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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why some peoples response is always LTB

294 replies

anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:06

I've noticed over many threads that people say "if it was my DH" all the time and LTB go hand in hand. I've seen people ask for advice today on here and they just get torn to pieces and it's worse if the OP is male.

AIBU to wonder why this is always the case?. If everyone took the advice they got on here sometimes nobody would ever salvage a relationship Confused

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 23/09/2013 12:12

Is this a bit of windy-uppy? Only we have just had this thread a few days ago (at great length) and it is a regular poke-MNers-with-a-stick-and-make-them-cross occurrence.

OK, on the off chance this isn't, you claim:

-women are always being told LTB
-male posters are treated far more harshly
-posted advice is hostile to salvaging relationships.

None of that is true, in my experience. It is true that MN does not give women the kind of dismissive, minimising, conservative and even misogynistic advice they too often get elsewhere.

0/10 for the goad. Try something else.

Original poster
anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:16

no no it's a genuine thread can link me the other one please?. Reading it back I meant to say the "same people" responding with LTB on every thread.Sad Sad

OP posts:
EldritchCleavage · 23/09/2013 12:19

OK, but I would be wary of appearing to pick out specific posters as giving bad advice. It really is much better to disagree politely on the thread in question.

The latest LTB controversy thread is here.

FavoriteThings · 23/09/2013 12:20

There are at least 2 posters who only want an op to ltb.

My theory is they have husbands or partners who do what they want, so cant for the life of them think that maybe all men are not like that.

FavoriteThings · 23/09/2013 12:21

op. Dont name them mind. Else it will be you in trouble with MNHQ.

Original poster
anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:23

That's why I posted this thread. Don't want to name at all was just wondering....

OP posts:
everlong · 23/09/2013 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 23/09/2013 12:25

I'm sure it's on on every thread... Wink

Perhaps they tend to post on threads where LTB really is the best option.

In which particular thread was LTB unwarranted?

AnyFucker · 23/09/2013 12:25

You might as well name the posters in question, tbh.

Goading is against talk guidelines. Giving realistic advice that suits the situation, in your own opinion, is not.

FavoriteThings · 23/09/2013 12:27

Dont name op.

Original poster
anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:27

No particular thread I've just noticed it more the last day or so

OP posts:
everlong · 23/09/2013 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 23/09/2013 12:30

Totally get you OP and also favoritethings wrt to your theory. My (not-so-dear) Mother has had worse luck with men and even the tiniest trivial moan from me about my DP sparks a huge LTB campaign.

I've learnt to keep my mouth shut about him now.

CoffeeTea103 · 23/09/2013 12:31

Op, have noticed this too.maybe those saying ltb all the time are just bitter from their own experiences and can't see beyond that being the only solution. I've seen thread where ltb advice was so ott in relation to the thread.

EldritchCleavage · 23/09/2013 12:32

Happy now, OP?

Original poster
anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:33

think I wish I never asked?Sad

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/09/2013 12:35

Ah come, everlong. Yes, I see LTB a lot. It's often justified by the time the OP makes it to mumsnet, IMO. As long as she's not getting a black eye or having her child benefit pinched off her though, it's all just "men don't see dirt, really, do they...give him a list and teach him what to do carry on sucking shit etc"

it's a toxic narrative

the reason why women still do 80% (on average) of shitwork even when both of them work FT is because of the "women see dirt, are more nurturing, have to make more compromises, would be controlling to make him pick his own skiddy undies up" bollocks that gets rammed into their consciousness virtually from the minute they are born

I am happy to give a different viewpoint

don't be any man's skivvy

it's a simple message, and an important one. After that, it all makes perfect sense.

everlong · 23/09/2013 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EldritchCleavage · 23/09/2013 12:38

I am not touchy. But I am deeply sceptical of these kinds of threads. I can express that if I wish.

AnyFucker · 23/09/2013 12:41

Yep, these kinds of threads often get regulars tearing strips out of each other. Job done, in many cases. OP should be aware of that.

everlong · 23/09/2013 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeybunny14 · 23/09/2013 12:42

Agree with you op but i dont think its the case with every thread ive seen some good and bad advice on here

everlong · 23/09/2013 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:43

I'm pretty new so didn't realise sorry

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/09/2013 12:45

TBf, everlong, I don't think anyone takes notice of a poster that comes onto a thread to say "LTB" and then disappears

Swipe left for the next trending thread