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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give the DC a day off school for this reason?

207 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:32

MIL is over from Oz...she comes once a year and she goes back on Sunday. Shall I keep the DC off school tomorrow so that they get an extra full day with her? It's only just occurred to me to suggest it...I've not mentioned it to MIL or DC yet.

She loves them so much and it's reciprocated....she misses them badly over the year. Also...if I am not being unreasonable, what shall I tell school?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 05/09/2013 11:33

YABU.

I assume she has already been over for a couple of weeks? They will still get to see her after school and on Saturday.

Floralnomad · 05/09/2013 11:34

YABU

CMOTDibbler · 05/09/2013 11:35

YABU

WibblyWoman · 05/09/2013 11:35

YANBU I'd keep them off. One day off with do no harm! You could explain the situation to school and hope they're understanding?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 05/09/2013 11:35

I agree with Sirzy, YABU. They can do something together on Saturday. It would be different if this was a real flying visit with only 1 day on which they could get together.

CarpeVinum · 05/09/2013 11:37

It's not unreasonable at all. As for what to tell the school, would the school really object under the circumstances ? Surely they have some wriggle room in the rules for exceptional circs.

Lweji · 05/09/2013 11:37

How long has she been visiting?

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 05/09/2013 11:37

How many full days has she already had with them?

Sirzy · 05/09/2013 11:38

Schools have very little "wriggle room" now and I wouldn't class this as exceptional circumstances.

SoonToBeSix · 05/09/2013 11:38

Yanbu some people are obsessed with not missing a day of school at any cost.

CoffeeTea103 · 05/09/2013 11:38

YANBU, it's one day and it will be another year since they see each other. Let them have a special day together

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 05/09/2013 11:40

You know what - who cares how long she has already been there.

Keep them off school, let them enjoy the day with her.

I remember how much I missed my Nana and another day off school to have spent another full day with her would have meant the world to me when she came to visit. (My parents had taken us overseas to live and I missed her so so much).

teatimesthree · 05/09/2013 11:42

YANBU - I am a right stickler for school attendance, but this is an exception. The bond between DCs and GPs can be so lovely, and this is a great opportunity for them to have a lovely 'bonus' day together.

thebody · 05/09/2013 11:42

yes of course, I would in a heartbeat.

life is precious and frail. your mil lives the other side if the world and can't see that much if her gc.

there are more important things than school.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:42

I feel like that Chipping and I know school are having to crack down on days off...but we've not booked any hols in term time ever...when you're 5, a whole day is a lot...and I think MIL would appreciate it massively.

OP posts:
Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:43

thebody exactly...it's another day of memories to grab.

OP posts:
Fakebook · 05/09/2013 11:43

Presumably they've had a few weeks with her already and school only just opened in England yesterday or the day before! They'll have whole of Saturday too. YABU.

Lweji · 05/09/2013 11:47

If she, for example, has had a month to be with them one day is not going to make a difference and it wouldn't occur to me to have a day off school.
If she has only had a week or less, I'd definitely let them have the day.

If they are very young, then it certainly won't make a difference.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/09/2013 11:48

Our school have said that they will no longer authorise absence in situations like this, which if it is a longish visit then isn't an issue but for a quick trip is pretty harsh.

I do think it sends a strange message to children though to keep them off school for things other than illness.

Feminine · 05/09/2013 11:49

YANBU ...:)

CarpeVinum · 05/09/2013 11:50

Schools have very little "wriggle room" now and I wouldn't class this as exceptional circumstances.

But reading other threads, they have "wriggle room" enough in terms of deeming Other Stuff more important than a day of school, such as sending kids home and missing education due to logo-ed uniform not arriving in time, or wearing the wrong coloured socks cos a kid has the indoor coloured PE socks instead of the outdoor PE coloured socks.

Looking in from the outside... it's strange. Surely family ties are a greater priority in the grand scheme of things than ...ties ?

Maybe the Italian bodysnatchers got me in the end. But the priorities look topsey turvey.

quoteunquote · 05/09/2013 11:50

We never take the children out of school except for illness,

but in your situation, I would, it is really important to children to have that relationship with older family members,

in your situation you do not know if or when they will have the opportunity again,

go to the zoo, go to the beach, something that they will enjoy together,

ask the school for any work that may be missed, and make sure the children do it.

comingalongnicely · 05/09/2013 11:56

YANBU

Let her have a "sickie" from school & have a day she'll remember.

It's one day, she's not going to miss anything catastrophic....

claraschu · 05/09/2013 12:02

In answer to the people who "never let their children miss school for anything but sickness": I know lots of people whose children occasionally (or often) pretend to feel sick. My three have NEVER done this, because they know that there are other good reasons to miss school. They don't have to lie and pretend, (though because of the laws, I have to lie to school on occasion).

mrsfuzzy · 05/09/2013 12:02

depends on how long she's been in the u.k visiting. i wouldn't take dc on a sickie though what if questions were asked at school ? could be awkward, also for future requests such as holidays. i would rather tell the school what was happening and sound it out.

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