Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re.YR and evening Christmas play?

341 replies

MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:44

Dd is 4.10yo in YR. She is doing her school Christmas play this week: one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. There is also an evening performance tomorrow which parents have not been asked about. A letter was sent home today telling us to return our children to school at 6.

My dd has been quite tired in the evenings (end of term fatigue, I think). If I'd been asked, I wouldn't have given permission to do the evening slot.

WIBU if I didn't return her to school tomorrow evening if she's tired?

OP posts:
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:45

I've known about the evening thing since a newsletter was sent out in October but today was the proper letter about it.

OP posts:
DeckTheHallsWithBoughsOfHorry · 16/12/2013 16:45

If she doesn't have a part/lines and wouldn't be very disappointed, I think that sounds fair. But warn the teacher in advance.

pookamoo · 16/12/2013 16:47

We were told our YR children were "expected" to take part in the evening performance which started at 7!

LittleMissGerardButlersBaubles · 16/12/2013 16:48

No I don't think it would be unreasonable, our school did an evening performance for the first time this year and didnt ask the parents, just sent a letter a couple of days before saying children must be back in school for 5.30pm, not a please or anything!

Quite a few children didnt turn up, and I was tempted not to send my son back but he wanted to so dad could watch him.

Jinty64 · 16/12/2013 16:48

We got very late notice of an evening performance of the school Christmas show and ds3 already had another engagement. I put a note in his book bag to let them know he wouldn't be there and all was well. I would have prioritised school if I had known in time.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:50

I'd happily have her take part once in junior school, but she's only 4! The expectation at this young age has irritated me. And she doesn't have a speaking part.

I was thinking of notifying school tomorrow evening around 5pm. I'll know by then if she's too pooped.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 16/12/2013 16:51

Unless your child really is incapable of going, I would send them back.

The school is probably only having an evening performance in response to parents complaining that they can't get time off work during the day to see it. I doubt the teachers are staying late for it for their own benefit.

If you are going to keep your child at home, please tell the teachers before the night when they are expecting them.

CrohnicallySick · 16/12/2013 16:54

We do an evening performance, it is mentioned in the school newsletter at the start of term, plus mentioned again when tickets go on sale (we charge £1 per ticket to cover costs of putting on the performance, we're not making money, don't worry!).

The thing is, a lot of the children will be tired etc, and at 4.10 your Dd isn't one of the youngest. Even if your child doesn't have any lines to say, if enough YR children didn't come back it would spoil the play for those children whose parents are going to see them.

So I would say, get her there if at all possible. Teachers will understand that YR will be tired the next day, and probably have a DVD day or similar planned, after all it's the last week of term!

ChristmasJumperWearer · 16/12/2013 16:55

YANBU.

Quite a few of the younger children (without main parts) are missing from the evening performances at our school. I only realised this was the case last year, when I went to the daytime performance and then saw the evening one too. Totally reasonable.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:55

Does everyone think it would b bew better to put a note in her folder in the morning?

I appreciate the comment about some parents only being able to attend in the evening. I think I'd be happy with that if she didn't have to do it another two times.

OP posts:
Mim78 · 16/12/2013 16:55

My dd is in yr and they aren't involved in school play. In a way I think this is sad aalthough is almost certainly for reasons you have stated I.e. WI'll be too much for them

soverylucky · 16/12/2013 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 17:03

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that three performances is too much at this age!

She would be doing it again (last time) on Wednesday morning, too.

OP posts:
Chattymummyhere · 16/12/2013 17:06

We only had one at our school 9:10am no second chances etc it does seem too much 3 plays one of which is in the evening for reception children.

jellybeans · 16/12/2013 17:12

I don't usually do the evening ones unless they have a part or it is convenient. It use to annoy me being told we 'had to' go. I always tell the teacher though.

jellybeans · 16/12/2013 17:12

I don't usually do the evening ones unless they have a part or it is convenient. It use to annoy me being told we 'had to' go. I always tell the teacher though.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 17:33

Thanks everyone, your advice is appreciated Smile

I'll probably put a note in her folder tomorrow saying I'll try tp send her in but if she's not there by 6, they'll know why.

OP posts:
TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 16/12/2013 17:38

There's not a cat in hell's chance I'd be taking my 4yo back to school at 6pm! Not even if they were Mary or Joseph.

Musicaltheatremum · 16/12/2013 17:44

When my brother was 4 there was only an evening performance. My mum had to explain to the teacher that he was yawning as he was normally in bed and asleep by 6.30. I think you should see how she is.

MrsS1980 · 16/12/2013 17:46

I think you are bvu. Not because you don't want her to attend - that is totally your call - but because you have known about this since October, they have probably been practising for weeks and you are considering notifying the school 2 hours before the performance. Do you not think that is a little unfair on the teachers?

SantaClausesotherwoman · 16/12/2013 17:52

YABU if you don't turn up and don't say anything to the teachers, but if she'll genuinely be too tired just explain, I'm sure it'll be fine.
DS is Y1, their performances were evenings only, 2 evenings last week. I was a bit Hmm as they started at 6.30 and didn't finish until 8.15! DS goes to bed between half 8 and 9 so not a hugely late night for him, but I know others whose children are in bed much earlier who may have struggled 2 nights in a row.
Thing is not everyone can take time off during the day to get to a show, but it would be unfair if they had to miss out on seeing their children performing. If it's only 1 evening I can't really see much of an issue, but if would be better on a Friday so the children don't have to get up for school the next day.

judgejudithjudy · 16/12/2013 18:22

yabu but the evening preformances are only put on due to the whinging of parents saying how unfair it is that there isnt one. teachers dont get paid for overtime. its one night!

AChickenCalledKorma · 16/12/2013 18:35

Given that you've known since October, I think YABU to say parents "haven't been asked". No, you haven't been asked, but you have had plenty of time to warn the teacher that you child won't be there. And it will have an impact on the play if half of Reception don't show.

My good friend has rushed home from work last week, to attend her son's nativity play (at 6pm) and was very disappointed that only about two thirds of the performers had turned up. It's not as if they are asking them to stay up till midnight.

LindyHemming · 16/12/2013 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 18:45

YANBU - my 4 year old dd would definitely not have coped with an evening performance - she is usually in bed before 7! She would have been hysterical with tiredness. At our school consideration is always given to the reception kids wrt late nights or stuff that is too much for them. Their school disco was earlier than the older girls.