise in one of your regular outgoings.

It sounds to me like the £500 is just a symbol of the fact that you and your husband have been used to spending every penny that comes in, and that simply has to stop. You can read through this thread and pick out the advice that could be workable for you, or you can ignore it all and write everyone off as being mean, but the fact is that you need to change your approach to money, and the only way you can do that is to cut back wherever is possible.

Argh rinoachicken, I liked you post about balmoral, coz if its the queen posting it all fits in place...she's had her income slashed and her hubby would certainly defend her!

The other thread states they are permanently £2.5k overdrawn each month until payday as well, which is indicative of really bad budgeting and money management and really doesn't bode well.

Oh dear op husband. What's wrong ? Is it because you're both self entitled and rude. Get a grip lovely. Grow up and take care of your own family, rather than relying on other people to do it. We have not left her stressed and in tears. Your father did that by withdrawing your pocket money. As for you being mortified for her I myself am mortified for your poor father. Having to bankroll two very selfish rude people. I too am disgusted. With your attitude. As for laying a guilt trip on us. Well done. I'm afraid to say for most of us it won't work though. As for you. Threatening to stop your parents seeing your children. Your wife's words by the way not mine. That is horrific. Using a child as a weapon is awful. Especially when it's all about money.

bags

That or it's the Queen and DofE who have cut off Charles and Camilla?!