To wonder why some peoples response is always LTB

[anon2013]

I've noticed over many threads that people say "if it was my DH" all the time and LTB go hand in hand. I've seen people ask for advice today on here and they just get torn to pieces and it's worse if the OP is male.

AIBU to wonder why this is always the case?. If everyone took the advice they got on here sometimes nobody would ever salvage a relationship

Cherry, not nit.

everlong, don't get snitty because two people are pointing out flaws in your argument. The thread you have adduced as evidence to support your opinion does not, in fact, support your opinion. You are still entitled to your opinion though. That is all there is to it.

If people can't understand what you are saying, it is your fault. Sorry.
That is a basic principle of communication.

So, please do explain to us, as if we were very stupid.

But with sound arguments.

Yes, and did the "some people" who always say LTB all pile in and say LTB? According to your own account of it, no. One non-usual suspect person did. The rest said the things like YANBU, it is selfish, I wouldn't put up with it etc.

You have to be winding us up surely. Do you really not see how this is not an example of the thing you're claiming it's an example of?

I give in. You are winding us up.

it was a genuine question that I wished I'd never asked.

anon - as someone who is often (but not always ) to be found dishing out a LTB response, please don't feel you have anything to answer on this thread. It has taken on a life all of its own and is now about an exchange between other posters quite independent of you. In fact, if someone were to come on in a week and ask, "who posted that thread called To Wonder Why Some People's..." few would be able to remember your name, but most would be able to remember some of the more vocal contributors on the thread. Don't worry about it. You haven't really been on MN until you've had at least one flaming.

I do feel these threads are oddly useful because sometimes people do get the same impression.
It's good that it can be clarified.

Hahah, everlong, I came back to this thread to ask you for examples of this happening: But there are men who aren't bastards and their women are quickly told to leave them

I see you've already given one, which wasn't in Relationships, and where the woman was not told to leave her non-bastard husband.

It's quite unusual to give an example that supports the opposition's point Could you try again, please, with a thread demonstrating your assertion? Thanks.

any links to these threads where we are all telling the OP to LTB when the husband is taking a shower once during kids bedtime or whatevah?

Sigh, again, the selfish comment was after the OP complained that he had done it several times.
Only after the selfish comment did the OP say he was very hands on.

And, again, the person who made such comment explained the reasons for saying so, as I transcribed. Because based on the information given, and the way the OP was complaining, the pp could infer that XYZ.
She didn't insist that the OP should actually LTB after updates.

And it was very selfish and self-centered of him.

It was not a complaint that he had done it once, and he was a hands on dad.

Context is a bitch.

The (in)famous shower thread

Erm, Everlong, "tbh though I'm not sure I'd bother with a relationship with someone that self centered", is a statement of the writer's own values, for herself. Unless she then tried bullying the OP round to her way of thinking, that's all it is.

It's okay to be wrong, you know. Doesn't hurt :)

And further nit picking:
She said "I'm not sure I'd bother".

Not "I definitely wouldn't bother".

So, so, sorry.

Wrong thread link.

The correct shower thread

She was making the complaint without further info.

I thought the comment ' I wouldn't leave the bastard ' a strange one. Given what the man had actually done.

I was rather getting the feeling you thought it strange when you first quoted, but I didn't want to jump down your throat.

It's a kind of a joke. It's rooted in the in-joke of LTB and the our regular furore over whether everyone on MN says "LTB" all the time, whatever the situation. Isn't it clear, from the fact that it's followed by Just point out what he's doing and get him moreinvolved in bedtime.

She's saying that the problem can be solved by simply talking about it all. I thought that this is the kind of response you approve of on MN?

Obviously it would have worked better with a smiley after it.

omg this is nowhere near a flaming. I was like Icarus a few years ago. Barbecued. Smoking. Years later I confessed to the thread on a light hearted thread about infamous threads. People remembered! They popped me back in the microwave. This is nothing . Seriously!

I was actually having a conversation with my mum today about an ex of mine. She said to me that she had never understood why we ever got together. I wish she'd have said that at the time. The fact is, people in your life tend not to, because they don't want to deal with your denial and possible anger at them. Posters on mumsnet who give you an unbiased reality check are to be prized as rubies. I wish I'd had them to talk to when I was so unhappy.