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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give the DC a day off school for this reason?

207 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/09/2013 11:32

MIL is over from Oz...she comes once a year and she goes back on Sunday. Shall I keep the DC off school tomorrow so that they get an extra full day with her? It's only just occurred to me to suggest it...I've not mentioned it to MIL or DC yet.

She loves them so much and it's reciprocated....she misses them badly over the year. Also...if I am not being unreasonable, what shall I tell school?

OP posts:
MrRected · 06/09/2013 12:15

It's just 1 day. I am in Australia and I know for a fact that my DDs teacher would encourage a day off for this reason. She thinks the emotional development of a young child is just as, if not more important than learning ABCs.

I wouldn't give ir a second thought.

coralanne · 06/09/2013 12:15

Give them a day off school so they can spend as much time as possible with their grandmother.

They will never get these days back again.

I've been trying to remember from my very distant University days, which philosopher said something along the lines of

"Herding children into classrooms and away from life".

No one I know can tell me. They all think it is a great quote but have never heard it before.

I'm starting to wonder if I am imagining it.

The point I'm trying to make is that an extra day with Grandma is worth about a week of sitting in a stuffy classroom.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 06/09/2013 12:28

Sure - and the good thing is that the crappy old stuffy classroom will still be available when it's convenient again on Monday, eh?

squoosh · 06/09/2013 12:28

Yes, it will.

MrRected · 06/09/2013 12:51

The classroom is probably very nice Nit. I think you are being a tad over zealous, the child in question is 5 years old. I don't think that she will miss anything that can't be easily made up. Are you a teacher/school administrator?

valiumredhead · 06/09/2013 12:53

All my close friends are teachers or work in schools-I know what they would do

valiumredhead · 06/09/2013 12:53
Wink
candycoatedwaterdrops · 06/09/2013 13:03

I don't think the odd day off will do any harm but there are some people who allow their children many 'odd days off' and I think that sets a poor example. The whole 'they will remember this forever' stuff is very silly. They'll have a nice day but I'm sure they won't remember it forever.

valiumredhead · 06/09/2013 13:05

You'd be surprised, my ds often talks about days with my grand parents who are no longer alive. They were very very close and days together were precious.

morethanpotatoprints · 06/09/2013 13:09

Oh take them out, they will learn far more than if they were in school.
School is very over rated Grin
It's only a day, I'd ask her to tell them about some of the culture, weather, history etc.
Not a full day but bits here and there.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 06/09/2013 13:11

No, I'm not a teacher or an administrator - I just don't think you should sack off school for this reason, and I certainly don't think the posters suggested OP lies about it are right.

And I don't think it's reasonable to think of school as herding children away from life in favour of stuffiness etc etc if you're quite happy to herd them there when it's convenient for you!

Lweji · 06/09/2013 13:11

Why don't YOU take the opportunity to spend quality adult time with her instead? Do things you cannot do easily with children around.

I suspect the real reason is that the OP would rather want the MIL out of her way. Wink

BTW, I took DS out of nursery school (4 year of age) to take him to visit his GPs to take advantage of a business trip I had to make anyway.
The school was happy to grant the days off.
I'd do it as well if he was older, unless it interfered with exams.
But that would be because he wouldn't see his GPs anytime sooner anyway.

Yes, update.

And, assuming you have a H, if you have a MIL, what was his opinion? And of the MIL?

Lweji · 06/09/2013 13:14

I'm amazed that people seriously suggest fantastic activities for the GM to do with the children.

Why couldn't they have done it earlier??? You know, on holiday.

Unless it was a one off activity that happened only this Friday, I can't possibly see what couldn't be done at another time...

Lweji · 06/09/2013 13:14

or tomorrow.

ilovesooty · 06/09/2013 13:18

All the stuff about whether it would benefit the children to have the day with grandmother or whether their education would be compromised by a single day off school is beside the point.

It simply isn't an acceptable reason for the headteacher to authorise absence and at the end of the day s/he has to justify their decisions.

morethanpotatoprints · 06/09/2013 13:20

I thought it read that she went back tomorrow and today would be the last full day in England.

Either way what is the harm? Education is important but school isn't necessary for this. The dc could learn a lot about Australia during this day.

ilovesooty · 06/09/2013 13:20

And, as I said, levels of unauthorised absence impact on the school. If one person starts doing this, then others follow suit for all sorts of spurious reasons, the school has problems which come home to roost.

MrRected · 06/09/2013 13:21

Each to their own.

I do let my kids have random days off school once or twice a year. Ds1 in particular, works extremely hard at his sport of choice - around 15 hours a week of training. He's a reasonable student and always does his best so I see no harm in exercising my parental judgement in favour of his overall well being.

ilovesooty · 06/09/2013 13:22

Education is important but school isn't necessary for this

Parents who want to pick and choose might be better off home schooling if they can't support their child's school and attendance expectations.

MrRected · 06/09/2013 13:22

I don't lie about our reasons though.

LJL69 · 06/09/2013 13:26

Do it

morethanpotatoprints · 06/09/2013 13:30

ilovesooty

I see your point but until my dd was H.ed we were actively encouraged to pick and choose classes to fit in with her outside activities.
Ok the reason is different but the end result the same, she still wasn't in school.

coralanne · 06/09/2013 13:48

Ilovesooty (love the name. Is this the sooty from sooty and sweep?

My DD attended a very expensive private school (and loved it). Then a top of the range University and obtained a Bachelor of Education , primary teaching. I was and will always be very proud of her.

(Mum get a grip, it's Primary teaching not brain surgery) when I bragged about her obtaining honours.

The thing is she does home school her DC. Today she posted photos on my facebook page (all private, so no one else could see them).

She had 3 other home school families over for the day. 15 DC ranging in age from 2 to 12. It was magic to look at. The DC organised their own lessons for the day. Mixing different colours to see what other colours they could make. Painting where the older DC helped the little ones.

They all had a different coloured paint from their fingertips to their elbows.

They made pancakes with some DC doing the measuring of ingredients, some cooking the pancakes, some cutting up fruit to go with them.

This was a fun day but they were all still learning.

marcopront · 06/09/2013 14:05

I know it is too late for this situation, but can anybody tell why the memories of this day will be more special than the other days with their grandmother. Also when is she going to pack?

I don't live in the uk, and my daughter's father lives in another country. He visited last year, with the permission of the head I took her off school for two days to spend time with him, but those days made it up to 20 days he had spent with her all year. If she had seen more of him, I would have sent her to school.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 06/09/2013 14:34

Sorry, she could tell them about Australia and and that will be educational? More so than school?

Quite apart from the fact that I assume in all the long time she's already been over, that subject could have been covered and probably has, it sounds like a bloody boring way to spend a day!

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