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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re.YR and evening Christmas play?

341 replies

MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:44

Dd is 4.10yo in YR. She is doing her school Christmas play this week: one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. There is also an evening performance tomorrow which parents have not been asked about. A letter was sent home today telling us to return our children to school at 6.

My dd has been quite tired in the evenings (end of term fatigue, I think). If I'd been asked, I wouldn't have given permission to do the evening slot.

WIBU if I didn't return her to school tomorrow evening if she's tired?

OP posts:
tyaca · 16/12/2013 20:03

Some singing and walking around ;-) It's ridic, isn't it?

It's not just the actual performance, it's the waiting around, sitting still, changing, unchanging, changing again. They're four. They've just had a really intense 12 weeks.

I'm the world's least precious person, kids are resilient, they'll soldier on etc etc. But school shows for YR, other than a one-off little sing song maybe? No need

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:03

*you, not yoy

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 20:03

'YABU. Which planet are you on Lottie?'

A planet where my 4 year old would be screaming her head off if she was in bed late after a full day at school.

Hmm
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:04

And I haven't left it too late. I actually haven't had the chance to object as the letter only went out today.

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 20:08

It's tiring for them to start school and then all the excitement about Christmas. It's a long term too. My child has been coming home wired and overtired and hyped about Christmas every day. Perhaps some 4 year olds can cope with late nights and not be totally non compliant by bed time?

cardibach · 16/12/2013 20:08

THis is unbelievable, to be honest. Weeks we've had, weeks of people moaning about who got the parts and whether it was nepotism. Now it's a 'crappy' Christmas play and it's ridiculous to keep children up for it. Oh and WOHM and dads are an inconvenience whose desire to see their children in these 'crappy' plays is unreasonable. DO get a grip!

tyaca · 16/12/2013 20:08

Molotov, that's really poor re the letter going out today. I would send her in, but then kick up a fuss later.

cardibach · 16/12/2013 20:09

Molotov you only had the letter today but you said you were notified in a newsletter in October - the letter was just a reminder with final details, surely?

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:10

Thanks tyaca I appreciate that Smile

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 20:10

cardibach you think the needs of adults come before the needs of children?

TheNightIsDark · 16/12/2013 20:13

Our school had a performance at 6:30 but said we could bring them in at 10am the next day if they were tired.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:13

@ cardi: it was a generic newsletter in Oct that gave the Xmas play dates. It said that only nursery children wouldnt be expected to take part in the evening performance on the 17th. There has been nothing other than that; no further detaila since, no consent forms. Just today saying that the children will leave school at the usual time and that we need to return them at 6pm tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:14

*details (damn this phone and my big thumbs)

OP posts:
Feminine · 16/12/2013 20:14

So...molo don't you want to go?

LingDiLong · 16/12/2013 20:17

How long is the show though? When does it actually start? Only juniors do an evening show in our kids school and they start at 6 and are done and dusted by 7.15. The infants afternoon shows are even shorter - around 45 minutes. So you'd be looking at them going to bed around an hour later than normal at most. Would that really make your average 4 year old screamingly, hysterically tired? I appreciate that the OP may have a more tired than average 4 year old, in which case I think they should trust their own judgement and give the evening show a miss. But some of the reactions to a 6pm show for 4 year olds on here seem really extreme...

HappyMummyOfOne · 16/12/2013 20:18

YABU, its one night. Rather selfish to not now take part as you have seen the show. Some parents havent.

It was on the newsletter, the letter will just be a final reminder.

Poor teachers cant win, its a wonder they bother in the first place.

SunnyRandall · 16/12/2013 20:18

Our school puts on FOUR performances, two of which are evening ones. Even the nursery class are "expected" to attend all of the shows.

Bloody ridiculous. I have a yr 2 and reception child. They will both be VILE with tiredness by the end of this week.

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 20:22

Why are some schools sensible enough to have day shows and some not though? At our schools the infant children always do their performances at 2pm-3pm. It is only in year 3 onwards that they would stay for an evening performance or be expected to go to a concert.

KatnipEvergreen · 16/12/2013 20:22

YABU if they aren't ill. I LOVED going back to school for the evening performance in reception, it was so exciting, almost magical. My daughter isn't five and managed it last week- the show was 6-7 pm so not even past her bedtime. The excitement kept her going. They had Christmas music when they were getting changed, she said it was brilliant, much better than doing the daytime ones.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 16/12/2013 20:23

You obviously don't think you're BU so its pointless posting. Whatever you decide, hope your DD gets some rest over the xmas break.

LingDiLong · 16/12/2013 20:25

Lottie, maybe it's driven my parents rather than the school? If a school has a high enough proportion of working parents who are either unable to get time off or very vocal about wanting an evening performance then they go with what the 'majority' appear to want.

BsshBossh · 16/12/2013 20:30

Well you know your child best. I was nervous about my DD last year when, in YR, she was expected to do the school play at 7pm to 8.15pm. Her bedtime was 7pm! But she was absolutely fine. Yes, tired, but she loved every minute of the evening. She was particularly excited to be doing the play at her bedtime! She still goes to bed at 7 in Y1 and her play is this week at 7 pm again. But I'll be sending her in again.

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 20:30

Well my children's school has a high proportion of working parents - a lot of people use the after school club for this reason. Maybe the school thinks the needs of children is more important than making parents feel good though?

CaterpillarCara · 16/12/2013 20:31

You were notified in October. If it said nursery were not required, then it was quite clear everyone else was.

So regardless of what you decide, you cannot say you have had a lack of notice. October is ages ago. If you were unclear, you have had two months to ask.

I suspect your daughter would cope fine. The adrenaline and excitement will keep her going. Unless you need her in top form the next day I would take her home, enforce a nap, take her back for the show. Would be tempted to ask if she could change from costume into PJs rather than clothes, then back home to bed. Plan a quiet time for after school the next day.

Schools are communities, and it works best if everyone does try to join in with what the others are doing where they can.

If the late night is Wednesday, there is only one or two days left of term - then she can sleep for two weeks!

CaterpillarCara · 16/12/2013 20:32

Children may need to perform in front of their parents though? It is only one night...

Don't get me wrong, I am pleased my school didn't do this. But if they had, I would have complied.

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