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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re.YR and evening Christmas play?

341 replies

MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 16:44

Dd is 4.10yo in YR. She is doing her school Christmas play this week: one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. There is also an evening performance tomorrow which parents have not been asked about. A letter was sent home today telling us to return our children to school at 6.

My dd has been quite tired in the evenings (end of term fatigue, I think). If I'd been asked, I wouldn't have given permission to do the evening slot.

WIBU if I didn't return her to school tomorrow evening if she's tired?

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 18:46

Euphemia - they are 4 years old - not much more than babies!

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 18:47

Since when is a crappy school play more important than the well being of a child who has to be back in school tomorrow?

MincedMuffPies · 16/12/2013 18:52

You should go, its part of their run up to christmas and they remember things like school plays.

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 16/12/2013 18:53

YANBU Your child's rest time is more important than the parents who can't get time of to see their dc's play.

Could you pick your dd up earlier, after lunch maybe, so she can rest in the afternoon and then go in in the evening?

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 18:57

Yes, they are just 4/5yo. My dd is usually in bed on a schoolnight at 7pm.

There has been no official 'ask' for the children to be returned to school. Even for the school disco, there was about 4 weeks official notice. Yes, I knew; I knew she'd probably be tired but these last two weeks she really is a tired girl.

Like I said, I would gladly take her and see it as a one off it was just the one show. But my daughter is 4yo, tired from her first ft school term and her needs come before anything else.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 16/12/2013 18:58

I think you need to make the decision sooner rather than later about whether you will or won't let her do it.

If you don't want her to then that's fine, but it's really not going to help anyone if you send a note in saying that you'll try to send her but if she's not there by the time they need her then they can assume she's not coming. The teacher will not think you are being thoughtful and considerate for doing that, they will think you're a pain in the arse that just needs to make a decision.

Presumably you know what she's like around 6.00 every other night. Just make a choice based on that and let the school know tomorrow morning if you aren't going to take her.

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 19:01

You should have said last October that she couldn't do it. It is a bit late to drop out now.

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 19:05

I agree with you OP that it's appropriate for them to do evening performances once they're in the junior school and not before. By that age they can cope with the odd later than usual night. For children who've just done one term in reception they have usually only just stopped falling asleep in the car at pick up time Smile

Hulababy · 16/12/2013 19:05

I think evening performances for reception age children are ridiculous, even if it is because of parents complaining. The needs of little ones must come first - and it really isn't in their best interests to be going to do a school play a couple of hours or so after school finished - and not finishing til the time many would be going to bed.

I work in an infant school and we do no after school performances at all, for any age groups.

When DD was at primary the infants never did evning performances either - only during the day. Only when they got to junior school age, so Y3 up, did they have evening performances. I think that is soon enough.

ContentedSidewinder · 16/12/2013 19:07

Both my children have done this, 3 performances, a Monday afternoon, a Monday evening and a Tuesday morning.

Both my children are summer babies, it is one flipping evening performance that is put on because some parents are unable to make the day time performances.

The only thing to consider it whether in future years this may go against your child if they are unable to attend an evening performance, ie she will have minor roles.

And yes, both my two used to be in bed for 7pm at that age.

crapholes · 16/12/2013 19:20

Our evening performance is the night before the last day of term. This year (ds1 is now year 5) it has been moved earlier to 6.30pm, historically it has always been 7. Last year is the first year I know of that people complained of it being too late, hence the move to a slightly earlier time.

Some parents don't want their children involved, some children miss it because they're poorly, this is always accepted without fuss. It's nice for all the children to be involved though.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 16/12/2013 19:43

YABU. Which planet are you on Lottie?

candycoatedwaterdrops · 16/12/2013 19:46

I think YABU. It's only one night and it's not nice to pull her out now.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 16/12/2013 19:47

Meant to add - think you're projecting. I'm sure she'll soldier on for the night. Kids are resilient little creatures.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 16/12/2013 19:47

She can nap after school too.

tyaca · 16/12/2013 19:49

I'd be fuming, tbh.

DS - also YR - had twos shows on Friday, one morning and one afternoon. He still hasn't recovered, and I was thinking of dropping school a note about it. Autumn term in YR is so tough, long & tiring. They don't really need to be doing a show at all at that age.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 19:52

@ Candy: "projecting" - how?

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 16/12/2013 19:54

Wow tyaca!

What did they do in your show that takes them more than three days to recover from?

unlucky83 · 16/12/2013 19:56

Both mine did 3 performances - Tue and Wed daytime and Thur evening - finished at 7.15 ish.
They did them in P1 when they were 4 -and they survived! DD2 (now 6) has just done her second round last week - (infant and junior schools do alternate years).
It is only one night, they enjoy it - all their class mates are doing it -don't make her miss out!

LindyHemming · 16/12/2013 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

canweseethebunnies · 16/12/2013 19:58

My 4 yo dd had one afternoon and two evening performances on consecutive nights. They gave all the reception kids minor roles like angels, stars etc. A few didn't make it back for the second evening as they were too tired. It was no big deal!

candycoatedwaterdrops · 16/12/2013 19:59

Projecting about how she (the OP) feels about her DD's tiredness.

Feminine · 16/12/2013 19:59

I think she'll be fine. My DD is the same age, hers is tomorrow.

I didn't send her in for the carol concert as that was going to drag on...the nativity plays are shorter.

Actually ( meant in the nicest way) don't you want to go? It is her first one? ;)

Rhubarbgarden · 16/12/2013 20:02

I would take her. It's only one night, and I think you've left it a bit too late to complain about it now.

Original poster
MolotovCocktail · 16/12/2013 20:02

What yoy call 'projecting', I'd call 'parenting'. I know my daughter is tired and doing an evening play will be too much. I'm speaking up for her because she doesn't have the ability to at just 4yo.

OP posts:
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