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AIBU?

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Original poster

Re.YR and evening Christmas play?

341 replies

MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:44

Dd is 4.10yo in YR. She is doing her school Christmas play this week: one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. There is also an evening performance tomorrow which parents have not been asked about. A letter was sent home today telling us to return our children to school at 6.

My dd has been quite tired in the evenings (end of term fatigue, I think). If I'd been asked, I wouldn't have given permission to do the evening slot.

WIBU if I didn't return her to school tomorrow evening if she's tired?

OP posts:
KatnipEvergreen · 16/12/2013 20:37

Why are some schools sensible enough to have day shows and some not though? At our schools the infant children always do their performances at 2pm-3pm. It is only in year 3 onwards that they would stay for an evening performance or be expected to go to a concert.

I much prefer it now our school also has an evening performance as well. There are a lot more dads there.

LingDiLong · 16/12/2013 20:39

Likewise Caterpillar. By choice I prefer daytime performances but I really can't imagine my kids being insanely, stupidly tired because of one slightly late night. A bit ratty the next day, sure. But a quiet afternoon and an early evening would have sorted it.

Pointeshoes · 16/12/2013 20:40

I think your been a little unfair to the teachers by giving them such short notice when they will of practiced for weeks.

My nursery child of 3.4 took part in his Christmas play from half 5 to half 7 last week. Yes he was tired but he was so excited to sing as a Shepard with us watching him :)

kilmuir · 16/12/2013 20:46

its one evening. send her

Lucylouby · 16/12/2013 20:50

My children's school only do afternoon shows. I struggled, but managed to get time of work and DH failed to get time of work to see our children perform. He was gutted his daddy couldn't watch him. There were plenty of other children who were missing a parent because they had to work. I wish we had the chance of an evening show, one later night really isn't going to hurt. My ds is normally fast asleep by 7pm but twice a month has to get on with it and come to brownies as I run the group and there is no one to look after him. He just gets on with it and is a bit tired the next day, then has an early night. It's not the end of the world, especially this close to the school holidays.

NoComet · 16/12/2013 20:51

I had 8-8.30 PM going to bed DDs and DD1 would do 10pm occasionally without batting an eyelid.

I used to enjoy letting parents steam quietly round me about things like this.

sockssandalsandafork · 16/12/2013 20:52

YABU
Schools really cant win can they! Our school is slated if they DON'T do an evening performance as the majority of parents work and not everyone finds it easy to get time off for nativity plays. If you are that concerned she will be tired then keep her off the next morning.

Lilacroses · 16/12/2013 20:54

Really surprised at how alot of people feel about this. We've always done an evening performance and the children find it incredibly exciting and fun to be back in school at that time..we love it too. We mainly do it though so that as many parents as possible can see the play. In all the years I've been teaching key stage 1 I've only had a couple of parents object and not bring their child. It's one night! It's 6 O'Clock.....not that late!

NoComet · 16/12/2013 20:56

Honestly as Lucy says a bit of flexibility is useful once in awhile.

DDs who are perfectly nice the next day if we have visitors or we go out for the day and they are late to bed are very useful.

They are even more useful to take on holiday, when Thompson's give you a midnight flight.

DD1 is a natural night owl, DD2 just refused to go to bed before her sister.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:58

I used to enjoy letting parents steam quietly around me about things like this

Hmm Biscuit

Silly.

Fwiw, I feel sorry for the school too because they must have parents like me in one ear and ft working parents in the other.

I'll see is she's up to it tomorrow.

OP posts:
NoComet · 16/12/2013 21:02

I know, but I know parents who think keeping 8y up is the end of the world.

I've said before, I'm certain DCs wouldn't be anything like as grumpy next morning if parents didn't expected them to be and didn't excuse bad behaviour 'with I know your tired' but'.

A small child probably doesn't know they are tired, but if being grumpy gets a fuss, they will be grumpy.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 16/12/2013 21:04

Although I realise that all children are different I doubt if one latish night is going to do much harm. Unfortunately not everybody has the luxury of being a SAHM and being able to see the play in the afternoon Lottie.

NoComet · 16/12/2013 21:08

Molatov
Either I giggled silently or I called them routine following idiots to their faces. I prefer to keep my friends so I smile and nod.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2013 21:12

yabu send her to bed earlier the next night it all evens out.

NoComet · 16/12/2013 21:12

No guess people live in fear and trembling of their DCs wanting to stay up later and losing their evenings.

Mad the sure fire way to lose your evening was to suggest DD1 went to bed before 8 that's never been an issue in our house.

Killinascullion · 16/12/2013 21:12

Ludicrous for a 4 YO to be expected to be 'performing' after 6pm.

Glad my DS infant school doesn't stoop to such daft ideas.

It's their first term of school and they're bloody knackered by 6pm at that age. I don't send mine to any evening activities for this reason.

OP, I wouldn't entertain the idea for even a millisecond.

NoComet · 16/12/2013 21:13

Mad?? Given was what I meant to type.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 16/12/2013 21:14

You are joking aren't you Killin?

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 21:15

Thank-you Killin, that is quite an accurate account of how I feel.

I'm just Grin @ Starbulbunny

OP posts:
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 21:18

Because the only reason children have a routine is so that us selfish mothers can have our eveinings of leisure.

Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

OP posts:
NoComet · 16/12/2013 21:31

School makes DC tired.
Nope reception had absolutely no effect what so ever. Actually I think it made DD2 less tired because she older and school was simpler than driving home having lunch, just starting a game and mean mother chucking you back in the car to go back to school for your sister.

Now getting up for senior school at 6.55 and spending an hour on a bus, just as teen I want a lie in hormones kick in, does make DD2 grumpy.

LingDiLong · 16/12/2013 21:32

You haven't answered my question of exactly how late it'll be though. Midnight would be a ludicrously late night for a 4 year old, 8pm wouldn't be surely? Really, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen if she went? She gets tearful and has to go home? She grumpy the next day? Neither of these things are that terrible are they?!

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 21:35

Communication from school has been pretty poor. I actually don't know what time I'd need to collect her. I assume 8pm at the latest: she was asleep by 6:30 this evening.

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 16/12/2013 21:36

I'm never sure about this. I too have late to bed dcs. They never had a 7pm bed time. However I do know dcs (and adults for that) who genuinely don't seem able to cope with the loss of a couple of hours sleep. Luckily neither DH, myself or the dcs are that way, which is great as we can go on realy cheap package holidays (involving 3am wake ups) without fall out.

ll31 · 16/12/2013 21:38

Yabu ,does your dd never diverge from your preferred bedtime.... Has she never stayed up any later... Think you sound a bit silly tbh that you won't let her take part with her friends