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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give the DC a day off school for this reason?

207 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:32

MIL is over from Oz...she comes once a year and she goes back on Sunday. Shall I keep the DC off school tomorrow so that they get an extra full day with her? It's only just occurred to me to suggest it...I've not mentioned it to MIL or DC yet.

She loves them so much and it's reciprocated....she misses them badly over the year. Also...if I am not being unreasonable, what shall I tell school?

OP posts:
OneStepCloser · 05/09/2013 12:21

I would, without doubt. Wouldnt even think about it.

DeWe · 05/09/2013 12:31

She comes once a year.
If you do it this year as a "treat", they'll expect it next year, and the year after...

If it was once every 5 years then you'd have a point perhaps.

Bowlersarm · 05/09/2013 12:35

YABU

It's not something I'd do.

ilovesooty · 05/09/2013 12:37

If you choose to do it I don't see why the school should provide work as suggested up thread.

Osmiornica · 05/09/2013 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreadLock · 05/09/2013 12:38

Most definitely keep them off. One day off school for fun has never killed anyone.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 12:39

I don't like lying to school....my Mum says I should just be honest and tell them. But aargh!

OP posts:
claraschu · 05/09/2013 12:40

Keep them of school, but li to the school. Unfortunately, telling the truth will probably mean the school don't excuse the absence. I wouldn't give it another thought, if I were you.

claraschu · 05/09/2013 12:41

Lie to the school, not li-

Sirzy · 05/09/2013 12:41

By lying to the school you are expecting the children to lie to the school to. That is wrong on a lot of levels.

ArabellaBeaumaris · 05/09/2013 12:42

As someone who grew up with grandparents overseas, I would keep them off.

ilovesooty · 05/09/2013 12:42

So expect the child to lie on return to school?

ilovesooty · 05/09/2013 12:43

Sorry x post there.

teacherandguideleader · 05/09/2013 12:43

Life doesn't always fit into school holidays. I don't think one or two days off in a year will harm them if it is to do something unusual.

My best friend works abroad somewhere where it is not possible to visit. I cannot remember the last time I saw her as she comes home for a few days but I obviously can't take a day off. I would never begrudge a child a day off to visit someone who they don't normally get to see.

Just be careful what you say to the school and other people - I have a girl off 'ill' at the moment and one class member said to another - 'oh her bbm says she is on holiday'. I pretended not to hear, I am sure there are some who would report ...

Sunnysummer · 05/09/2013 12:43

Definitely depends on how long she's been with you, but I'd say YANBU. Usually I'm a stickler, but I live overseas from my family, and know how precious visits are and even how uncertain it can be how much more time you will get to spend with people who are a long time away. So long as you and the DC will not have to lie about being sick (because that feels like a dangerous habit to start!), I'd say do it.

For Alibaba and anyone else worried about the message it will send -
I think it sends the children the very important message that family is hugely important and time with the people who love you the most in the world is incredibly precious.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 12:44

I never said I'd lie! I said I don't like lying.

OP posts:
Googlella · 05/09/2013 12:47

I don't have a problem with young children occasionally missing school for reasons like this, but I do think this stage of term isn't a great time to do it.

Sirzy · 05/09/2013 12:47

Neo - how long as has she been over for? You have been asked a few times but seem to have missed the questions.

Sparklysilversequins · 05/09/2013 12:49

I would and I wouldn't think twice about it.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 12:51

Sirzy yes...because I don't think that information is relevant. I don't feel it's going to sway my choice at all. She's been here for a decent amount of time and to me it's not that which matters but the fact that her time is now coming to an end and we wont see her again for months and months.

OP posts:
FoxyRevenger · 05/09/2013 12:52

I would do it definitely!

When I was young we had family stay with us often from NZ and we always took, say, a half day, so that we could say goodbye to them.

It's obviously an important relationship so I think it's the right thing to do.

Sirzy · 05/09/2013 12:52

Of course it is relevant. the longer she has been here the more unreasonable you are being.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 05/09/2013 12:52

YANBU

Lweji · 05/09/2013 12:52

And school is not even a full day, usually.

If she's staying in your home, it's only a few hours.

They'll be back at 3:30 or something and still plenty of time to spend with her.

It's more important that they spend quality time together than just time.

Lweji · 05/09/2013 12:53

It has to come to an end eventually.

They have already had loads of opportunities to create good memories and she's not even leaving on Friday.