Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give the DC a day off school for this reason?

207 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:32

MIL is over from Oz...she comes once a year and she goes back on Sunday. Shall I keep the DC off school tomorrow so that they get an extra full day with her? It's only just occurred to me to suggest it...I've not mentioned it to MIL or DC yet.

She loves them so much and it's reciprocated....she misses them badly over the year. Also...if I am not being unreasonable, what shall I tell school?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 05/09/2013 23:37

Yes YABU. Although you refuse to answer specifically how long she's been here, you have acknowledged that it has been "a decent amount of time", so this day isn't a 'one off' or 'exceptional circumstance' as would be the case if she were passing through the UK for some single day on a flying visit for some reason (flight stopover or something).
The first few days of term are really important for children, and it can unsettle them for a long time if they miss all the settling in things.

macsmumsad · 06/09/2013 01:21

YANBU!

If my parents or PIL had ever spent nanosecond of interest in us or DC, I would definitely keep DC off school. Life is too short.

Lweji · 06/09/2013 02:41

To all those that don't agree with the children having a day off, do your family live here in the uk? Until you have family that live thousands of miles away it is hard to understand what a difference a day with them makes. Op my dd's grandparents live in oz, I would give them the day off

As it was asked, I lived abroad from my parents until a few years ago.
Since having DS I'd visit once or twice a year at most.
Usually I visited during the Summer, and yes, sometimes DS and I managed to spend a few hours not with my parents.

The last time they visited, for just a few days, DS was 5 in Reception and he went to school.

Lweji · 06/09/2013 02:41

And they are VERY interested in the children.

ilovesooty · 06/09/2013 02:45

The Teaching Unions are, according to the wireless, planning more strikes so clearly they don't thinking missing the odd day damages children's education!

Completely irrelevant. Teachers don't make the rules regarding school attendance.

Sirzy · 06/09/2013 05:11

I have family living abroad, who come here far less regularly the the OPs mil does. I still don't agree with the idea of letting children miss a day of school when they have already spent plenty of time with them over the summer.

ilovecolinfirth · 06/09/2013 05:27

The children really should go to school, it sends out the wrong message, especially if they've been seeing her quite a lot over the last week or two.

Why don't YOU take the opportunity to spend quality adult time with her instead? Do things you cannot do easily with children around.

sleepywombat · 06/09/2013 05:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyBaby1day · 06/09/2013 05:42

YANBU, keep them off to see her, she's their family after all. One day won't hurt!.

Jinty64 · 06/09/2013 05:50

I kept the children off school last Friday afternoon for a close family wedding at which ds3 was a page boy but, I sent them in the morning and picked them up at lunchtime so they missed as little as possible. I wouldn't keep them off in your circumstances.

Jaynebxl · 06/09/2013 06:00

Another one who thinks the key points are that she has already been here for a decent amount of time and doesn't leave till Sunday so no reason to keep dc off scbool today. Sets a bad example to the children.

YABU

LolaCrayola · 06/09/2013 06:06

Absolutely keep them at home to be with their grandmother. I would tell the school the reason, it is very important for children who don't see their grandparents very often to have every opportunity to do so, I am sure the school will understand!

livinginwonderland · 06/09/2013 07:08

To all those that don't agree with the children having a day off, do your family live here in the uk? Until you have family that live thousands of miles away it is hard to understand what a difference a day with them makes. Op my dd's grandparents live in oz, I would give them the day off

My grandparents live in Australia too. I moved here when I was two. Whenever they (or any of my other relatives) came to visit, I still went to school. I saw them evenings and weekends like I would if (hypothetically) they were visiting from just down the road. You wouldn't pull them out in the middle GCSE or A-level years to see relatives, would you?

thistlelicker · 06/09/2013 07:18

Seems the op had already decided!!! A yearly visit yes it's a long time but it appears she's had the whole summer!!! Six hours out a day isn't going to kill the granny to have some adult time and then spend the rest of the weekend making most of what time is left!!!! There's always Skype so I doubt she is missing that much if the grand kids!!! And no I don't have family abroad either

heronsfly · 06/09/2013 07:21

I would keep him off and I'm another one with children who are never off unless they are really ill.
As other posters have said, some things (not many), are more important than a days schooling, I have a dgs who starts school next week, and I'm going to miss him terribly as I look after him two days a week, The love you feel for a grandchild is indescribable until you actually have one, I think it would be lovely to give your mum an extra day with him.

nancy75 · 06/09/2013 07:49

There is always Skype?!? Words fail me.

juniperinNZ · 06/09/2013 07:55

YANBU at all. My mum visits once a year for 2 weeks, and when she visits next year I fully intend to let my 5 year old have a couple of days off school so they can spend some extra quality time together. My mum is very supportive of us living in NZ, but she misses her 3 grandkids like crazy, and as much as Skype gives her the opportunity to see them it nowhere makes up for being able to spend time with them and get cuddles and 2 weeks goes very quickly. I don't see how the fact the OP's MIL comes over every year makes any difference - a year is a long time!
Mind you, they are a lot more relaxed here in NZ and DD's teacher would actually encourage us to give her some time to spend with her Grandma - they value out of school experiences here, a girl in her class has just spent 3 days skiing for example (very accessible here in the South Island). Despite having a more relaxed approach (and that is one of the reasons I prefer schooling here to the UK - and that is speaking as a ex UK teacher myself), we still have excellent numeracy and literacy standards here, and very well rounded children.
Make the most of the time they have OP - I would.

thistlelicker · 06/09/2013 08:12

Skype after an extensive summer of activities and memories is hardly a hardship is it??

BlazinStoke · 06/09/2013 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 06/09/2013 08:17

Let them have the day off OP, it will be a lovely treat. Some people are slaves to the rules.

Floggingmolly · 06/09/2013 08:36

Yes, nancy, there's always Skype. In making the decision to move to the other side of the world; accepting that you won't be able to pop into Grandma's for a cup of tea anytime you fancy it is surely a given??

raisah · 06/09/2013 08:41

Send them to school & get your MIL to do all her packing/shopping for her trip home during school hours. So then she will have all of this afternoon & all of tomorrow to spend time with them.

laughterlover · 06/09/2013 09:10

One day of school? no big deal imo.

YANBU I would keep them off too.

laughterlover · 06/09/2013 09:11

As for a reason. Upset tummy usually works, say could be something dodgy you ate or a bug.

EuphemiaLennox · 06/09/2013 09:25

I've never understood the new hardline rules where schools won't authorise an absence and the angst about it??

So, you take them out and the the absence is 'unauthorised'. How does that affect you or your child? It's hardly a great threat is it?

OP YANBU.

School is so important.
But it's not always the most important.